Is this normal?

LordofPain56 • Apr 30, 2023

100% completely agree with BLONDIE's post. I've been suspicious for YEARS that someone made up that term "sub-drop" to hide the fact that casual encounters (whether online or in-person) are unfulfilling and make the participants feel somewhat cheated out of a valuable experience with a partner who cares.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Apr 30, 2023

Drop exists as an after effect of play among many, regardless of whether its a casual or more long term thing, and on all sides and the middle if the slash, but it’s important to take on board not everyone gets it, some only get it with some types of play, some all. Its common enough that its well written about now, only recently in regards to the top side of the slash getting it.

I get drop regardless of whether its casual play, or within a long term dynamic. My current doll gets it a few days after play, previous two play partners one didn’t get it often, and one not at all. Of those I have been involved with since getting involved in kink, nearly all have got drop, only a few not at all.

So it exists and seems to be as a result of how the body/mind deals with the energy and body chemistry produced during scenes/play. I personally don’t think long term dynamics, within any particular framework is a factor as to why some get it, and some don’t, I think its more to do with individual biology but certain external factors might be part of it, it’s something that needs formal, medical, scientific study.

Bunnie • May 1, 2023

It’s a big hit of dopamine. We speak often about the emotional aspects. The basic fundamentals are that chemically (physiologically), we literally do “drop” from the “happy highs” we get from play/stress (intensity)/feel goods.

Drink water, eat nourishing foods, journal, check-in with someone you trust. Sit with it, and let it pass. It will pass

GypSyRoSes​(other female){♾} • May 2, 2023

Oops LoL

Miki​(masochist female) • May 2, 2023

Just my 2 cents on this one independant of what has already been written.

I never experienced "sub drop" but that's only slightly relevant.

Thing is, personally, I have no use for "online scenes" if you mean you and he were in seperate locations. (Scenes done in person and shown online to a select audience are another story altogether, but that probably goes under the category of amateur porn.)

That would mean you doing things to yourself as instructed. But in my opinion that's just glorified masturbation, which I can do just fine without direction from someone over a computer or phone. ---Minus the self-slapping or whatever else. Just plain rubbing 'em off or humping a bed post --very carefully and with a perfectly smooth bed post---- splinters are buzz-kills...

But once you were done, that was it. Maybe some conversation but afterwards you're all alone. Of course you got what they call "sub drop"

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • May 4, 2023

Yes, this reaction is perfectly normal. What it *means* for you, your partner, and your relationship with bondage is up to you, and will take a great deal of self-reflection. My guess would be that these melancholic feelings stem from separation after the scene is done, as the end of an online scene just means finding yourself suddenly alone in your room after a great deal of emotional intensity.

But that's me. I'm not you, I'm not in your head, and I'm not privy to how you're feeling or why deep inside. Only you can answer that.