unsatisfiable cravings

unsatisfiable cravings

noviceslavedavid​(sub male) • Oct 31, 2018

Hi,

I am wondering if this is just me or if this happens to many men. I have long fantasized about and have growing cravings for submission to a dominant woman in real life. To serve and obey and to be controlled by Her even if it means hypnosis and mind control. That Dommes tend to be either too far away or too expensive or just plain unavailable doesn't seem to matter.. I can't get this out of my mind. I feel a need for an FLR and to become a pet.

I especially love hypnosis where my mind is bent to Her will.

if any of you have been in this situation, how do you deal with the urges? Do any of you feel as i do?

davidnh (submissive male)

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 31, 2018

Dominant Women Seeking
Submissive Men
75
Submissive Men Seeking
Dominant Women
546

you need to open accounts with other site....

why other site?

noviceslavedavid​(sub male) • Oct 31, 2018

why is this site not enough/

Phanes​(dom male) • Oct 31, 2018

David what Fab was telling you is that you ought to check out the personals on this site.

noviceslavedavid​(sub male) • Nov 1, 2018

I have, even have an ad up on submissive men seeking dominant women. so far they are all far away.

Phanes​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2018

It's not going to happen overnight. It may take some time before you come across someone close enough to work with you. Patience is a virtue

Re: why other site?

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2018

you need to search on other bdsm website, go to events in your area?

EnforcedBliss​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2018

Hi David

Look man, I'm new to this so I may be talking out of my ass but that's never stopped me before.

If you look around you'll find that there are lots of people like you. Lots of guys feel that pull. I'm not one of them but c'est la vie. There is nothing unusual about you. Reach out to people, send them polite - non-sexual - intro notes. If you send out a hundred you may get 10 responses and end up actually talking to only two or three of those, but they lead you to other people and so on. The nice thing about online is that being anonymous helps to mitigate some of the shame and or discomfort that we newly emerging may feel in the real world. Keep at it David, you'll get there.

Here is the bad news. From looking around it seems to me that the four most basic groups, broken down by size, go Dom males ---> sub females ---> sub males ---> Dommes.

Just like there aren't enough sub females to feed all of the Dom males there aren't enough Dommes to feed off of all of the sub males, so it will likely take you some time.

Use that time to learn about you, the role you've identified with and to just meet people. I've found everyone here here to be very nice and willing to help a respectful newcomer. And the more people you let get to know you the easier you'll find things.

There seems to be an invisible vetting system in the scene where people talk about people because there are safety concerns amongst others. I've already used one of my friends as a reference when another person was potentially interested but reluctant to talk. And I'm very happy that I could do that because the reluctant one is a really cool lady with a slicing sense of humour.

Check out the chat room and engage there, let people get to know you in real time (I'm not sure what chat protocols are for subs, or if there even are any, so hopefully someone better versed than me can weigh in - actually I'm curious about that myself.) So maybe read for a while, find one or two that you think you'd get along with and message them and ask just to be sure.) I believe there are rules regarding subs contacting Doms so stick to subs for now. But since I've contacted you, you can most certainly contact me

Best of luck to you buddy, hope all goes well for you!

noviceslavedavid​(sub male) • Nov 1, 2018

I am wondering.. would it be worth paying for premium membership? I am on basic free membership now.

I have incidentally tried Fetlife and am still on it. gone to some munches where I couldn't get any woman to talk to me for more than a couple minutes.. the hi how are you stuff. Most of the women there are sub and many seem to want to give out or take physical pain the bdsm stuff-- a no no for me. So I am stepping back from that community for a while.

thank you for your kind words and encouragement Enforced Bills.

EnforcedBliss​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2018

Whether you pay or not it is up to you. I wanted to be able to chat with anyone I thought seemed interesting and found out that guests can't message guests. Since I wanted to meet people to learn from I figured this site was useless to me without premium. There are other things that come with it but that was the big one for me. EnforcedBliss unpaid and enthusiastic shill for the Cage since about 4 days ago lol.

My experience has been, and it will be echoed by pretty much anyone you ask, is put all of the sexual / lifestyle stuff to the back of your mind when ytou are meeting. It is no different than any other setting, you want to be engaging and interesting as a person first. If you aren't then they'll never stick around long enough to know you as anything else.

And, like I said, you are part of a comparatively small group. Depending on the size of your community you may be the only sub male at the meet. Talk to the sub women. You don't want them and they don't want you so that hurdle is gone. Make friends and, like I said before, those friends will lead to friends. I'm learning that people want to see sincerity and commitment and effort before they will open a crack in the door, but once you have the crack, getting it to open further becomes much easier. Be patient, and don't try to force things man. I know that is tough to do (my God how I know!) but it will serve you best.