New sub

Honeymaey​(sub female) • Oct 22, 2022

@chalybe I want that as well.

Honeymaey​(sub female) • Oct 22, 2022

@Chalybe I want that as well.

B L O N D I E​(sub female) • Oct 22, 2022

I should probably qualify my previous comment by saying that the other part of a dominant's job is to empower his sub by guiding her to become stronger and better able to stand on her own. It's a balancing act between encouraging her to lean on him as well as to become more independent and better able to handle situations and difficulties without depending on him.

Empowering one's sub usually involves encouragement, coaching, and guidance, though, not just pushing her away and calling her needy. That doesn't help at all and usually makes the sub more dependent, not less so.

Miki​(masochist female) • Oct 22, 2022

Please. Never put "New Sub".... You'll be hip deep in horn dog's

Lovingly Strict​(switch female) • Oct 23, 2022

You're being used.
He's getting what he wants without giving anything in return. Communication and trust are essential. You aren't getting either of those. At the same time, he takes your nudes and runs with them.

I'mME • Oct 26, 2022

Honeymaey,

Hi, how long did you know him, how long before he asked you to be in a dynamic?

I will tell you this, telling a sub they are needy and then proceeding to ignore them is crap. It is not something a caring Dom would never say to their sub.

I'mME • Oct 26, 2022

B L O N D I E

TRUTH

Honeymaey​(sub female) • Oct 26, 2022

We are working through it.

I'mME • Oct 26, 2022

Honeyaey,

He apologized then? And has a a plan for going forward?

Solace​(dom male) • Oct 27, 2022

Hello Honeymaey, its obvious you care and want this to succeed. It still can and it might not depending on if he has valid reasons or not. As others have noted long distance is difficult. Here's some insight from my own experiences:

1.) Dom burnout, do some independent reading on this. In short its exactly how the name sounds, the Doms desire to dominate wane's to some degree. The cause could be life circumstances entirely out of your control, i.e. hard time at work or the passing of a loved one. Alternatively It can be from them giving more energy than they are capable of to their Sub. Example, I've had long distance girls who while charming wanted constant messages and phone calls. It eventually burned me out. The take away is not that its your fault, its that as your sub you are responsible for learning your Dom as much as he is you. Identify the space he needs and give it to him, which may mean reducing your messages for a little bit if this is the case.

2.) Communication, Long distance relationships are all about this. If the communication isn't constantly good though, it can start to feel like the relationship is stagnating since this is the only way to bond. This is especially challenging if a pair lack common interests they would need to be friends outside of a dynamic. Another problem which can occur is if girls are especially submissive. I may not be able to speak for all Doms here but girls who entirely obedient and lack bratty characteristics and wit can be very challenging to have memorable and entertaining conversations. I myself have also experienced this, and my solution is typically good morning/night rituals combined with kinky activities for us socialize over. If the girl never learns to or tries entertain me in turn, my interest can wane.



I don't know your dynamic. Its entirely possible the Dominant is using you. Yes. However, you selected this man as your Dominant. You put trust in him, and it sounds like you still do. It seems reasonable to trust he has a reason rather than bad intentions. See if you can find out the why, and if you either can't or you can't solve the problem I would say move on.