Non sexual daily tasks

Dom Pinnacle​(dom male) • May 14, 2022

COOKING!!!!! I am finding it very difficult to find a woman that is a tiny bit interested in cooking, shopping, and meal planning. All things that go into preparing a meal. I do it because I have to, as a single man. Of course I meet women that CAN cook. But most of them enjoy it as much as I do, which is not very much. It's been a long time since I've been with a woman that actually enjoys cooking, is good at it, and is submissive.

When I was with a woman that enjoyed cooking, it was beautiful. Walking in the house and catching the aroma of whatever she was preparing was incredible. It was non sexual but such a turn on. Now I'm sitting here working on a new meal plan (keto) and I long for that sweet submissive that enjoys cooking for her man. The way to a man's heart is through his......

TheTempest​(sub female){Mister Az} • May 15, 2022

I send three pictures throughout the day. My animal prefers one upon waking and one before bed and I send another sometime in the middle. He likes to visualize how I look at different times during my day. I admit, sometimes I get busy and he is gracious enough to let it slide.

I have affirmations to repeat in the mirror upon waking. It’s a reminder that I am wanted, craved and desired.

I let him know when I leave for work and when I arrive and also when I leave work and head home ( I have a bit of a commute).

I show him my to do list for the week. He gives me reminders and checks in on my progress. He also gives me reminders to slow down and take it easy.

Sometimes other tasks pop up depending on what we have discussed throughout the day. We are pretty much in constant contact. I appreciate that he doesn’t micro manage and I trust him implicitly.

I hope this helps somewhat. Good luck.

DCDom​(dom male) • May 16, 2022

Your tasks will of course vary based on your relationship type, talents, and personal Limits, but some ideas might be...

1. Engage with one of your Dom's favorite things each day. Watch one video of a Youtuber He likes. Listen to one song off an album He likes. Etc. This will educate the sub and, when discussing it later, keep the Dom's mind on positive subjects.

2. Exercise! Good for everyone to do, and keeps you mentally and physically ready for Him.

3. Be His Alexa. Look up a thing He needs looked up. Fill out that boring tax form. Pre-purchase tickets to that new Marvel movie. Wait on hold on that annoying phone call for Him. Find and send His dad a Father's Day gift. Little things that come up like that. Some say this makes them feel like a secretary. Some like that.

4. A daily compliment.

5. Sub's shoes go under the bed. That way, sub has to kneel before going outside or after coming inside. This gets the sub in subspace and, hopefully, reminds them of their Dom and makes them happy.

ItsCircadian​(dom male){Shadowrave} • May 17, 2022

YOGA: Yoga is an amazing practice with many benefits. Having a sub conduct a yoga routine on a daily basis could be the foundation or culmination of other rituals and/or protocols. In addition to the health benefits, it could be a good time to have your sub slow down and enter a more meditative state. All pros in my experience. Not to mention the lovely view .

Tucked Tail​(sub female) • May 17, 2022

If your sub is struggling with mental health gentle reminders and encouragement to do simple things like remember to get out for some sun today or a reminder to take their meds (if they have some) done in a right way it could show you really cared about their well being.

ItsCircadian​(dom male){Shadowrave} • May 17, 2022

I agree and support this 100%.
Sometimes the smallest actions can make the most profound impacts for the better regarding mental health. In my relationships, this is the type of attention and support I strive to provide. Many of the non-sexual tasks do indeed serve the purpose of promoting and maintaining the physical and mental well-being of my sub(s).

Valore • May 28, 2022

Great topic!
For a lot of people... these tasks that require no sexuality can actually be the foundation, or anchor. Plus... they're fun and involving. It develops communication, dedication, care, responsibility, etc.

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My own experience related to tasks was actually met way before I even knew what bdsm was. It's a small story...

I had met a couple who seemed a bit eccentric to me and other vanilla at the time. The dom/me (staying generic) unfortunately had health complications out of their control and passed away, while the sub was left without knowing what to do. They were both very good friends of mine and I had no idea they were anything like a dynamic... bdsm... lifestyle etc. Just one close friend to another.
In order to help keep the sub from giving up on their life and keep looking for what made them happy... I offered my help.
I knew that the sub had problems acclimating/organizing their life and depended on the dom/me for direction in improving their quality of life, so that was what we agreed on in the end. Of course, they tried to not involve me, but I was adamant about not letting the sub choose the worse course of action if I had left them alone.
Our involvement was much like what a counselor or therapy instructor would do... tasks.
((P.s. the sub already found a new dom/me now and is very happy.))
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The tasks:
-to give me a list of what they knew had to be done each day.
I would make a more detailed check list that added things like "send me a picture of the item bought" or "message me your thoughts after you write it in a journal."
We would discuss the pros and cons together while adding jokes to keep the mood up. (Helped to calm them down since they felt security in lists that required a bit extra of them like contemplation. To contemplate made sure they developed a mind of their own and kept them improving on themselves.)

-message me when they arrived at the place they were supposed to go. Message me when they were leaving and their thoughts. (Keeping track of their promise to do what is necessary and keep them responsible for it.)

-Message me their thoughts if they felt scared, lonely, tired, etc. (Giving them a safe place and person to confide in and helping them express/organize their thoughts so they could better understand themselves. It helped me know if it was a day where I needed to be more gentle in my approach or if I needed to step back to allow them not to become dependent on me.)

-Message me during each meal to let me know what they were eating and pictures as proof.(they wouldn't eat healthy normally) Before eating they were required to think about themselves and message me one good or positive thing they thought of, if they couldn't think of one, they'd repeat this after the meal until they thought of one.
(Keeping their outlook positive and to help improve their mood, plus it helped me to understand whether food choices changed their behavior)

-Doing things to help me in my life, like driving me somewhere if I needed it. (I was young, so no license yet) (this kept them in the mindset of being an asset to another instead of feeling guilty for recieving help. It let us have time to be together for hugs which they needed to calm them down for reassurance purposes. It was also when we would go somewhere to hang out as friends. I could ask them to come with me to hang out with our mutual friends as well, which kept them social so they didn't hide inside themselves as an escape.)
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All of these and more were things that simultaneously improved their quality of life while keeping them happy.


Hope it helps.