Know Her Place

Know Her Place

lambsone • Jan 3, 2024

I see this in a lot of Dominant profiles. Dominants, what is your idea of a sub or slave knowing her place? What are you thinking about when you add this in your profile? I'm guilty of assuming things, so I thought I'd better hear an explanation directly from the horse's mouth. Help me visualize this concept, because I'm thinking that it must be important since so many Doms have it in their profiles.

Thanks in advance.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Jan 3, 2024

Intriguing thought. What is “her place”? It depends entirely upon the dynamic relationship - as each one is unique and different.

To me, it just feels like saying this in one’s profile is probably announcing they want a doormat to show up and intuitively know how to submit since they cannot bother to actually develop their own dominant role. It’s nonsense to me, as I would never place in my profile how you or anyone else should be.

But for visualization, it feels like someone is saying, “When you show up to converse with me, prepare to kneel before I’ve earned it.”

I could be wrong. And I could be just a tad feisty in the moment. Need to go burn off energy I guess.

All the best today!

Sweet Minx​(sub female){NotLooking} • Jan 3, 2024

Im not a dom and of course every dynamic will be different but i suspect in general terms it means respect and obedience. Whether or not that's 24/7 or your opinions are welcomed, would be a discussion for you 2 behind closed doors. I would venture a guess that in a Master and slave dynamic that it would be more structured and strict also.
That being said, there's "doms" who mail and expect you to obey them and worship them when you are literal strangers. To me, they are on an ego trip and trying to take whatever they can. Just my 2 cents.
I should shhh before I get myself in trouble 😇

lambsone • Jan 3, 2024

Thank you for your thoughts Literate Lican and SnowMinx.

I hope more dominants respond who have this in their profiles so that potential submissives will know what to expect. I won't condemn or shame anyone's reasons. I'm not here to argue anyone's point, just to be enlightened in knowing more about the Dominant mindset.

Thanks

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Jan 4, 2024

Not surprisingly, I agree with my friend LL. And to elaborate a little on the reasons someone might write the line about "a sub or slave knowing her place":

- As a substitute for establishing an actual Dominant role.
A sub's "place" depends entirely on the nature of the dynamic. More than that, a sub is a reflection of her Dom and as such their shared place will be specific to them, therefore as different as any which is not shared by the same pair (or group). There may be similarities to other dynamics of course but to say that a sub must be prepared to occupy a ready-made position is characterizing their dynamic as a cliche.

- Due to sheer laziness.
If the sub enters the dynamic and, knowing her "place" assumes what she believes to be her duties and responsibilities, acts in ways that she believes are best, perhaps even those that she has experienced in prior dynamics, and then tells her Dom that he may now begin to do his big boy Dom thing - could one not reasonably question which is in fact the dominant party?

- Out of simple ignorance.
Those who would wish to be identified and accepted as dominant; who believe that enhancing their names with superlatives like or 'Master' and 'Dom', and peppering their profiles with phrases such as 'Alpha male' and 'My sub must know her place' in an attempt to be persuasive or convincing are neither.
As has been said many times: If you must announce that you are a Dom - you're not.

- To target naive subs.
There are weasels everywhere in the world, including every social website, seeking out the newest, most vulnerable prey. Places like this are no different except that here we have new subs who fall victim to their own ideals of hierarchies and protocols, often leading them to unwittingly believe that anyone wearing a cape emblazoned with a pretentious capital "D" must be considered superior. The wannadoms in their costumes know this too, and sometimes they put those lines in their profiles so that, to the new sub who doesn't know better, "knowing her place" not only seems realistic, it feels right.

- Maybe they think they are supposed to?
Profiles can be scary things, especially the first time you write one. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing "a Dom is supposed to sound like..." and start copying and pasting random selections from the Book of Dom Quotes 101 while streaming "Dom's Greatest Hits". Because they don't know that's not what they're supposed to do.

Who knows. It could be any or none of these or 100 other reasons.

LJ

SnowWhiteSubOZ​(sub female){Owned} • Jan 4, 2024

I am an actual slave … and I’m am sorry, I have only consented to my Master not everyone on the internet so no, I don’t have a “place” assigned by you. So ridiculous. 🤣👏🏼

lambsone • Jan 4, 2024

SnowWhiteSubOZ, You have grossly misinterpreted my original post. I am NOT assigning anyone their place. Nor do I expect anyone to submit to me. I'm asking the Dominants what THEY MEAN by In her place, when they include it in their profiles. Please thoroughly read my post again and you will see this.

Thank you.

lambsone • Jan 4, 2024

Thank you LongerJohnny for your insight.

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){I Guess } • Jan 4, 2024

Lambsone, first I think you misinterpreted Snowwhitesubs meaning. I don’t think she was directing her post towards you even though she used the word. I think she meant D types as the “you”.

As far as knowing her place, it is so general and vague that it speaks to me as someone who doesn’t know what their place is. Very similar to what LL and LJ said, it’s lazy. There’s no knowing your place until you discover your place and if you go into a dynamic with the mindset of already knowing then you’ll have to do a lot more work unknowing what you think you know.

I have been in a fair share of dynamics while I was looking for a good fit and each one was different based on the way the dynamic evolved.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 4, 2024

It's sometimes easy to misinterpret posts or thread-starters sometimes. Just a while ago I screwed up on the post "which came first, bdsm or vanilla?" I took it in an overly general way. I posted a correction but goes to show, I have my dim-wit moments or skim a post too fast.

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As for the topic, it could be "all of the above" with regard to insta doms or inexperienced ones, but it could also be a case of a dyed-in-the-wool alpha assigning a sub her place and being rattled if the sub rejects or resists such an assignment (Kneel, slave!") ---or is happier than a pig in shit if the sub is OK with it.

By and large, communication might resolve such situations, the more in-advance the better. If the prospective partners get together and go over details, they might discover if the relationship has good potential or is a no-go and can part before feelings get hurt, etc.

In general, just posting expectations or allowances on a profile doesn't quite cut the mustard.

Such is my take.