What Does Dom/me/sub Mean to You?

What Does Dom/me/sub Mean to You?

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Nov 20, 2018

Just curious as I learn and grow and see more of the lifestyle. I'm wanting to hear everyone's opinion on this.

If you're a Dom/me, what does it mean to /you/ to be dominant? And maybe, what do you look for in/expect from a sub?

If you're a sub, what does it mean to /you/ to be submissive? And what do you look for in/expect from a Dom/me?

I'm sure this may have been posted before, but I didn't really see it, and even still, perhaps breathing new life into the subject will be good.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Nov 20, 2018

There are many layers to answering the question of what it means to me to be a Master.

On the Practical side being able to make decisions that are joyfully respected gives me a sense of stability and security.

On the emotional side coming to terms with the identity of Master all of a sudden gave me answers as to what I had been feeling for years. It gave me a way to take control in a healthy way that work for both me and my partner.


It also gave me the ability to be confident in life and in my relationships. And gave me a very intimate view of how power exchange works. I took that understanding and applied it to pretty much everything that I did. It helped calm and defuse difficult situations on the job. It helped explain why people were acting the way that they did. It broadened my understanding of human interactions tenfold.


What I want from an S type is different than what I want for my love. But I have a few basic pieces. One they have to bring something to my table. Two I have to feel a connection. 3 they have to be emotionally honest. 4 I have to trust them. 5 they have to have an innate and visceral sense of service without drama.

Resilient Pearl​(other female){Protected} • Nov 20, 2018

@Dark Fox:

I’ll go out on a limb here and say, “I don’t know, yet.”

I’m still sorting out some interpersonal contradictions as they relate to dominant vs. submissive tendencies and where I ‘fall’ on the spectrum.

For example, the image of my hand pushing the back of a service top’s head down between my legs is as appealing to me as being tied up, pinned down, ... (and I just spilled my coffee...).

There are definitely some dominant undertones inherent to other proclivities: the desire to watch my partner fuck other people while I service myself, for example.

I’m sure I’ve not answered your question, but I wanted to reply.

- RP

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Nov 21, 2018

Enjoying the responses so far Its helpful to see how others feel on the subject. When I have more time i may respond myself Haha.

Re: What Does Dom/me/sub Mean to You?

J7en{Nope} • Nov 22, 2018

Canadian​(dom male) • Dec 12, 2018

The dynamic can be taken many ways depending on each individual but to me at the end of the day it means having respect for one another yet still be equals.

Such as myself who likes to have control, power, say etc. with tasks, desires and so on I know at he end of the day it’s her desires I work towards and push.

It’s suposednto be fun and exciting to give up control or to have that control within reason.

Not sure if this makes complete sense but that’s how I look at it.

Phanes​(dom male) • Dec 13, 2018

Dom - Italian mobster kingpin
Domme - Italian mobster's Mom
Sub - a foot long hoagie sandwich

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Dec 13, 2018

Phanes - I wish we had emojis for likes as FB does, so I could have responded with a laughing emoji instead. XD