Online now
Online now

Submissive Friends

hopefulbabygirl​(sub female)
4 years ago • Apr 25, 2020
Hello! I’m new too! I’ve been quietly cruising blogs and discussion boards but I’m still a little nervous about everything so I don’t say a whole lot right now. Please feel free to message me in here if you’d like!
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
4 years ago • Apr 25, 2020
To all the newbies, welcome.

If you're new the the lifestyle, take it slow and at *your* pace. Don't let an over-eager dom try to push you into something you're not ready for. There's a lot of advice on the forums, and in the blogs. Avoid anyone who wants to start up with kink right out the door, without getting to know you. I've a few blogs articles on this subject if you care to take a look.

Getting to know people simply starts with a conversation. So, let's have a conversation.

--Rich
tallslenderguy​(other male)
4 years ago • Apr 25, 2020

Re: Submissive Friends

xlilbratbaex wrote:
So I'm new to The Cage and would like to make new submissive friends. I've found it's not always the easiest to find people who are open minded to this lifestyle in person so the internet has to be the next best thing. I'm curious to know about your experiences in finding friendships in the BDSM community and what I should do to make some friends of my own.


Welcome!

i'm pretty new here too, and in a bit different boat as a sub gay guy, but you didn't qualify what kind of sub, so here i am icon_wink.gif.

i'm a member of a few forums that cater to our culture and have found there is always a core group and a fringe group with online groups. The core group usually seem to be the more steady, serious, real and reliable people. Online always has a number of scammers and crazies as well. So far, this site seems to me to do a good job of policing scammers and removing them.

my approach is to read peoples profiles. i find if there isn't a profile, or it is virtually non existent, the person is probably equal to their profile. But not always, some (few it seems) people focus more on the forums than their profile and you can get to know them in forum.

i haven't tried the chat yet, not a fan of texting as a means of getting to know people... i find chat/text more of a casual, touch bases medium. It makes me crazy when someone text's me asking: "tell me about your self." i have to bite my tongue (fingers?) to keep from answering: "did you read my profile?" But that's me, some seem to like it.
ShyMinx​(sub female){Taken}
4 years ago • Apr 26, 2020
I'm new as well and I've been doing doing pretty much the same as newandeager " quietly cruising blogs and discussion boards". I've been having great time reading them. Some of you guys write some fantastic blogs! I've met some really nice people on here and they've been great about answering questions. Thank you to everyone who takes the time to answer our newbie questions. The amount of knowledge here in these virtual walls of The Cage has been impressive and I'm thankful that so many of you are willing to share your knowledge and experiences.
rottenbrat​(sub female){Skyrich}
4 years ago • Apr 26, 2020

Friends are good.

skyrich wrote:
To all the newbies, welcome.

If you're new the the lifestyle, take it slow and at *your* pace. Don't let an over-eager dom try to push you into something you're not ready for. There's a lot of advice on the forums, and in the blogs. Avoid anyone who wants to start up with kink right out the door, without getting to know you. I've a few blogs articles on this subject if you care to take a look.

Getting to know people simply starts with a conversation. So, let's have a conversation.

--Rich



Ladies and Gentlemen alike, this is a critical concept for all participants. Please take it seriously, but it's not just Doms that do this.....
I will say it again, but slower....... IT'S NOT JUST DOMS THAT GET
OVER-EAGER AND PUSH TOO FAR TOO FAST.
Anyone not aware of their own personal boundaries can and will do this without ever realizing it until after they and others involved get hurt.
Friends are good..... know each other well, and don't get sexually involved until you are secure in the knowledge of what you want AND what they want. Don't compromise yourself thinking someone else will change to make you happy....... If they have to change who they are to give you what you want, then they are not the right person for you temporarily or otherwise.