Obedience

Obedience

lambsone • Dec 4, 2024

As I check out several of the Dominants (any type) profiles here, obedience seems to be a common thread woven through their list of expectations for a potential submissive.

When you ask for obedience, what are you actually expecting from a submissive? How do you see it playing out in a practical way in your relationship? Is it behavior related? Mindset related? Characteristic related? What is it for you?

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Dec 4, 2024

Well for me the funny part is that if you have to mention it, then the Dom/me ain't do'n something right.

lambsone • Dec 4, 2024

@TopekaDom

If a sub and Dom were in the negotiation stage of their relationship, wouldn't it be wise for them to clarify the Dom's expectations in all areas before entering into a relationship? And the Dom to find out the subs expectations as well?

I'm asking specifically for the types of things the Dom would expect in the area of obedience before a relationship is established. I'm not asking about what they expect after they have already finished the negotiations where they've already discussed it.

Your answer would apply to after negotiations. If by chance you mean a sub should just know at any time, even without the Dom making it clear beforehand, then the sub would have to be a mind reader. Right?

dollMaker​(dom male) • Dec 4, 2024

You are asking questions specific to each dynamic, and those are specific there, and probably nowhere else. Of course there might be some commonalities, but also there may not be. The dynamic, its nature, and the people involved with each other, sometimes more than one person, will all effect what has been negotiated, agreed to before hand which will be the foundation upon what any obedience will be given, asked for, required.

I certainly would not express what I might, or might not require obedience about, because I tailer to suit whomever I might meet, get involved with. One thing I learn't quickly there are no cookie cutter solutions, shoe ins in kink - everything is energy, personality, interests, connection based, and any similarities will only come about because the energy of the people create that. Of course there are things I like, would want, core things, but those are not, generally speaking, activities as such, those I will tailer, and those core fetishes/kinks I require, are not obedience things, as such, so if the person I am talking with isn't in to them, they are hard no's, then with not enough to build upon regarding that, nothing happens.

I could make comments about those sorts of people who have 'obedience' all over their profiles, but I will refrain from doing so.

Bluebanana​(masochist female) • Dec 4, 2024

I'm not really sure what the question is, Lambsone. All I can say is...
Profiles, sometimes, are a crock of shit!
As for obedience! Unless you are sitting at his feet, how can you submit to his authority? Not really knowing how, what, who they are.
Maybe I have been hellbent heartbroken, but I'm beginning to think it's all a crock of shit.
Profiles with nothing on them. Profiles it takes a way too much precious time to read, no difference

lambsone • Dec 4, 2024

@dollmaker

Yes I understand it will look different per each sub and each dynamic but if you care to share, can you reveal some of the things in regards to obedience that you have expected in the past if it was a topic you discussed with a sub before. You don't have to reveal any specific scenarios.

lambsone • Dec 4, 2024

@Bluebanana

Have you had encounters with Dominants who have asked you to obey them? If so what types of things did they ask you to do that would show them that you obeyed their command?

We're you commanded to dress a certain way, to greet them in a certain way when you got together, commanded you to keep a journal, etc.

That's what I'm asking.

Bluebanana​(masochist female) • Dec 4, 2024

I have encountered guys messaging in the first instance, saying I will obey them, bla bla bla. I think it is funny these days . For me, it's not practical. Pics, videos and things, don't com naturally to me, so I just wouldn't.
I have done exactly what as been asked of me, lots of times when in person connections.
The first with someone I'm still in contact with. He is very active still in our kink community. I would have to light his cigarette and hand it to him. When we were talking I would always be sat at his feet. We weren't even in a full time relationship, I think I would still want to do this now or him but he doesn't smoke 😂
The next I was asked to greet him behind the door when he came in from work. On my knees, hands on the floor with head bowed. No clothing and just my collar. No clothing in home only the collar. When out, only a black A line skirt and blouse.
Oh I loved these days!!

Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){95%} • Dec 4, 2024

I have one simple rule, to obey. In the beginning it was a little more structured but Daddy said from the beginning that I didn’t need much training in accepting my place, learning my place, or anything like that. I had routines at one time but those don’t go over so well with my intense work schedule, ADHD, and general need for variety. So we practice on the spot obedience, meaning when Daddy says do, I do and when he says don’t, I don’t. Not to perfection, I am definitely a SAM at times, but he enjoys that about me and he enjoys letting me go for a little while and reigning me back in. I can tell by his tone of voice when it’s an obey instantly kind of thing, and I don’t fuck with him when he’s in that mindset.

We didn’t negotiate what I would or wouldn’t obey, because we both practice absolute obedience, CNC, whatever you want to label it. However, until he earned the right to my absolute obedience I simply told him I would choose what I obey and when and if he didn’t like that then he wasn’t the man for me. I was choosy for about a year.

Bluebanana​(masochist female) • Dec 4, 2024

Sweetly depraved has said in her last paragraph, what I couldn't, perfectly xx