Initial messages

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Jan 16, 2019

@ Wakko,

Can I ask why you never ask if a bottom wants to play?

I also understand about the harsssment but I think that it possibly occurs because there is more men than women members here.


Thanks all for the responses and FYI I totally agree that it’s people > kink and If someone interests you , than you should reach out. I guess I wasn’t very clear before, but I was just looking more for personal choices and reasons. For example, I personally don’t reach out to Doms but if i find someone interesting I will like their profile/ forum comment or blog.

DrWakko • Jan 16, 2019

@curiouskittyy

I entered the Bdsm community about ten years ago and that is how things were done. I believe I was told that it was based more on old guard.

It does get interesting now that things have shifted to a male ask female model. Every now and then there is a bottom who gets their feels hurt that I haven’t asked them to play. Once they understand the old guard way they feel better, but now have to work up the courage to ask to play.

Note: just because the bottom has to ask to play doesn’t mean I don’t and won’t initiate conversation.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 17, 2019

Here's something I haven't seen on this thread yet... If someone catches your interest, look up their profile first! Such is the case with me. People see me post here and there and some "get interested" and a stopover at my profile would eliminate a lot of wasted time if they're looking to meet me in person, talk on the phone, do KIK and all that crap..

The answer is:

"No, Just Here To Meet Others, Read Other Perspectives, etc. Not looking for anything else. I get my jollies locally. "

I'm hardly unique in this regard so check out the profile, see what they're into or not into and if they're along your lines, send a vanilla message. If they are wise they'll, in turn, go look at your profile, see what you do and don't do--- and everyone can go from there.

The profile is an underutilized resource in many online sites, kink or regular- saves buckets of time either by indicating you should "keep shopping" or that you have a live one on the line.

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Jan 17, 2019

Reaching out doesn’t matter.
What does matter, I believe, is what is said and how it’s said.
FC

WEAPON X​(dom male) • Jan 17, 2019

I honestly don't think it matters who does it first but for me i would make it first even if it only ended in a freindship

Miki​(masochist female) • Jan 17, 2019

@Daddymaster41​ Ahh! at last--- someone who doesn't mind The Friend Zone!!!!!!!!