What makes a good Dom

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Feb 5, 2019

No no that was not meant to say you have ..was just saying that there is a HUGH difference in those things

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Feb 5, 2019

Jackman, or Laurie? There's a HUGH difference.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 5, 2019

@TNJOKER

You had asked if doing something that others disagree with makes you a bad Dom.

ABSOLUTELY not.

You have to define for yourself what being a Dom means to you.


I will not do corporal punishment.

To some this aspect of my Mastery automatically rules me out as a Master.

The questions then are:


1) do I change what I do to get the recognition of others?

2) if I do change what I do to suit another's ideal then doesnt that make me their submissive instead of my own Dom/me?

3) does it matter if someone I am not in a relationship with doesnt recognize my identity ?




Your initial question is what makes a good Dom/me?


Your going to get a lot of answers here.
Good ones.

But:

What do you think makes a good Dom/me?

What do words like honesty, humor, integrity, and communication mean to you in real time?

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 5, 2019

I would also say that what I find makes a good Dom/me :


Skilled
No Dom/mes disease
Humility
Community minded
Financially viable

Tnjoker​(dom male){My Harley} • Feb 5, 2019

Masterbear

I have read your posts all throughout these forums and find myself in awe of your intelligence and knowledge and way you speak to get your point across. Once again you have left me speechless. Your revelations make me think even more about the lifestyle and My place in it. Your questions are spot on. I only wish I had the knowledge and wisdom to figure these things out on My own. Maybe one day I could sit down with you and pick that wealth of knowledge that you have. Anyone who refuses to learn is truly dead inside. I completely believe that. Thank you for your thoughts and i look forward to more of your posts.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 5, 2019

@TNjoker


I am very flattered.

Thank you.

I love the forums here.

And if yo uh need I am always available by email.


Oh and Welcome to BDSM

hiraethslave​(sub female){unavailabl} • Feb 15, 2019

What makes a good dom,
I actually have to disagree that it depends on the sub. I think it depends on the individual dynamic if he is the RIGHT Dom for her, but I do believe there are characteristics intrinsic to being a "good dom". However, those traits differ based upon the TYPE of Dom.

For instance: a Sadist needs communication, wisdom, logic, learned intentional skill, patience, stamina, self and other awareness, self restraint he does not necessarily require compassion or emotional awareness if the dynamic he seeks is a Top or play situation only. Similarly consistency is not necessarily required.

A Daddy needs: compassion, patience, a sense of humor, imagination, suspension of disbelief, empathy, self and other awareness, communication skills, time management skills, consistency, creativity.

The list goes on for gentledoms, service tops, etc etc etc.

Principally I'd like to draw attention to: compassion, self restraint, self awareness, other awareness, consistency, intentional learning, and MERCY.

Bunnie • Feb 15, 2019

Hi @ Tnjoker

Great question. I always have a lot of respect for those who ask questions, striving to learn and grow.

“In your opinion, what makes a good Dom?”

This quote really sums it up for me...

“A mediocre Master tells...

A good Master teaches...

An excellent Master explains...

But a true Master inspires.”

SnappyJ​(sub female){Collared} • Feb 15, 2019

I'd like to add flexibility and adaptability. Relationships grow and change and a Dom can't be so rigid as to not change as the dynamic alters.

SimplyJane​(dom female) • Feb 15, 2019

I expect a lot from myself and a lot from
my sub. Each day I strive to be a better person. Everything takes work,
including a Domme/sub relationship.