BuddWeaver(sub male)
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3 months ago •
Oct 5, 2025
My kinks are beginning to scare me
my wife and I have been engaging in bdsm off and on for two years. it was originally my idea, and she has gotten very comfortable being the dominant one. For instance, I have been in chastity for 93 days. But the longer that I am locked up, the more submissive I become. And now I am tempted to encourage her to cuckold me. Which... I don’t think any relationship can actually withstand.
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Online now
incandescent(switch gender fluid){MAV-IV}
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3 months ago •
Oct 5, 2025
Maybe it's time to temporarily suspend the dynamic and have a tabletop as two people who love each other, the hard limits, soft limits.
I know from my own headspace, being partially or fully in that for a long time. I'm often making decisions that I may not feel good about when the haze clears up. Just another sub so here's to other's viewpoints that I hope follow your post. |
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| DevotedWorshipper(sub male) |
3 months ago •
Oct 5, 2025
There’s certainly nothing wrong with having a discussion and expressing how you’re feeling! If that means the dynamic is put on hold momentarily, I am sure she’ll understand.
Just from personal experience, I think I clean break from sub space every now and then can be good and healthy! I’ve definitely been in a similar boat. |
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House Talion(dom male)
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3 months ago •
Oct 5, 2025
Depends if youd be able to handle the idea of knowing she is being pleased by someone else.
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incandescent(switch gender fluid){MAV-IV}
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3 months ago •
Oct 5, 2025
Oversimplication House Talion wrote: Depends if youd be able to handle the idea of knowing she is being pleased by someone else.
I would argue it’s more complex than that. While that may play a part, there’s also the medical/ sexual health that needs to be traced and trusted. Is it an open or closed, whom else is the third person interacting with? Not to mention the emotional and relationship differences. I definitely used to think “if you’re not poly then you’re being selfish”. But it’s no different than being gay, bisexual or straight. An orientation that may be influenced and possibly static. It’s not wrong to crave a mono closed sexual and emotionally intimate relationship. It’s scary to have changes and absolutely alright to stop and take a breather in terms of the dynamic. Finding out and reevaluating boundaries is a good thing. Plus boundaries set today can be changed in a year or so. Even if it was as simple as “if you can handle the idea of knowing she’s being pleased by someone else”, it’s not at all wrong to say no. No I can’t handle that. No I am scared and don’t want to loose this person. Exclusivity and desire to not loose what you have is a very valid expression of love. 💕 Just my alternative viewpoint. |
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Anna Lynn(sub female)
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3 months ago •
Oct 6, 2025
I feel that It is perfectly healthy to have fantasies. We all do. Even myself, although I am absolutely monogamous, have fantasies such as the one you describe. There isn’t anything to be ashamed of for that.
The issues lies in knowing in your mind and in your heart which fantasies belong only in your head and which can be safely experienced in real life and who you are safe communicating your fantasies to. It might be healthy to take a break from sub space for a time and consider this particular fantasy with a clear headspace, if you will. Just remember that whatever you (and your wife) decide, it doesn’t make you less of a submissive. In fact, being able to communicate honestly about your wants and desires makes you reliable and trustworthy which is always a wonderful thing. |
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B L O N D I E(sub female)
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3 months ago •
Oct 6, 2025
Re: My kinks are beginning to scare me BuddWeaver wrote: my wife and I have been engaging in bdsm off and on for two years. it was originally my idea, and she has gotten very comfortable being the dominant one. For instance, I have been in chastity for 93 days. But the longer that I am locked up, the more submissive I become. And now I am tempted to encourage her to cuckold me. Which... I don’t think any relationship can actually withstand.
A message to the OP: there are several other submissive men on here who have done what you described and it only strengthened their relationships. These marriages thrived for many years with the dominant wife bringing home lovers to cuckold the submissive husband. Some even involved the men playing with and dominating the husband while he served them and the wife during their encounters. I would encourage you to broaden your view of what's possible. If both of you are thriving in this dynamic, then there's no reason why taking it to the next level would break the relationship, especially if this kind of cuckolding is what you both want. |
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MissBonnie(dom female){oz}
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3 months ago •
Oct 6, 2025
That’s a really important moment you’ve hit. Congrats — and it’s good that you’re pausing long enough to question it. When we’re deep in the chemistry of arousal and submission (that “joy juice serotonin cocktail”), it’s easy for fantasy to start feeling like destiny. But that’s exactly the time to slow down and take a breath.
Fantasy is meant to stretch imagination and heighten emotion — reality, though, has consequences you can’t always put neatly back in the box once opened. The dynamic you’ve built with your wife sounds strong and evolving, but big steps like cuckolding or introducing others need a clear head and calm communication, not the haze of denial and erotic charge. Maybe give it a bit of space. Let the hormones settle. Revisit what you actually want long-term — not just what turns you on right now. There’s nothing wrong with exploring the fantasy in conversation, or even in a controlled roleplay, before ever making it real. Sometimes the hottest fantasies are best left as fantasies — precisely because they keep that tension alive without risking the bond you’ve already built. |
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| Pleasetomeetyou(dom male) |
3 months ago •
Oct 6, 2025
I'd like an to apologize also/ DigitalLupine wrote: House Talion wrote: Depends if youd be able to handle the idea of knowing she is being pleased by someone else.
Would you please unblock I'm using a different handle I'm terribly sorry the way it ended please at least a closure to because I wish you the best and I don't think I handled it well. Some heartache and then be honest with you Please unblock so I can come back and just talk to you finish it right I would argue it’s more complex than that. While that may play a part, there’s also the medical/ sexual health that needs to be traced and trusted. Is it an open or closed, whom else is the third person interacting with? Not to mention the emotional and relationship differences. I definitely used to think “if you’re not poly then you’re being selfish”. But it’s no different than being gay, bisexual or straight. An orientation that may be influenced and possibly static. It’s not wrong to crave a mono closed sexual and emotionally intimate relationship. It’s scary to have changes and absolutely alright to stop and take a breather in terms of the dynamic. Finding out and reevaluating boundaries is a good thing. Plus boundaries set today can be changed in a year or so. Even if it was as simple as “if you can handle the idea of knowing she’s being pleased by someone else”, it’s not at all wrong to say no. No I can’t handle that. No I am scared and don’t want to loose this person. Exclusivity and desire to not loose what you have is a very valid expression of love. 💕 Just my alternative viewpoint. |
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incandescent(switch gender fluid){MAV-IV}
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3 months ago •
Oct 6, 2025
@Pleasetomeetyou I don't think you've interacted or offered us so apology not needed 💖
Plus even if you did post something and I disagreed with you, that's me disagreeing with your statement or viewpoint. Not me disliking or being hurt by you the person(s). |
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