Thoughts on BDSM Bars

TheWhorelock​(dom male) • Oct 30, 2020

In truth, I think you can justify it, but I also don’t think it’s wise. You’d need a regular Dom/me or team of Dom/me’s you could hire, and if it’s not a bdsm club the novelty of it could easily wear off. A bdsm club should not allow alcohol. It just shouldn’t. I live in Portland OR and because we lack a real club or dungeon we often have our events in bars and the crowds are constantly saturated with people who shouldn’t be there. Too drunk, too vanilla, too creepy looking for easy sex... many issues with this arise.

People have talked about play while inebriated, and basically this is just true. Yes, there are obviously situations in which it’s not going to cause any real harm, but over time eventually something is likely to go wrong, and the bar is absolutely responsible for this.

I don’t agree with the assessment that “rawr floggers leather can’t be clean!” Unless your bottom bleeds or you flog their pussy or something. From my perspective it’s not any dirtier than people hugging. And, in this proposed scenario you’re not going hard enough to draw blood, and probably in a bar there’s not much naked pussy flogging.

If you want to do BDSM entertainment in a bar setting, I think doing demo’s and shows is a better idea. Maaaaaybe tastings with a breathalyzer?

My 2 cents

xHarleyQuinn​(sub female){Collared } • Oct 31, 2020

@shahh

No, THIS place, to which I am referring, they were not light and playful, nor was there a set limit to the count. And many girls would be new and get wasted and challenge the top because "they could handle it." I have been to places that can do things like this on a small scale responsibly.

I personally, overall, do not agree with this concept as it can really get out of hand if not managed properly. You can't play laser tag without a briefing, and I feel like this should be treated the same way. If the TOP doesn't know you, there should be a brief chat about what is about to happen, a strike limit and an impact limit. Just my two cents.

xHarleyQuinn​(sub female){Collared } • Oct 31, 2020

I agree with this.

DrWakko • Oct 31, 2020

I would say what you are describing might be more common at the gay leather bars.

Also the best way I have found to clean my floggers or any other leather item is with UV light. The light is suppose to clean 99.9% of germs on the material.

You play at your own risk. Even though you might watch a Top clean his/her toys you still risk getting/catching something. The only 100% way to make sure you don't catch anything from a toy is not to be near it.

shahh • Oct 31, 2020

@ xHarleyQuinn

Hmmm...much clearer picture there, thanks. Seems like a ticking time bomb.

xHarleyQuinn​(sub female){Collared } • Oct 31, 2020

I first just wanted to know how other felt about these places. But needed to clarify based on your question/statement.

Maybe I am just getting old and overprotective, but I worry about the young people and those new to this, and I worry about more things bringing negative attention to us.

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Oct 31, 2020

I think people need a place to explore with experts. This is like the "Don't talk about sex and kids won't get pregnant" It doesn't work.

I am not saying beat the crap out of someone and terrify them out of the lifestyle - IMO that happens WAY more often in the isolated community - like here, than in a controlled environment where people are just giving little "kink tastes" and letting people get their liquid courage before giving into their senses... not blackout drunk, not extreme pain - just introductions. I think it is way more dangerous when things are kept hidden.

I almost think it is better because no one gets hurt. Hey, I want to go channel my inner Domme? Maybe I get to spank a girl... Hell, it happens to me EVERY time I go to a vanilla bar and some chick wants to grab my tits and make out with me... at least in this situation, you are going into that back room knowing it is going to be just a kinky good time. I don't even consider it BDSM. Just fun and more choice than some of the other things people get themselves into.

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 1, 2020

That place in 'Frisco sounded like fun. I would not line up for a paddling shit-face drunk, but I get off all the better with a buzz going. Plus I'm more relaxed and physically flexible. But a no-strings paddling or even a whack or two with a cane is perfect for me. Get my thrills and go home without worrying about my phone buzzing in my pocket like a wayward vibrator the next day as a dude looks for a second session.

All this would be if there were no COVID horseshit running amuck in the nation. Now all bets are off and the best I can do is fantasize and rub off a few in my room.

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Nov 1, 2020

Excessive alcohol or drugs and bdsm don’t make a good combination!
Things may occur outside of a previously agreed limit or boundary!
Which at the very least could be regretted or even result in an assault charge !!

DrWakko • Nov 1, 2020

An assault charge? In the US one can not consent to being hit. You can receive an assault charge even if you are playing with a consenting adult. There are some states where if the cops are called for a domestic violence issue and an officer sees bruising then the other party is taken away to jail. Being a kinkster it is always a good idea to read up on local laws.

Also a lot of communities will put together a BDSM and the law class. Tells you what to say and not to say when cops show up at play parties, hotel rooms or anywhere else you might be playing.