Just A Touch

I've been on this site for a while and I like the type of content (from people to professional) it offers. I love expressing myself with my stories and I think I would like to dive in a little deeper as a submissive, but I am not a social person at all. I would love to bring out my inner bombshell I just don't know where to start.

What were your first experiences like being involved in BDSM and how did you finally become fully comfortable with your partner or partners?

I don’t recall the exact moment. But I do remember a year in my early 20s when I just started experimenting with everything sexual. I had a couple of partners who were open to different forms of play.

I had one partner who revealed that she was a natural sub and liked it rough. I revealed that I was also a sub and loved humiliation. So we just took turns switching roles for each other.

We ultimately parted ways on good terms but I look fondly on it. Two people Exploring this world with fresh eyes as kindred spirits.

My submission basically started decades ago without realizing that's what it was. I took on a job where I was the only man with 30 women and I had to take care of everything they needed. Of course, this was totally a non BDSM or sexual position, but I felt at ease being told what to do.

After being in our vanilla marriage for years, my wife introduced the dynamic of a Femdom marriage. We researched it and I agreed to allow her to train me. To my surprise, she took the time to do it methodically and today I enjoy being a 24/7 sub both in & out of the bedroom and both in public & in private. Without question, I am "at the point of no return" and will always be a submissive.

As for being comfortable, don't worry, it will come naturally over time. I was nervous at my first event, but everyone made me comfortable in a short time. So far, I getting comfortable with my partner too - we'll be married 54 years next month.

Long long time ago...I watched a French movie, made in 1975, called "Story of O" - around mid 80s.

Although some of the concepts are dated (perhaps), it was seriously erotic. Tells the story of a girl's journey through submission.

That's what got me started.

A must watch for anyone into the softer Dom/sub dynamic, with high protocols - which is what I'm into.

The film is, assuming its the 1975 version, based on the book, written by Anne Desclos, in 1954, as a result of a challenge, from her then lover, employer, that no woman could write an erotic novel. Story of O was highly controversial at the time, and the publisher was taken to court for breaking obsenity laws.

While I agree its very high protocol, I think, its fairly extreme, in what happens, and any idea of negotiation, or consent, is lacking, bar leave if you want, stay and all that happens happens.

This film, was, in part, the spark that lit my fire, the aesthetics, look being what influenced me, though these days I have moved in a different direction. There is also a 10 part Brazilian TV mini series, that does more justice to the book.

In between there is another film, Story of O Chapter 2, very 80s in look, which influenced me to write a novella based on characters in that film, I have been working on it for years, on and off.

It is the same.

I found the sequels, I think there were two of those, a little comical.

The original movie hasn't aged in terms of many of the critical things that make submission safe. However, I found things like consent that I find lacking, some of submissives that watched it said they thought it was implied. Is that enough? Not sure.

I still thought many of the concepts erotic - from a man's and Dom's perspective. I know two of the submissive that I watched the movie with (recently) found it extremely arousing. I hated the branding scene, yet one of the submissives wanted something similar.

That's what makes the world an interesting place.

The Brazilian mini-series was very good, but probably tried to be a little more modern in its attitudes - I think it was released in the 90s.

Appreciate your comments. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was influenced by this movie.

Another good one is another French movie - something like Claire, Desires of Submission - again some confronting topics.

Hi Vikky,

Everyone’s entry to BDSM is so vastly different, and it really depends on what works for you and your context. It’s a hard and very personal thing to navigate that journey between conception, investigation, exploration and practice.

I’ve loved and learnt from all my experiences but was one of those ‘discovered later and dived right in’ people, and did so with enthusiasm and naivety- exploring, reflecting and learning while in it. Others I know are much more sensible in the ‘learning and then doing’ with intention, responsibility and care.

I always had desire and inclinations for expressing sexuality outside the norms, just never discovered the world of BDSM as a way of life until it was presented to me by someone at a time where I was in need of being opened up that way. It was in-person and a whirlwind of kink frenzy before I started to develop a stronger sense of self, conceptual understanding and discernment as well as good self awareness and protective behaviours.

It was after a few years of exploration, learning and practice before I developed better understanding of what I needed and wanted, and was able to mature in a way that attracted what was healthy and nourishing for me, which then made me more fulfilled, open and available for deeper exchange. At this point, BDSM became very psychological and spiritual for me.

My initial entry was in-person and physical, which taught me a lot about scenes and acts in physical proximity and my interests and responses there. My LDR dynamics, particularly my most recent, special and long-lasting, really developed my understanding of the psychology, intimacy and depth of D/s power exchange and connection.

Also, so many of us, myself included, are introverted/not social. There are many community landscapes that provide access for the non-peopling people, such as this platform. In pursuing or being open to connecting with partners, I recommend a high level of diligence with establishing a safety network of trusted people and safety practices, such as vetting and communication skills specific to relationships and BDSM. Finding experienced, quality and ethical educators to read, listen and follow is always a good way to get informed as well as understand yourself and your own journey. I’m also a big fan of journaling as a way of reflecting and processing.

Enjoy 😊