Diversity

Diversity

Jashine • Jun 5, 2018

When I signed up to The Cage it was heartening to see that I had the following choices to click on: 'Female', 'Male', 'TransFTM', 'TransMTF', 'Gender Fluid', 'Gender Queer', 'Agender', 'Intersex', 'Butch', 'Femme'. It was heartening because I knew that I would be joining a group of highly diverse people. While I enjoy The Cage and the people in it, I don't see as much diversity as I expected. It is clear from the blogs and from the chat room Lobby that the vast majority of people are cis-gender and describe themselves as male Doms and female submissives. While this may simply be a reflection of the BDSM demographic, I have been on other sites where the presence and active contribution of others outside this majority are much more of a feature than here. I am beginning to suspect that those who fall outside this majority come into The Cage and then leave soon after, finding themselves under-represented or even sidelined/ignored. My question is: what are the ways in which the diversity of people in The Cage could be increased? Indeed, should welcoming diversity even be a priority?

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Jun 5, 2018

Interesting thoughts, Jash. I think welcoming diversity in all its forms should be and to a certain extent already is a priority here.

As for not seeing it, I do wonder if simple numbers aren't a lot of the explanation. The Cage is a subset (just one website) of a further subset (BDSM) of the population. Statistics surrounding gender identity and population vary a lot and are questionable in many cases, but I think it's safe to say that diverse identities you discuss are already a small percentage of the overall population. There's also the matters of labels, choice and privacy that may further drive down the perceived diversity.

As for what ways we could increase diversity here on the Cage, I'm going to go with being human and listening. I hope that via discussions like this we hear from those that feel they're under or poorly represented on here, and hopefully they'll share their struggles and any/or suggestions for what we as a community can do to improve.

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • Jun 5, 2018

New here, this is what I’ve seen, if you don’t comply with the thoughts of a few here you’re steam rolled into avoiding conversation, it’s a brave thing, putting your thoughts out there, fortunately for me I work in a female dominated environment and I don’t give a shit. But to some I can see it must be horrible. You expect to be welcomed but it’s not really too friendly.
Chat room? Well I went there once, said hi how many times I don’t remember, the only comment I got was ‘isn’t it 2am in uk?’
So it’s not a good place to visit.
I haven’t seen many transgender men or women but I’ve got loads of male subs in panties happy to chat, I do LOVE gay men, they’re quick and smart and sassy, but I haven’t found any as friends yet.

DammitJanet​(sub female){NOT INTERE} • Jun 5, 2018

Also, I forgot to add, I do spend time with transgender male and female through my work, perhaps they don’t want to call themselves transgender? they are always addressed as the gender they at transgendering to, so they would be male or female, I did have input recently with a male and female couple who were both transgendering to the opposite sex and remaining a couple ??‍♀️

Bunnie • Jun 5, 2018

Maybe you could be a welcoming “voice” for diversity here. You’re a highly intelligent and articulate person, you’ve seen something that requires adjusting (I’m sorry, it’s something I haven’t paid much attention to tbh... I don’t think to consider how people identify, I just think of people as people, which is likely an attitude that contributes to discomfort)... Through blogs and forums, you could show others they’re not alone, and along the way, maybe you can teach those like me how to be more aware. I don’t like to think that anyone who is actively trying to be a part of a community, is being excluded, and if I am contributing towards that in any way (through ignorance etc.), I’m more than happy to learn how to help things improve.

Hawkeye • Jun 6, 2018

Seeing people as people and removing labels is the ultimate form of inclusion.

DrWakko • Jun 6, 2018

I don’t have exact stats but I would think that this site is an accurate repesentation of kink culture in whole. Since this site is really a three part site* you might not see every group but they are out there.

What would be nice is to use what we have and run with it. I will only get to see a small part of the world in my life time and an even smaller part of the kink world. It would be nice to share and swap stories and experiences. I know that the community I’m in now and the community I’m moveing to are totally different. I would love to hear how things happen in other parts of the world. My inputs plus your inputs might just make the communities better.

The lgbt folks will come in when they are ready or when they find us. And once they are here they will be greated with open arms just like every kink community out there.

* theee part site = forum / blog, personals and chat

Villanelle​(staff) • Jun 6, 2018

It's important to remember that we are still a relatively new and growing community. It's my hope that we'll have a lot more of everyone as the word spreads. As a female dominant I feel we're very under represented, particularly since we don't allow findom/prodommes on this site (unless they are here in a strictly personal capacity with no financial interactions whatsoever). So please do tell your friends, mention us on places like reddit or quora or other social media sites, and let people know we're here. Hopefully in time we'll have more diversity which is good for all of us.

Jashine • Jun 8, 2018

I've been pressed to offer possible solutions to the questions I posed above, and I give them here, along with some relevant observations. They might not be to everyone's liking but, after all, the Forum is a space for conversation and debate.

I believe that the chat function is a very significant and positive feature of The Cage. It allows social interaction and the exchange of information and views in real time. It can create a sense of 'community'. Perhaps most importantly, it allows the opportunity to discuss best practice in BDSM. All of this is brilliant.

The chat function is a system, as is The Cage as a whole, and the best systems bring out the best in people. No system is perfect, however, and my view is that the current Lobby chat room system unconsciously reinforces a prevailing mindset, to the detriment of diversity and inclusivity. This mindset overwhelmingly comprises male dominants and female submissives. There is nothing wrong with male dominants and female submissives, but one important reason why people open up their own rooms is that the Lobby chat holds no interest for them, or alienates them.

If permanent (self-policing) rooms were created alongside the Lobby chat room, it might be that people new to The Cage, whose interests fall outside the norm, would see those interests served, and frequent chat more often than they do. One such room could be Femdom chat. There is no reason why such a room could not work in just the same way as the Lobby, i.e. be self-policing; and it might encourage the return of those female dominants who have left or been chased away. Another such room could be the Dungeon. Here roleplay could take place, which many people have objected to in the Lobby.

The principle should be to have a system that serves the needs and wishes of all. I observe that people in general don't pay much attention to others' needs and wishes—we could call it human nature—and so it devolves on a system to protect those needs and wishes. That is why it is so important for the administrators to hear what we have to say about our experiences on The Cage.

Bunnie • Jun 8, 2018

Great suggestion, Jash, thank you. I had heard this discussed a little, previously, but didn’t quite understand why it may be necessary or how it could work. This has really helped clarify that for me... it makes a lot of sense. And I can see how it would help to relieve the Lobby a lot. I was going to ask if it’s necessary for the rooms to be permanent, however, I realised as I was writing that, that although I find myself at times in the Lobby in situations I don’t want to be in... but having a strong urge to still socially interact, therefore not wanting to have to leave, I don’t have the leadership required to open another room for myself and those who may be suffering also... so we remain in the Lobby quietly suffering until it stops (or I just go read blogs/forums, and flick back and forth until it’s ok to go back). I appreciate you speaking out to be one here who encourages not just change, but finding solutions, that can hopefully make this great space even better