wittle one
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2 years ago •
Jun 1, 2022
DDLG to help heal trauma
Hello, I was wondering if anyone has experience with ddlg? From the perspective of dom or sub could you tell me if you have witnessed it help someone who endured childhood abuse? Or just improve their mental health - even if they haven’t experience a severe trauma?
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Online now
SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Jun 1, 2022
Yup! It's a wonderful way to reconnect to your innocence, to feel the emotions we have had to set aside in order to survive, to regain lost memories (iiiif the little side decides to cough them up! *Looks at my little...* "yeah, I'm talking to YOU little girl...") and to relearn how to play! For me, that is difficult.
But you can't just depend on your little to heal. You HAVE to be in therapy. A Dom/Daddy can't do the healing for you, only be there to provide encouragement and a place of emotional safety...IF he is the right Daddy for you. Not every Daddy is the right Daddy. |
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RogueWolf(dom male){Gaiawolf}
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2 years ago •
Jun 1, 2022
There's a reason it's called Daddy issues. Most of the littles I've known have had trauma of one description or another or just a crappy childhood. So they choose to "regress" for want of a better word to have a good one. One that they chose, one that is how they want it... and as SirsBabyDoll states.. having the right Daddy helps a heck of a lot. Learn how to be who you want to be, not what someone else wants you to be.
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Jun 1, 2022
If a person has suffered from childhood trauma, they need to seek profession help to learn how to deal with those experiences in a healthy way and not rely on DDLG as the only way of dealing with past traumas. I'm not trying to infer that is what the intention of the original post was stating...not at all. DDLG can be a tool at some point, but it's best to consult the person's therapist before engaging in those activities. A therapist can determine if the "little" is emotionally strong enough to engage in that roll play and advise the "Daddy," or "Mommy," on the "littles" limits, how to spot "red flags," and how to deal if things go "sideways."
Can it improve mental health? A lot of people, professional and non-professional, say yes, but both the "Daddy" and the "little" need to be aware of the pitfalls like suppressed memories coming to the surface and other triggers that can make things worse. If anyone reading this was a victim of childhood trauma and has not dealt with it in a healthy manner .... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO SEE A PROFESSIONAL. A good mental health professional is well versed in the majority of BDSM facets and many list themselves as Kink Aware Professionals. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Jun 2, 2022
moll wrote: If a person has suffered from childhood trauma, they need to seek profession help to learn how to deal with those experiences in a healthy way and not rely on DDLG as the only way of dealing with past traumas. I'm not trying to infer that is what the intention of the original post was stating...not at all. DDLG can be a tool at some point, but it's best to consult the person's therapist before engaging in those activities. A therapist can determine if the "little" is emotionally strong enough to engage in that roll play and advise the "Daddy," or "Mommy," on the "littles" limits, how to spot "red flags," and how to deal if things go "sideways."
Can it improve mental health? A lot of people, professional and non-professional, say yes, but both the "Daddy" and the "little" need to be aware of the pitfalls like suppressed memories coming to the surface and other triggers that can make things worse. If anyone reading this was a victim of childhood trauma and has not dealt with it in a healthy manner .... PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE GO SEE A PROFESSIONAL. A good mental health professional is well versed in the majority of BDSM facets and many list themselves as Kink Aware Professionals. I was super lucky. Mine was Kink Aware and I didn't even look for her! 🤣 I was able to be very open with her about kink, my little, my middle, shared my blogs with her and everything. It was beautiful! Someone who has a little also has an adult and that adult is the responsible "parent" (for lack of a better analogy). If the intent is to use the Little to heal, then it also means the adult has to be the "single parent" and be the parent that we never had. It builds self-trust because trusting OURSELVES and our decision making abilities is part of healing. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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2 years ago •
Jun 2, 2022
SirsBabyDoll wrote: I was super lucky. Mine was Kink Aware and I didn't even look for her! 🤣 I was able to be very open with her about kink, my little, my middle, shared my blogs with her and everything. It was beautiful! Are you satisfied you've resolved the issues that drove you into therapy in the first place? Having been married to one of my three dominants - who was a licensed clinical psychologist as well as a licensed hypnotherapist and psychiatrist - I was exposed to an invigorating and healing personal experience but it was a 24/7 immersion so I'm uncertain how "hit and miss" therapy works with a not fully involved third party. How do you feel it benefitted you in any way without the person actually interacting with you in your preferred kink role? I'm curious how an "at a distance" thing like that benefits anyone successfully and comfortably. Thanks in advance for any insight!
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Jun 2, 2022
Spellbound Wytch wrote: SirsBabyDoll wrote: I was super lucky. Mine was Kink Aware and I didn't even look for her! 🤣 I was able to be very open with her about kink, my little, my middle, shared my blogs with her and everything. It was beautiful! Are you satisfied you've resolved the issues that drove you into therapy in the first place? Having been married to one of my three dominants - who was a licensed clinical psychologist as well as a licensed hypnotherapist and psychiatrist - I was exposed to an invigorating and healing personal experience but it was a 24/7 immersion so I'm uncertain how "hit and miss" therapy works with a not fully involved third party. How do you feel it benefitted you in any way without the person actually interacting with you in your preferred kink role? I'm curious how an "at a distance" thing like that benefits anyone successfully and comfortably. Thanks in advance for any insight!My therapy with her was interrupted for insurance reasons, however, at one point she was taking some continuing education classes surrounding trauma and asked my permission to present one of my blogs to the class. It was quite humbling. Having been in therapy on and off since I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I can tell you that with HER, I made the most progress. There is always going to be something to learn about yourself, especially as a trauma survivor. So long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. During the height of Covid, my mother (who was my abuser), went to therapy. There she discovered that she has C-PTSD (I coulda told her THAT!) and made a blanket apology to me. It took me WEEKS to reply back to her. Hopefully, I was able to reply back with grace. She had asked me if I had heard of it ("um, yeah, because you caused it."). I encouraged her to return. I PERSONALLY do not believe you ever fully heal. You learn how to adjust to working WITH your triggers, accepting them, learning the why's and when's and how to manage life with them. It's wonderful to be able to find a therapist you connect with but the reality is, sometimes, you just want to rip their skin off in slow, painful ways. I can't tell you how many times I had screamed at her, wanted to storm out of the office and tell her to fuck off and never return. Those are the good ones. Those are the ones you know are reaching into you, plucking that too sensative string, and are making you face what you have worked so hard to ignore. They are gems....yes, sometimes with sharp, pointy bits, but gems none the less. |
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Jun 3, 2022
[quote="SirsBabyDoll"][quote="Spellbound Wytch"]
SirsBabyDoll wrote: My therapy with her was interrupted for insurance reasons, however, at one point she was taking some continuing education classes surrounding trauma and asked my permission to present one of my blogs to the class. It was quite humbling. Having been in therapy on and off since I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I can tell you that with HER, I made the most progress. There is always going to be something to learn about yourself, especially as a trauma survivor. So long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. During the height of Covid, my mother (who was my abuser), went to therapy. There she discovered that she has C-PTSD (I coulda told her THAT!) and made a blanket apology to me. It took me WEEKS to reply back to her. Hopefully, I was able to reply back with grace. She had asked me if I had heard of it ("um, yeah, because you caused it."). I encouraged her to return. I PERSONALLY do not believe you ever fully heal. You learn how to adjust to working WITH your triggers, accepting them, learning the why's and when's and how to manage life with them. It's wonderful to be able to find a therapist you connect with but the reality is, sometimes, you just want to rip their skin off in slow, painful ways. I can't tell you how many times I had screamed at her, wanted to storm out of the office and tell her to fuck off and never return. Those are the good ones. Those are the ones you know are reaching into you, plucking that too sensative string, and are making you face what you have worked so hard to ignore. They are gems....yes, sometimes with sharp, pointy bits, but gems none the less. WOW...Sir'sBabyDoll. Even though you haven't reveled any details, it takes a lot of courage to share what you did. I'm not going to claim that I have a vast knowledge of psychology due to the fact that my mom is a mental health professional, nor will I claim expertise of legal matters because my dad is an attorney. Most of my knowledge is what I call "second hand," but the one thing that I am certain of is that therapy is work...hard work and can only have any success if the patient, not only connects with a therapist, but also builds trust and does the hard work. Even though the old stigmatism of "people who go to 'shrinks' are raving lunatics" is no longer a belief, there is still a misconception that going to a therapist will some how "fix" the person. It won't "fix" anyone and it won't undue the trauma, unfortunately that is something that the person will have to live with, but yes, they can learn to deal with the trauma and the triggers, and find healthy ways cope and live a healthier life. I'm hoping that you are now at a point in your life that is healthier....by your writing, I find that to be the situation. |
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SirsBabyDoll(sub female){Pizza+☕}
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2 years ago •
Jun 3, 2022
[quote="moll"][quote="SirsBabyDoll"]
Spellbound Wytch wrote: SirsBabyDoll wrote: My therapy with her was interrupted for insurance reasons, however, at one point she was taking some continuing education classes surrounding trauma and asked my permission to present one of my blogs to the class. It was quite humbling. Having been in therapy on and off since I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I can tell you that with HER, I made the most progress. There is always going to be something to learn about yourself, especially as a trauma survivor. So long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other. During the height of Covid, my mother (who was my abuser), went to therapy. There she discovered that she has C-PTSD (I coulda told her THAT!) and made a blanket apology to me. It took me WEEKS to reply back to her. Hopefully, I was able to reply back with grace. She had asked me if I had heard of it ("um, yeah, because you caused it."). I encouraged her to return. I PERSONALLY do not believe you ever fully heal. You learn how to adjust to working WITH your triggers, accepting them, learning the why's and when's and how to manage life with them. It's wonderful to be able to find a therapist you connect with but the reality is, sometimes, you just want to rip their skin off in slow, painful ways. I can't tell you how many times I had screamed at her, wanted to storm out of the office and tell her to fuck off and never return. Those are the good ones. Those are the ones you know are reaching into you, plucking that too sensative string, and are making you face what you have worked so hard to ignore. They are gems....yes, sometimes with sharp, pointy bits, but gems none the less. WOW...Sir'sBabyDoll. Even though you haven't reveled any details, it takes a lot of courage to share what you did. I'm not going to claim that I have a vast knowledge of psychology due to the fact that my mom is a mental health professional, nor will I claim expertise of legal matters because my dad is an attorney. Most of my knowledge is what I call "second hand," but the one thing that I am certain of is that therapy is work...hard work and can only have any success if the patient, not only connects with a therapist, but also builds trust and does the hard work. Even though the old stigmatism of "people who go to 'shrinks' are raving lunatics" is no longer a belief, there is still a misconception that going to a therapist will some how "fix" the person. It won't "fix" anyone and it won't undue the trauma, unfortunately that is something that the person will have to live with, but yes, they can learn to deal with the trauma and the triggers, and find healthy ways cope and live a healthier life. I'm hoping that you are now at a point in your life that is healthier....by your writing, I find that to be the situation. Moll honey, I've spoken about my abuse in my blogs quite often. It's no secret. What do you want to know? My therapist once asked me about my reasons and ability to share my story. She was trying to find out about my "shame" level as well as my privacy level. I told her that for many reasons, I felt no shame in talking about my abuse. First, I've spoken so often about it that it doesn't phase me any more. I've been in therapy for a hundred decades it seems so really, I'm numb to the experience of talking about it. More importantly though, I feel no shame in my abuse because I had no choice. I was a child. I'm blameless, and if talking about it helps someone else heal, bonus points. |
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moll(other female){owned slav}
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2 years ago •
Jun 3, 2022
[quote="SirsBabyDoll"][quote="moll"][quote="SirsBabyDoll"][quote="Spellbound Wytch"]
SirsBabyDoll wrote: Moll honey, I've spoken about my abuse in my blogs quite often. It's no secret. What do you want to know? My therapist once asked me about my reasons and ability to share my story. She was trying to find out about my "shame" level as well as my privacy level. I told her that for many reasons, I felt no shame in talking about my abuse. First, I've spoken so often about it that it doesn't phase me any more. I've been in therapy for a hundred decades it seems so really, I'm numb to the experience of talking about it. More importantly though, I feel no shame in my abuse because I had no choice. I was a child. I'm blameless, and if talking about it helps someone else heal, bonus points. Sir'sBabydoll.....I get that you are comfortable writing about your experiences and that you have been dealing with it for quite some time, but in my point of view...it's a courageous act and it should be applauded. |
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