When it goes wrong

DrKrall • Nov 24, 2020

If somebody does something or agree to something out of willingness I would say they have consented.
You're not making sense.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2020

There's this thing called "desire". It is not "agreed" too. It simply "is". Does that make more sense?

It's more instinct/impulse. Then anything agreed too or not. Consent tends to be more clear or more verbal.

Hmm. By this logic even lack of awareness doesn't have to be bad. Provided ONE involved (normally the dom) is aware. I have had moments of "happy confusion" at times. You don't know you "want" that until it's there already. So you can't even tell yourself you want it before you have it. This also means you can't let your partner know. But they might make you want it once you have it regardless.

Basically, it has to "already be there".

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2020

a) I call bullshit on the entire story.

b) as usual you argue rather than listen.
You justify what you think is healthy or permissible behavior with people clearly more experienced and rational than you.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2020

Right. Tired of this. You clearly have your own head up your own ass and are close minded. You also fail to say why or how without proof. You've done this too many times with me when no one else has. So blocking.

Even Mika can have a calm civil conversation with me without accusations. You're just plain toxic. :I

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2020

LOL block me. You clearly have issues.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2020

The only issue here is you. Also I just blocked you. Still seeing your posts for some reason.

Regardless, you clearly have your own issues. I clearly bother you. It clearly upsets you. You clearly refuse to have an open mind too.

Now with all due respect, please leave me alone and respect my boundaries. Or are you incapable of doing that and going to continue to force your verbal abuse on me? I will report you if you persist in this toxic behaviour.

@Everyone else: Please excuse this personal despite and stay on topic. I simply refuse to be a target. This is my last reply to Subtlehush.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 24, 2020

Sure lets stay on topic. Did she serve time?

She murdered more than one person..."some other slaves"

You kill people at any age there is usually some legal involvement.

So did she serve time?"

Miki​(masochist female) • Nov 24, 2020

These things happen, more often than we read about, and by that I mean something that is supposed to be BDSM that turns into outright slavery and imprisonment, not necessarily where people end up getting killed, as per what she said to you.

Let's for the moment say all "Sarah" wrote is true. Even 16-year olds go to prison for multiple killings, or are ruled not guilty by way of insanity or whatever, and very few that age, even without her traumatic experiences, is clever enough to hide all the evidence, bury their victims where they cannot be found, or deflect inevitable missing-persons inquiries successfully.

Be that all it may, my sole point is, if you want to help her, that's fine, but up to a limit. Sarah needs professional help and unless you're in that field, it's beyond you or anyone else she meets in person let alone online. Even then, those who would give her the help she needs cannot do so online.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 24, 2020

'When it goes wrong' as a title suggests it went right at some point, and based on what you have written, at no point was that situation right. There are aspects I don't understand, but they are none of my business, not my business to question. I hope that Sarah, gets the help she needs to sort out the trauma her life must have caused her.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 24, 2020

I am. Kind of letting my guard down here though (I have my on switches basically). Dad knows psychology so I learned a lot from him. On that day I had THREE major stressful events going on. This is just one. I had three. In ONE day. In the space of a few hours one after the other. And I STILL managed to make good things happen and enjoy the rest of my day. Despite a dull throbbing headache. Nope. Not stopping me enjoying myself. I refuse. Managed to do it. Even got someone to take an interest with me dom wise.

Capable as I am had to sleep that off. Literary for my health. Not kidding. I just wouldn't be able to make the time for it professionally. I'm too intimate with too many people and don't hold back with any of them (throws a spanner in the professional area). Juggle enough as it is. I'm good but I'm not THAT good.


You're much less likely to be able to help someone on a forum website (not impossible. But MUCH more difficult. Response times are too long). But you can help someone much more easily on, say, Second Life (surprisingly). Or F-chat. Something with more "1 on 1 back and forth chat". Just keep in mind you'll find people lacking brains in any environment. Let's be honest here. If communication was easy no one would ever struggle. Logic and understanding is what matters. Environment is moot. Every finds safety in their own areas. Truth is people online do suffer. People just don't want to handle the responsibility. Or even the reality. They are not lying. This is real. I'll give a nudge if I happen to be there (I'm nosy. So I come across a lot more then others). After that they're on their own. But it's the difference between life and death at times. It's impossible to wait when someone is suicidal and about to kill themselves. Not Sarah. Different person. It's also impossible to just walk away from someone with a gun in real life. Defused both. Later actually kissed my hand before parting in peace.

... Yea. Being nosy means more responsibility. It's fine. I can handle it. The more I do it, the better I get at it. The more control I gain. All revolving around "Honesty and what you want." It's impossible to argue against that. Provided you know how to make someone aware of the truth. Not moral high grounds. Not deciding what's best for them. It has to be FLAWLESS logic with ZERO room for doubt.

So when it comes to BDSM I get to go "Have it all. Just TRY breaking me." PUSH me. Hard as you can. I actually encourage it. Just make sure I get the attention, affection and lewds and I'm set. It's very VERY difficult to break someone that's already been broken to that extent. Degradation. Mindfucking. Torture with affection. Heck, I can even handle abuse and turn that around. That isn't a danger or threat to me. You might fear abuse. I know I can turn it around and sleep with them in bed with matters resolved. In that instant they become toxic. THEY offer. I make that happen even if they're in control. I don't fear ANY of that.

I make sure the dom (or even none dom) states things clearly. Gets me to do what they want. With ZERO room for misinterpretation. I drop a few hints. They play along. Even the subs do it. Getting me to beg to cum. Where others go "You can't make them something they're not" I go "Why am I making this happen then". It's because I know how. That's why. In order to explain that exactly I would have to fill several pages. But basically, in a nutshell, "Make it about being playful while reminding them about CONTROL".

I'm saying it again. BDSM at its core is about CONTROL. When you go "You enjoy that don't you?" That is control. MY control. Fuelling THEIR desire. You WANT me to bend over or mount you. Or whatever other actions amuses you. All you have to do is TELL me. But you have to TELL me. Sometimes I bulldoze it like I do right now. Other times I'm much more playful on the topic. Leading on. Until being controlled. There's simple "tricks" to it. Doesn't have to be complicated. But is IS about control at the end of the day.

Technically, I don't give that control. It's more like I leave it open for grabs. Or, if someone doesn't want it at first, they kind of... have too eventually? Reduces stress, leads to fun times more easily. I always do as I'm told. 100% of the time. By people I know that is. ONCE understanding is obtained. It kind of confused people at first sometimes. Because they don't understand why I'm not as selfish as they are. But then they become more selfless when I set that example. And with me to boot. Giving me what I need when I make it about them. That makes sense, right? I reach out to those people that want nothing to do with me and go "Let's make it about you. And now suddenly it's about me too." It would be easy to be selfish. To go "my preferences alone" like they do. But that's just not how it works. Only when I go "It's about you and not myself alone" do they start making it about me.

Strange isn't it? To give everything even when they give nothing. But it works.