Alternative Punishments

Alternative Punishments

DotCom​(sub female){Not now} • May 29, 2018

Last week I had a conversation with a "Dom" who told me that " I would not make a good sub because there would be no way to punish me if I stepped out of line". I have a painful autoimmune disorder that requires medications and chemotherapy. It is not a big deal to me anymore as this has been my norm for many years. Because of it, I have a very high pain tolerance. I enjoy impact play but I would get seriously hurt if it went to far. This alleged "sir" seems to think that impact play would be the only acceptable form of punishment. Would anyone care to enlighten this poor, unfortunate soul of some more creative forms of punishment?

euryale​(sub female) • May 29, 2018

Impact play is rarely used as a serious punishment in my relationship. My dom knows I'm way too into it, and has found plenty of other creative ways to punish me. I think punishments can vary a lot depending on the dynamic, and considering impact play a punishment, much less the only one is so limiting it's a bit shocking someone would consider themselves a dom and have that opinion.

Timeouts - Nothing like kneeling facing a wall until your dom decides to end the punishment to make you really rethink whatever you've done.

Orgasm denial - I'm way too quick to get into a state where I'm absolutely dying to cum, so this one is an especially effective deterrent for me. My dom uses it most commonly when I admit to cumming without permission, it's a perfect case of the punishment fitting the infraction.

Wet willies - disgusting. terrible. the worst and fastest punishment. my dom figured out early on that i'm really sensitive about my ears and has used that to his advantage. i think lots of people have something like that, which isn't that terrible on paper but for them makes them so uncomfortable they will considering safe wording because they hate it so much, but then convince themselves to back down and accept it as a punishment, because they know it's not actually harmful and feel their dom deserves to have that kind of power over them. it takes a bit of creativity and patience on the dom's part to find that thing, but it works. he just has to threaten it and i'll pretty much always stop whatever bratty thing i'm doing.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 29, 2018

That is like saying a pain slut or Maso cant make a good sub, pure bull sh%$ IMO . Pain doesn't always need to be the punishment, there are many things that effect the submissive and create change in behaviors. A good submissive is made from more than pleasure and pain tempering. There are also Emotional ways to punish a submissive or even repetitive tasks. If they love their collar, take it away....take away anything they enjoy or love for x# of days etc. Restricting activities or likes is another. Denial works too. What about humiliation? Boring or repetitive tasks are good if your dealing with child like acts! Write lines, stand in a corner etc. Another is you not inflecting the pain but they do it on themselves or to themselves like holding pennies against a wall (one for each finger) in whatever position you choose. I personally like use noses for this! Leave them till muscles ache and their mind is blank! While you explain why what they did was so wrong. Sensory deprivation is another. Another fav of mine is overly giving a sub what they want, overloading them. For EG a whinny sub that is always begging to cum. Non stop orgasms till they beg you to stop!

Write the infraction on their body with permanent marker so its seen and read daily. Heck, i've even heard of subs learning Morse code to explain why they are sorry, because he was bad at verbalizing when she needed him too. Several PC languages later he now does. the punishment fitted the 'crime'
If pain is there thing (have to have) and does act as a motivator as well, what about moving the pain to the annoying irritation side of the scale, itching, burning, stinging comes to mind, there are many forms of pain .

The idea is they dont like the punishment. It is punishment after all. It is not supposed to be enjoyed. Punishments that fit are often the most remembered. The trick is knowing what the submissive is made of and how they tick and think and them understanding what is punishment and what is just simply for the Dom/mes enjoyment. If they like the punishment, its then more "Funsishment" For example its no use giving some a spanking, if they are turned on by spanking. Your own only feeding a negative as they will start to act out to get what they want.
......the best punishment you can give a submissive is to walk away!

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 29, 2018

LOL I love it. I'm so lending that idea! Thank you for sharing. Wonderful creative Dom you have there!


edited to fix my quote (hopefully)

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • May 29, 2018

Be careful with this one. Certain submissives can have issues with banishment and this would cause undue stress on them. Instead, a Dominant could set x number of minutes for solitary confinement, explain that they need to walk away to get control of themself but will be back in x minutes, or stay in the room but not allow the submissive to speak to or touch them. This provides the effect while still giving the submissive the reassurance that they need.

Kateintraining​(sub female){Gratefully} • May 29, 2018

Radio silence. He reads the texts i send (and im an attention seeker so i send a lot).... and replies only with the eyes emoji to acknowledge hes read it. Its awful. But its not abandonment. Puts me right in my place.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • May 29, 2018

Very true Aria. Thanks for pointing this out. I also should of added when in the negotiation stages of your own arrangement people often miss talking about the "emotional" stuff because its less in the foreground and well...not fun or doesn't get the bits tingling. Aria pointed out very well, that we can all never stop communicating about how things and actions make us feel.

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • May 30, 2018

More importantly,
A good Dom needs to figure out why you keep misbehaving, every time you misbehave, you are seeking attention. Any attention, punishment or not is why you continue to misbehave, most subs are happy with this and will get this from an inexperienced Dom. This isn’t growth and doesn’t foster a long term relationship, it’s only feeding the subs needs and bad behaviour, the sub is happy, getting what he/she needs, but it’s going nowhere.
If the sub can admit her need for punishment, taking ownership of it, rather than feeling she needs to be bad to receive it, it’s much healthier to give the sub the required attention ie: spanking when she is good, as a reward, but that requires the sub to acknowledge responsibility for the need, most like the Dom to take that responsibility.
This all requires self awareness on the sub’s behalf.
I love being spanked, I have moved on from getting attention, punishment and reward through my brattish behaviour, this doesn’t mean I’m no longer a brat, it means that I’m looking for a Dom that fosters growth, not reinforces bad behaviour.

Purple Reigny • May 30, 2018

Completely agree. Punishement is meant to change behaviour, not perpetuate it.

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • May 30, 2018

If the sub allows you to punish when she is bad, she/he is using a form of self harm and the Domme/Dom is feeding it, 98% are using this form of abuse, by allowing your sub to request what they need ie; spanking, when a task is completed or carried out, good behaviour is reinforced = self growth and development, but if self harm is their thing, that’s ok, but I wouldn’t want to be the person encouraging it. It’s always going to be easier to be bad than good, some people don’t want to change.