I'm completely new to all this, just asking a question.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 2, 2026

Good morning. The fine responses above cover the consent aspect. As always only play with a willing partner.

But that being the case, this is not unusual. As indicated, Hunter-Prey or whatever term you wish to use, is quite normal. Plenty of partners want to feel the chase and desire, and they want the struggle on both sides. It's as exciting to some prey as it is to the hunter, especially the wrestling and the "conquest".

As for how you feel about it, @Anna Lynn responded very well above. It's something you'll have to work through, but understand within "this community" what you're feeling isn't wrong. It's actually quite natural. For you, it might be like stepping into the shallows at the beach. It seems so deep until you realize there's a great big ocean beyond and you're barely stepped your toe in. You don't need to go any further as long as you're comfortable where you are.

Best of luck!
LL

SubStanChill​(sub male) • Jan 5, 2026

Try to worry less about whether your interest and actions are normal, and focus on your morals and principles. And yes consent is paramount. That said, with your partner, go a bit further and focus on trust. Ask your partner and yourself with every activity whether trust has been threatened.

Coming from a religious background, you may want to be extra vigilant and consider whether any new interest derives from trying to find a sexual loop hole or whether it’s a genuine kink. There’s not really a yes or no answer, just things we need to actively consider to ensure or motivations come from good place.

Max Heathen​(kinky male) • Jan 6, 2026

Normal is what we participate in without a guilty conscience. Once we cross a "moral/ethical" threshold that screams to our mind that we may have done a "wrong", we begin a journey of normalizing even when society may consider it differently. Kink and extreme, are but words that go against the social "norms" but to me, what I do is normal. To me, as a bisexual, sadist, masochist, and Master/Slave switch, many things are normal... though to you, it makes your face flush red, heart race and an inner struggle pursues. For you, it's a moral/ethical question. For me, it's consent from my partner, while trusting in the vetting process and writing everything out in a contract. Knowing your partners hard and soft limits are valuable as you move forward, just as it is to know your own.
What seems like something you would never do, today... May be something you participate in later because humans change with time and experience. We find that somethings are not as wrong as we delve into deeper questions and realize hidden truths.
From a religious standpoint of Christianity, using the scriptures in paraphrase: "what a husband and wife dose in the privacy of their own bed, is without sin." By the statement alone, it literally means anything so long as both are willing and consenting participants. So pegging, poly, primal and anything else that we are taught is a "sin"... Isn't between husband and wife.
Consent is the means whereby both parties agree to experiment, explore and play. From what you're original post states, it sounds like you want to bite, slap, choke, etc... as stated by another, it sounds like "primal play" or possibly it's "sadistic" because it's more than the action that arouses you. The sound of flesh against flesh, her scream or audible protest mixed with the struggle... To me it's normal. Hence I look for those whose Masochist meets my Sadist, my Primal meets their Prey, etc.
Talk to your partner. Find out what she's willing to do and you may have to guide her with yes and no questions because it sounds like you both are new to the sensations. Point out the things you've seen and experienced with her, then ask "would you like me to go further in those moments?" Then research and learn how to do these things safely.
Choking is erotic asphyxiation. Choke hold is simply a firm grip around the throat. If you simply go from choke hold onto choking, you can squeeze the arteries too long, too hard and cause a blood clot or worse. You can crush the windpipe or hold too long. If you're going to play rough, make it pleasurable for both you and her instead of having to explain it at a hospital and to a PD officer. Cage offers several ways to learn and I highly recommend looking for the information and practicing the methods and then staring light with your partner and build till they are at their threshold. Then learn the difference between stimulation/ prep play vs cold/ surprise play. While this sounds long and drawn out, once you know what fits best for you and her, your time will be left with fantastic memories and a desire for more as these things can bring people into a deep trust with one another.
Good luck and enjoy.

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jan 6, 2026

Asking a BDSM community what's normal is amusing if not hilarious. Heathen's answer, I like best. Whatever sex you and your partner have as long as it's safe, sane and consensual, is not to be judged.
That said, a man getting off on asserting his dominance, is about as normal as it gets as long as it's safe, sane and consensual.
Primal urges are real. Primal play is an exhilarating and cathartic release. If you're going to pursue dominance in the form of primal play, though, take care and responsibility to understand, not only your needs, but the needs of whomever consents to engage in such play with you. There's a lot to consider, and overlooking anything when you're caring for someone in their most vulnerable state... you'll live to regret. Look long and hard before you leap.
I wish you the best.

MagnificentOrange​(dom male) • Jan 6, 2026

Thank you all for your replies it's been both informative and validating, so thank you all. I'm definitely going to do more reading on the subject before I dive in, and perhaps I'll discover it's maybe not what I want, it's just the idea of it.

But I'm skeptical of this, frankly.

Thanks again.

Miss Anima​(dom female) • Jan 6, 2026

Do you're research