KimmyKatt(sub female)
|
1 month ago •
Dec 19, 2025
A D type "owes" nothing and neither does the s type, in my opinion. However, with that being said there is an expectation of equal exchange in this dynamic. It is said that the s type has all of the power. I full on disagree. This to me shows an inherent misunderstanding of D/s. The goal is power EXCHANGE. If one person has all of the power then there is no exchange, only control. And if that is coming from the s type then wouldn't it be topping from the bottom? I think there is a very delicate dance that has to happen. The D type has to also be vulnerable about their needs to the s type just as the s type needs to be open about their needs to the D type. In this exchange there is a flow of energy where no one should disappear or have to shrink to be held. And yes D types need holding, too. The job of the s type is to meet the needs of the D type and vice versa. Without that there is no D/s.
|
|
|
Online now
K y i v{Walking}
|
1 month ago •
Dec 19, 2025
The language sounds transactional, I don't think she meant it to be.
I think of the relationship as symbiotic. |
|
|
subtlecyn(sub female)
|
1 month ago •
Dec 19, 2025
KimmyKatt wrote: A D type "owes" nothing and neither does the s type, in my opinion. However, with that being said there is an expectation of equal exchange in this dynamic. It is said that the s type has all of the power. I full on disagree. This to me shows an inherent misunderstanding of D/s. The goal is power EXCHANGE. If one person has all of the power then there is no exchange, only control. And if that is coming from the s type then wouldn't it be topping from the bottom? I think there is a very delicate dance that has to happen. The D type has to also be vulnerable about their needs to the s type just as the s type needs to be open about their needs to the D type. In this exchange there is a flow of energy where no one should disappear or have to shrink to be held. And yes D types need holding, too. The job of the s type is to meet the needs of the D type and vice versa. Without that there is no D/s.
Thank you. I think you came around to understand what I was asking. (Although you did misunderstand my use of the word "owe") And what I read is, the D type should be or could be open about their needs, which also includes communication so that is another quality to bring to the dynamic. I think there is more but with this hopefully you understand the point of the question. |
|
|
|
subtlecyn(sub female)
|
1 month ago •
Dec 19, 2025
K y i v wrote: The language sounds transactional, I don't think she meant it to be.
I think of the relationship as symbiotic. Agreed I think both bring qualities to the exchange. Both may bring respect, communication and more... Obviously there is no one right answer but it's been something I've been thinking about on my journey. |
|
|
|
KimmyKatt(sub female)
|
1 month ago •
Dec 19, 2025
subtlecyn wrote: KimmyKatt wrote: A D type "owes" nothing and neither does the s type, in my opinion. However, with that being said there is an expectation of equal exchange in this dynamic. It is said that the s type has all of the power. I full on disagree. This to me shows an inherent misunderstanding of D/s. The goal is power EXCHANGE. If one person has all of the power then there is no exchange, only control. And if that is coming from the s type then wouldn't it be topping from the bottom? I think there is a very delicate dance that has to happen. The D type has to also be vulnerable about their needs to the s type just as the s type needs to be open about their needs to the D type. In this exchange there is a flow of energy where no one should disappear or have to shrink to be held. And yes D types need holding, too. The job of the s type is to meet the needs of the D type and vice versa. Without that there is no D/s.
Thank you. I think you came around to understand what I was asking. (Although you did misunderstand my use of the word "owe") And what I read is, the D type should be or could be open about their needs, which also includes communication so that is another quality to bring to the dynamic. I think there is more but with this hopefully you understand the point of the question. Yes, after reading the other comments I see that I misunderstood your aim here but apparently we are of the same mind! And yes, open and honest communication must be the bedrock. You got my drift. |
|
|
Miki
|
1 month ago •
Dec 20, 2025
It's just semantics. The word "owe" connotes a more formal or obligatory meaning.
|
|
|
intenseoldman(dom male)
|
1 month ago •
Dec 21, 2025
I think it's all been said. Dynamics are negotiated so what's expected is clear on both sides of the / What you owe each other is the good faith to live up to the expectations you agreed upon. More than a beating, I hope, and, if more, then it will be a challenge. From time to time, Doms and subs will fail, but if they fail in good faith, they can be restored, and they can grow. So, we owe our good faith to live up to what's expected of us on both sides of the /
That's not a transaction. That's a commitment. |
|
|
MidSummerDream(neither female){BothHold🗝}
|
4 weeks ago •
Dec 23, 2025
United as one, you stand together, owning and respecting each other through life's joys and challenges. You care for one another in sickness and in health, and together you navigate life's journey with integrity and lawfulness. Both individuals are equals, deserving of respect and humanity. A good mentor guides with patience, earning your heart and trust, understanding it can't be forced. Together, you work through challenges, including discipline, but it's rooted in love and care. True connection goes beyond fleeting moments, it's about building something meaningful and lasting, being cautious of who you trust, and being selective to create a bond that's strong and healthy. Peace ✌️
|
|
|
Anna Lynn(sub female)
|
4 weeks ago •
Dec 25, 2025
A genuine desire to lead and not just have control.
Love Dependability Honesty with themselves and those they are in a relationship with. The truth * acquired experience through knowledge and training and a desire for life long learning* The abiliry to actually create the type of dynamic they want. structure protocol |
|
|
Bunnie
|
3 weeks ago •
Dec 27, 2025
I think the only thing anyone “owes” anyone else, is to be who they say they are.
|
|
|