Baby Girl trying to learn - Help please?

Sensualgent​(dom male) • Dec 30, 2018

Hello and welcome.

Dear Satin,

I believe The Cage is a genuine website with a good community but all communities have users.

With that in mind it probably wasn't a good idea for you to have highlighted your vulnerability in being new to the scene and sounding very trusting.
So please take the time to get to know people before trusting, meeting up, leaving yourself in a vulnerable position, or committing.
There are some very caring people on here who will be pleased to advise you but even then one could offer advice as a form of grooming,
Including me ! I'm not, but then I would say that.

You know, there is no rush to get to your destination.

You are not inadequate as a person or a submissive because you lack experience or aren't sure of your needs.
Learning and experimenting; finding out about your desires is part of the fun, part of life, of growth.
Don't rush or wish it away. Be happy with who you are.
Just pause briefly to consider that.

Walk wherever YOUR path takes you but be happy with where you are along the route.
Be good to yourself, you deserve it.

Any supposed Dom, in fact any decent person would be helpful, patient and guiding without using pressure or guilt on you in any way.
If they do then then move on.
I hope that's helpful and I wish you all the best.
S G.

WEAPON X​(dom male) • Dec 30, 2018

I have to agree you subs should stick together they are more then willing to help but be carful of some people on here as they are just fakes research and the other subs will probably benefit you most i mean yes some real doms wont take advantage and try to actually help just please be safe

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 30, 2018

If you scroll through forums you will find a lot of lists on books.

I also suggest


Submissiveguide.com


And-


I write a column for yourkinkyfriends


http://yourkinkyfriends.com/2018/06/29/livingms/





If you are looking for a one on one-
I suggest you find another babygirl to speak with. As D types will not understand your challenges the way another Babygirl can.

Keeganmac​(switch male) • Dec 30, 2018

I think Kitty21 hit the closest to my thoughts as well. Most of all, know thyself and be safe.

WhiteRoses​(sub female) • Dec 30, 2018

Please reach out to me as well if you would like someone to talk to. Fairly new, have learned quickly what NOT to believe and do.

I too would love to have friends to discuss things with. There is a lot of good advice here as well as a lot of people who will feed you nonsense. But most of that comes in the private mail in my experiences.

SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Dec 31, 2018

I agree with most of the people who have posted warnings and such. The people here are generally good, but there will always be trolls and instadadies. Take care and be willing to wait and you may find something wonderful.

hiddn_jewel​(sub female){Yes} • Dec 31, 2018

Fully agree with all the warnings others have posted.

As far as training goes... I'm not entirely sure what that means to you. In my opinion, training only comes after a submissive has figured out what her needs, wants and limits are, they have met a potential Dom partner and gone through a mutually negotiated list of limits for both sides of the slash and at that point they both feel they are compatible enough to pursue taking the relationship a bit further. Training, to me, would then be the Dom working with the sub, ethically within the bounds of those mutually negotiated limits, to explore and tweak the dynamic specifically for them.

Some of the comments on here bring to mind the concept of mentoring. When I first started out the idea of being mentored by a Dom (I identify as a sub) was super sexy. Now, it seems a bit unethical with huge potential for abuse. So, if you are considering any sort of mentoring situation, I would encourage you to look to your fellow submissives for that (as others have mentioned as well). Learn from their experiences and varying perspectives. What is safe behavior in the lifestyle? What are the red flags of bad behavior? Etc.

You mentioned that attending lifestyle events might be problematic for you. I hope that situation changes. Your local community can be a great resource for support.

Lovedove​(sub female) • Jan 1, 2019

Try looking up littlespaceonline.com it's a Q/A site that helps you better understand the DD/bg lifestyle. With no trolls just hitting on you.

Its not a dating site its a site to help u understand that aspect of the lifestyle.

Misanthrope • Jan 11, 2019

Satin,

If it isn't too rude, I'd like to make a suggestion. If you are brand new to this type of lifestyle, online is NOT where you want to get your advice and information. There is zero way of knowing if the person you are talking to is being above board or not, let alone if the advice they are giving is good. Of all the types of dating/lifestyle sites that are out on the internet, BDSM, in all it's forms, tends to draw the posers with the most nefarious intent. Because of it's intimacy and strong dependency on trust, this is the easiest relationship in which to get hurt, and hurt deeply.

Some on here may disagree with me, but I would strongly recommend search out munches and groups in your local area. Find another sub or two with whom you can build a rapport, and learn from them. Above all, don't seek out a dom, especially online, to guide you on the first steps of your journey. It is way too easy to be taken advantage. The only exception I would make to this is if you are already in a relationship and your boyfriend/girlfriend is interested in being the dominant or daddy/mommy in the relationship. Then use this time to grow together.

Kitty21​(sub female) • Jan 11, 2019

I'm going to have to disagree here. I started out on Cage, and met my Daddy online. He lives a few hours away from me, but we spent time, online, building trust, and forming a bond, before we met in person.

I don't think it matters if you find a Dom online, or online turning into irl, or if it starts out irl.

As long as you are cautious, and protect yourself, any way you choose to explore this side of yourself is great!