Are people afraid of coming out of closet about their BDSM fantasies and why ?

ButterfliesAndCuffs(sub female)

3 years ago • Oct 14, 2021

I don’t tell everyone for reasons already stated, but there are a couple close friends of mine that I’ve told because I know they’re pretty accepting people. Plus my friends and I talk about sex 🤷‍♀️. They don’t know everything about it like being assigned tasks for example.
My family would never understand. They will stay in the dark about that part of me.

Richlydefined(sub female){Gardener}

3 years ago • Oct 14, 2021

Personally, No. Despite my family being very religious they are also very accepting, as are my friends. I'm very lucky in that my friends/family have never been restrictive about openly discussing things of either sexual or alternative natures. Quite a few members of my family/friends outright know my preferences or have an inkling. I've never been shy about what I like or about owning up to things when asked directly but I have to be asked directly; I'm not just going to shove it out there in anyone's face. People who know me are aware that if they ask me they are going to get an answer whether they like it or not.

LongerJohnny(dom male)

3 years ago • Oct 14, 2021

I agree that first and foremost it is not anyone else's damn business, unless I make it so.

-------

I don't talk about sex-related matters at all with my family. Not because I have any problem with it, but because they do.

The majority of my friends wouldn't believe me. And it saddens me to say that as openminded as most of my friends are, many are equally judgmental.

Some would react negatively because they wouldn't understand, others because they would feel deceived as if not telling them were the same as lying to them about it.
(One in particular is of the opinion that she already knows everything about everything. She is the type who argues with her own ego about which of them has the biggest cock. So her head would explode if she learned that there was something about me that she never knew.)

A couple of them have strong religious and political views that are the exact opposite of mine. That has never stopped us from being very close friends - but a liberal atheist who also likes to piss on people? That would just be too much for them to handle.

And lets not forget everyone's favorite question: "But why BDSM? You have always been so kind, intelligent, loving, honest, caring, etc."
As if the same person could not possibly embody all these qualities and be a Sadist at the same time.

Overall, it is just simpler to avoid the conversation.