Question about Master/slave dynamics

Question about Master/slave dynamics

Anerion​(sub gender queer) • Jan 15, 2026

Greetings everyone ^^

I've recently talked with someone (more experienced than I on the matter) about Master/slave dynamics, and was curious as to if what I was told was what is usually expected in that kind of dynamic. Well, to at least hear about the various experiences there can be.

To sum it up, I was told that the slave is supposed to have no limits, and that there is no safeword (a hard 'no' being basically the end of the dynamic).
What I was told also included terminating personal and professional relationships if the Master requests it (again, no limits).

So, being someone who follows the SSC (Sane, Safe & Consensual) rule in BDSM, this seemed to me as something that easily risked crossing all 3.
I hope I'm not being disrespectful about this, but I'm simply curious to learn what people in a M/s dynamic think about this.

Thank you for taking the time to read and perhaps answer!

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • Jan 15, 2026

You are being told a great amount of pure crap.

There is no such thing as "no limits" slave. That bullshit is started by morons who have no idea of what they are doing and do not care. Abusers pure and simple. Plus, anyone who does not use a safeword is unsafe and should be buried in a very deep hole.

A M/s relationship is a very structured thing. It is the hardest one to due as it takes a great deal of work on both sides of the collar. If a Master/Mistress tell you they do not have to do any work, they are full of shit and need to changed like a used diaper.

I have been involved with a number of M/s relationships and I have never crossed the line of "no limits" ever.

And never will

Anerion​(sub gender queer) • Jan 15, 2026

Thank you for your answer! I didn't expect one so fierce haha, but I understand.
Could I ask what would be the difference between M/s and D/s then ? Because all I've been told was the difference I talked about (and maybe the 24/7 part).

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • Jan 15, 2026

Like any other relationship in the Lifestyle, it all depends on what the people in a given relationship defines it as.

For myself, A D/s relationship evolves into a M/s one once the collar is applied. With that action, the s type goes from sub to slave by becoming property.

In the early days, M/s was much more structured than D/s. Protocols, rituals, titles usage, and the like. But again, the people involved have to define what it means to them. that is where communication comes in.

The main thing is not to misconstrude being Sadistic/masochistic with a M/s relationship. S&M can happen everywhere, at any level, but is not really a core to M/s.

And, to be honest, neither is sex. But that is a whole other discussion.

Anerion​(sub gender queer) • Jan 15, 2026

Okay, I see, thank you again for sharing your point of view : )

I completely agree with you on the fact that what really matters is how "the people involved define what it means to them".

On the other hand I wonder if it might be seen as disrespectful to (publicly) use a label such as this one to refer to a relationship that doesn't fit the general definition as it is understood in the community, hence why I thought it might be important to know what the label means to the different people who use it.

TopekaDom​(dom male)​{Chaos } • Jan 15, 2026

The use of labels is, again, a whole other argument. Which will most likely never be settled.

As Obi-Wan says in "Return of the Jedi": Everything is true, from a certain point of view.

You are not going to be disrespectful if you say "X is how I do things". Now you are going to have people yell at you, saying "You aren't doing things right!" But, that is their Point of view.

Now take into case where I say "No limits slave is a pile of crap":

There are going to be those that say "He doesn't know what they are talking about". Which is their right, but I am willing to bet they have no experience in real life Lifestyle or are simply abusers, looking for more victims to lure in. However, from their view, they are right. On the other side, most of the people in the Lifestyle say people with that particular belief can go get fucked.

Anerion​(sub gender queer) • Jan 15, 2026

Hmm, I understand yeah. Thanks again, it’s very interesting to read your take on these things ^^

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Jan 15, 2026

I have a saying that I annoy people with. Labels are for soup cans not people. Just like soup, the contents varies with people. The chicken noodle soup in one can, can vary widely to the contents in the other can. Yep it's got chicken but what part? amount? and yep there is noodles but what type and how much? You can slap on a label that reads what ever you want but you really need to see the listed ingredients and recipe that made up the soup. People and labels are the same as soup cans...its just a general idea and descriptor of what's inside

As long as both parties agree on the contents of their relationship, then it works but those "labels" in BDSM are rarely the same and universal.

BUT...I say that ....and it would remiss of me if I didn't say this too.....you will also get a lot of old(er) Dom/mes that are more "old guard" in flavour and use the old (not irrelevant term if it is relevant to them and theirs or they are Leather family trained or orientated) that say/believe a Slave has no rights. That you are not a slave until owned as one. That is isn't a descriptor as you are submissive (single) and slave (owned collared property) that you enter the collaring with previous negotiation and terms and conditions are negotiated and you have no rights EXTERNAL to that..its kinda where the belief first came from.

but I'm with Topeka, just make sure you and yours are on the same page! It honestly doesn't matter what others think as long as your not telling others what to think! another annoying saying from me (coughs yes im full of them) BDSM is not a one size fits all!

if your trying to get on the same page I do like this resource to figure it out for YOURSELF this link is great page to get that conversation going or find the words to express what you want from your submission or how you could explain it to another...
its old ..and often© 1984, 1988 by Mistress Diane Vera as reprinted in
Pat Califia, ed. The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual (Boston: Lace / Alyson) pp. 69-71 Nine degrees of submission
often called old guard

https://collarncuffs.com/the-nine-degrees-of-submissionmission/ (Femdom only site. Only posting because I know its there)

Anna Lynn​(sub female) • Jan 16, 2026

I am sure that there are those who do claim to have no limits but I personally dont buy it.

I am a slave and when I served, I operated under the rule of absolute obedience. Therefore, when I chose who I wanted to serve, I chose the person whose limits matched my own as closely as possible.
I also had a safeword.

Every dynamic will look different based on the people involved and what is important to them.

Re: Question about Master/slave dynamics

turquoisinsilver​(dom male) • Jan 19, 2026

When someone talks that way to you, dear, they aren't being a Dom or even a Master. They are likely being a clinically certifiable narcissist, and as a retired counselor my advice is: RUN. RUN FAR. RUN FAST...and warn others about that person.

Others may point this out, but many self-declared "Doms" and "Masters" are mostly just assholes. So when someone says "no limits and I'll tell you who you can associate with, or what you can do with your life, then I feel the need to repeat myself. RUN. RUN FAR. RUN FAST.

Sir