s types engaging a D type

Literate Lycan(dom male)

2 years ago • Sep 9, 2022

I've seen this pop up before in other conversations. Typically from the other side of the slash. A submissive asking what is the appropriate manner to address someone and immediately a host of well-intended but draconian responses. Perhaps we can all agree that any popinjay "demanding" a title upon first salvo of messages is ridiculous, but really it literally depends upon the people interacting and how comfortable they feel as they are getting to know one another. If some individual demands a title or honorific on day one, that might be a great indicator that the individual isn't the right fit . . . or maybe the perfect fit. Each to their own.

I'm not a titles individual. Names and nicknames established within a dynamic work, but that is any relationship. Regularly I am called "sir" by literally everyone because of who I am - not because of anything in the lifestyle. So although "Sir" and "Ma'am" are accepted as terms of reference in relationships, they are also acceptable terms of respect used in society. I see absolutely nothing wrong with anyone using them in common discussion or when interacting with a new person.

Yes - they have additional connotations within the lifestyle when dynamics form and that is beautiful. And maybe terms such as Master, Maestro, or whatever are earned - but how they are earned is literally dependent upon those using them.

When a relationship develops and the dynamic formulates, then the meaning of the words evolve into something much more. I have other Dominants refer to me as sir and I in return in polite conversation but that in no way implies any sort of hierarchy so much as equal footing and polite interaction.

I do agree wholeheartedly that when first interacting with a new individual, it is very acceptable to simply refer to them by name (or nick name) until both individuals organically reach a point where terms, titles and such may evolve.

Estaria(sub female)

2 years ago • Sep 9, 2022

I'mME wrote:

Estaria,

You did not do anything wrong in your first comment thanking people. NOT ONE THING WRONG.
Please do not ever apologize for being who you are, because that can become a habit. And then you can start to devalue yourself, what you feel and think will become less important, until one day you will have ceased feeling and thinking for yourself. Always follow that voice inside you, let it develop and your comment of thanks came from your heart. Do not let anyone take any of that from you, so you understand what I am writing about?

❤️

Thank you, I understand.

I'mME

2 years ago • Sep 9, 2022

[quote="Estaria"]

I'mME wrote:

Thank you, I understand.

[/quote

You are welcom. I am always around if you need a sounding board, or a laugh....
Have a good day.

B L O N D I E(sub female)

2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022

I have a question for everyone on both sides of the slash. I have been under consideration with a dominant who gave me an order to call all men Sir and all women Ma'am in all areas of life. This consideration has now ended and I'm on my own again. I'm thinking of keeping this habit simply because I am happy with the effect it's having on my life and my daily interactions with people. What would you think if you encountered this in a sub who did it not as an unearned honorific but simply as a matter of daily personal presentation in the world? Thank you in advance for your opinions.

I'mME

2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022

HisCora wrote:

hisCora,

People do not know you identify as a sub in every day life. This is what you are referring to, when writing about keeping it?
If you like it, then I believe you should keep it.
You do not need anyones permission to adopt a habit or break a habit my friend. Empower yourself.

Of course, what do I know?

Literate Lycan(dom male)

2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022

HisCora wrote:

Hey HisCora, I think it's your call. If I encountered it in anyone, sub, Dom, vanilla, simply as a daily personal presentation or even as a polite and respectful term in the world, I would consider it simply polite. And I would find it nice.
LL

B L O N D I E(sub female)	B L O N D I E(sub female) 2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022 2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022 B L O N D I E(sub female) • Sep 10, 2022 Thank you, Sir.

NobleRedbeard(dom male)	NobleRedbeard(dom male) 2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022 2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022 NobleRedbeard(dom male) • Sep 10, 2022 Agreed. It's not terribly uncommon for someone to address others as sir or ma'am when out and about. I view it as polite and cordial whenever it happens to me. When it is intended as anything other than a polite greeting, you can definitely tell.

CSI

2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022

HisCora wrote:

Thank you, Sir.

So just pointing out (not to be negative or detract), sir should only be capitalized when you are talking about your specific dominant (or at the beginning of a letter or in a title). So "Sir" would be an honorific and "sir" would be good manners. Just a grammatical nuance that could be misinterpreted by some people.

B L O N D I E(sub female)

2 years ago • Sep 10, 2022

Thank you, Ma'am, but I disagree. I write professionally and Sir, Ma'am, Captain, Lieutenant, Colonel, Mr. President, and other titles are capitalized regardless of context when used to address the person in question. They are uncapitalized when used with an article such as "a colonel" or "the captain". My professional opinion.