Q&A

I have decided to place my questions here, that way all who want to participate can do so and I won’t be overwhelmed with emails giving out the same questions.

I have been working through my journey in BDSM, exploring, educating and experiencing different aspects in the BDSM lifestyle. Finding out what my likes are dislikes are, what I identify as and how to go about putting all together, my own BDSM lifestyle jigsaw puzzles. So my journey is finding all the pieces and putting them together.

I find myself asking questions to myself, finding the answers and understanding why I feel that way. Now I would like to know the same about others.

My first question:

Being either side of the slash, How did you know that is what you were Dominant, submissive, etc?

What made you realize it and how did you feel about it?

I think in this journey, it's natural to question your roll on occasion. For myself, I think back to when I was a pre-teen and I was doing "naughty" things with a neighbor. I know now that what we were doing was scening and I also know now that was the 'Top'. Here's the thing, I wasn't really the one in control. I was acting more in the capacity of a Service Top, or as Miss Bonnie once suggested that I get...a Dom by proxy (which is basicly the same thing to my understanding.).

Anyways, I look back at that experience occasionally and think, "Am I really a submissive or am I lying to myself?". It usually happens when someone *ELSE* tries to invalidate my BDSM belief system. When someone ELSE tries to tell ME what *I* am. Beyond those moments of self-reexamination, I never really questioned "am I Submissive or a Dominant". I formally came into the lifestyle after my marriage ended. In that marriage, I was the HOH within the home as per our culture. It was EXHAUSTING! It probably didn't help that he did not shoulder his role OUTSIDE the home, as our culture demanded. So when I came into the lifestyle, I relished the submissive role!

Thank you for asking the question and I can't wait for more. !

#StayCurious

The world will always step on and walk all over anyone not strong enough to resist. I lead when commands aren't needed, I command when leading doesnt work, and I take charge over any potential consensual partner