Is BDSM an induced illusion or a concealed reality?

I asked myself this question many times.
Are my fantasies influenced by porn?Or is it obvious that it lies within me?

Even though I am in a place where I cannot do things freely, I have made many efforts to experience this life.( BDSM and its fantasies)

Are only the masters and mistress seeking wealth?

I would be happy to know all your opinions on this matter.

I think you’re being a bit vague to the point that the body of the post doesn’t seem to align with the title.

Can you clarify what you’re getting at?

It can be both feeding on each other it lies with you and it is influenced by your experiences.

You've said & asked different things that don't go together. What do you really want to know?

Personally, I don't waste time watching porn - it's not helpful in real life.

What's wealth got to do with BDSM?

This is not germane to the topic, but I'm posting this to explain that I have known that dude (Arta6969) for several years now via DM and Bond (platonic).

Through it all I have had to carefully read what he writes because he speaks near-zero English. He told me that he uses Google Translate in these communications, or its equivalent over in Iran, and what he tries to say comes through as occasionally stiff and/or literal. Farsi to English and back aren't one of the easier translations, either, I tend to think, but that's neither here nor there.

While I can't know what he was thinking as he posed the question, I will bet a sandwich that what posted was not precisely what he wants to say.

Arta6969 joined Cage just under a month after I did ---(I joined November 30, 2017) ---and what we are all seeing is his very first post to the Forums in all these years so what I have to go on is several years of friendly messaging.

Grain of Salt time, guys and dolls!

MM

Thanks for the clarification. That makes much more sense.

Good morning Arta6969,

It's the age old question: which came first - the chicken or the egg? In the same fashion, does porn impact your desires or does your desire impact what you watch?

Both. You start because you either feel something or it caught your eye. And then you look it up and see perhaps a video. Then the video brings you to another video of something similar but different. And you like that too, although you didn't consider it before. Until you are made aware of something, you don't know it exists. Some things you may find not to your liking but others you will enjoy.

In other words, many of it lies inside you, dormant. Once you know it exists, you might like it. Or you might not. Some people enjoy the fantasy of a dream but don't want to actually experience it first hand. But follow the cautionary tale: don't let watching porn rule you. It can be quite visually addictive.

We all seek wealth in our own unique way. But what is wealth is defined by each of us differently. I consider health and intelligence to be my wealth (and there would be some who say I'm not that wealthy then 😁). Others seek fame. Considering where you live, maybe you would think peace would be wealth. I know that would be good for all. Others seek monetary means such as money. So we all seek something, not just the Masters and Mistresses. In relation to relationships, anyone who is seeking "money" as the main force of their relationship causes me to worry about their motives.

Thank you for writing your Forum post. I hope you write more.

I think this is a complex question and I will do my best to answer.

I think BDSM is a very natural expression of sexuality and deep psychological desires more than environment or exposure [to porn]. For many people it is about being known and accepted as they are.

Clear communication provides the foundation. If you are unable to practice in person because of the environment you are in, you can only communicate/practice BDSM online, and you also have the difficulty of language translations, I suspect it would be very hard to establish the genuine relationship or dynamic you may be seeking.

My experience is that finances have little to do with forming a connection; it is about compatibility as people as well as sexual preferences.

Just know, that BDSM, when practiced responsibly, consensually and safely, is a completely healthy and valid expression of yourself and your sexuality.

I hope I have responded to your question and makes sense in translation.

Like a few others have said, you've asked several questions, some of which seem to be contradictory:

1. Your fantasies may be influenced by porn, if that's what you've seen and experienced, but that doesn't mean that BSDM is an illusion by any means. I think that most porn is an expression of real people's kinks somewhere, even if it seems a little obscure. My friend recently said that she "thinks everyone is kinky," and I tend to agree. So it probably comes from within you. A lot of popular porn movies are just made from common kinks: foot fetish, domination, submission, leather, cuckolding, etc. Porn can help people discover their kinks/fetishes too, so maybe that's what it is in your case - you didn't know you had these kinks until you saw them expressed in porn.

2. As for the master/mistress question, I don't think they're necessarily seeking wealth at all. It's part of BDSM relationships, and in a healthy such relationship, it's not about seeking wealth. It's about mutual sexual pleasure for both parties, although there are "findom" (financial domination) sexual relationships in which a submissive (sub) gives gifts or money to their dom. Even so, this is done with the consent of each partner; it's not about simply looking for money.

I would tend more toward thinking that it's a "concealed reality," as you put it, than an illusion. And I think that a lot of people who claim that they're not kinky just don't want to talk about their kinks publicly, or are ashamed of it.