Chat behavior and new people not reading the rules

As a pretty regular visitor to said chat room, I tried to be offended by the dive bar analogy, but it’s not entirely off base.

There are times when I leave the lobby only to be in my side room, with the tools to control who has access to me.

But, the things that make it a dive bar, won’t change if the stronger voices that won’t sleaze up the place more, refuse to even try to engage.

I understand that point, but I see it a bit differently. I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the stronger or more respectful voices to regulate the crowd. Choosing not to participate isn’t surrendering the space, it’s deciding not to spend time and energy in an environment that isn’t enjoyable.

That stance is simply a “not my monkeys, not my circus” situation. If a room consistently requires adults to police other adults just to have a decent conversation, I’d rather spend my time elsewhere.

Interesting perspective. I would find the internet a very empty and lonely place if I shared it. I would rather make the spaces enjoyable than turn a blind eye.

I feel like with my thread I gave a very wrong impression of the chat to some of the people
At least in my opinion it's generally very civil. Partially because the majority of participants are decent. Partially because this majority in a way does enforce good behavior whenever they encounter occasional bad eggs or just new people that skipped reading the rules.

I made the "sleaze bar" analogy as a comment on what I saw posted early on.

Speaking only for myself, I do not like chatting or by extension, showing up in chat rooms anywhere, not just here, so reading the early posts had zero effect on my personal choice in this area.

Now then, I merely meant to point out that those who do like the chat room can be more put off by the atmosphere in the "lobby" than they would be about some rules, or guidelines being posted more prominently. Kind of like Employees Must Wash Hands before Returning to Work signs in the shithouse.

Sometimes you just need to put up larger signage to properly enlighten some individuals.


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@darlingdiana -- Thanks... But FYI -- I do not have a blog!
People see enough of my often eccentric wit on these forum boards !!

I am new to the site. I have a very different experience of the chat room.
I used it to introduce myself and have made a few friends as a result.
I have witnessed said behaviours in chat rooms over the years, regrettably it’s the nature of the beast.
Pond life will always migrate to these communal areas. I was reassured by the recent actions of the Cages room users calling out one of these clowns recently who took the hint.
Self policing works well so I’m all for taking bad behaviour to task, if we as a community use this approach then the predators sex pests etc will take flight.
I continue to drop in from time to time there, it can be quite fun.

Agree with most of this, not a frequent trader of the chat but is strange to see seeking and occasional sexting in there.

Only thing I'd disagree with is DMs; in the sense that unless stated in your profile you're not accepting DMs (in which case, absolutely they shouldn't) how are people supposed to introduce themselves?
Doesn't mean you're entitled to say w/e you want ofc, but I don't see the problem with an introduction and waiting to see if they respond or not.

In a perfect world everyone would follow the rules, but only so much they can really do to enforce things beyond a ban hammer and punishment.