Blank Profiles

Xsky​(switch female) • Mar 15, 2024

My experience with blank profiles is their message always start with “Hey Beautiful” and we all know how I feel about that. 🤢
I have found they are here for hookups. It’s one of the reasons I left for while. So glad I am back!
There are the rare 1% that are new or shy and feeling the site out.
But I do feel if they have been here for awhile and it’s still blank it’s a red flag 🚩

Innocent Me​(sub female){Protected} • Mar 15, 2024

I had a profile here about a year and a half ago, it really is very different now. I remember the first time around I had a lot of very very helpful and friendly older Doms that helped me out so so so much. When I came back this time almost all of them were gone or haven't logged on in months. It made me sad.

TopekaDom​(dom male) • Mar 15, 2024

I've been dealing with online profiles for decades now:
Here,
Fet,
Alt.com (believe it or not, there was a time when it was worth a shit)
Bondage.com (The original, not the crap that is up now)

So I have been dealing with blank profiles for quite awhile now. But on the other hand, I am old and cranky.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 15, 2024

Mine is deliberately thin. Basic info and that's it because I am not in here to make connections. I only read and reply (as applicable) to forum threads and respond to IM and DMs. Nothing more nothing less. Not looking, and that will not change. And... big surprise, it's not a requirement to be "looking" to be in here.

-----------------------------------------

But another fan favorite is a notification of someone who "loves your profile"-- This just happened recently, I clicked the name to return the gesture and got "Profile Does Not Exist"

Doesn't bother me in the least, but one would think that notification would disappear if a member closes their account or once in a while gets kicked out.

TwinkleEyes{N/A} • Mar 17, 2024

I agree there are plenty who just want to read. Most of my time here over the years has been that. I explored the kinks in the real time. Not the mind stuff though. I’ve spent years reading here, books, and some online classes. The mental stuff was the biggest hurtle for me. I’m considered successful being submissive was seen as weak to how I was raised. Dynamics are where my roots are at. The kinky sexual stuff just follows the mind.

What about those who only have a BDSM checklist only? What does that speak to you from your point of view? These are the profiles I’ve seen more of the couple of years.

Miki​(masochist female) • Mar 17, 2024

(Quote Shortened to address one point. )

Yes I have seen those too. I never did one of those checklists and as I am not active physically in this, I don't see the need. But yes those checklists seem to be on more than a few profiles. I believe "to each their own"- I don't critique profiles for length, content or depth. Mine is, as I wrote earlier, deliberately thin. Basic shit-- because as I am "not looking" only basic high (or low) points are all anyone needs.

MadPoet • Mar 17, 2024

Maybe is just because of post like this ? Like someone said in another message, some people just want to read and not interact at all because of the ego of certain people thinking they’re being stalked or something.

Relax people, not everyone wants interactions, specially after reading some profiles and their godlike deliriums of superiority and power.

Chill out people, and learn to RESPECT others choices

QuietIsNotShy​(dom male) • Mar 17, 2024

I guess the first thing that went through my mind when you stated "blank profile" is not having a profile pic. I know that's not the case now, but for the record, I think what I was originally going to say still has some merit to the actual profile and not just the profile pic. For the record, the uploadavatar.php page doesn't seem to want to work for me, so I'm still stuck with not having a profile pic. Any advice?

Anyway, while I think those with completely blank profiles generally are not completely honest with themselves about why they're here, I also try to be patient and welcoming to others even if their profiles are blank. Whether or not you believe this community is welcoming, it's still pretty scary opening yourself up to criticism and judgment, even from strangers. This is especially true of people who enjoy a kinky lifestyle because mainstreamers often see us as being deviant, so a lot of us have faced some pretty harsh judgment before. You never know who you're going to meet here, and though we'd like to think we'd never judge other community members for being themselves, new people probably haven't yet had a chance to see that.

The truth is that we all judge - we're judging right now, in fact, with this thread. That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing because it's creating a dialogue and giving people a space to discuss a mature issue. Vanilla people certainly judge for vanilla things, and that judgment doesn't stop at the bedroom. Some people want to ease into the pool instead of diving in, and I think it's important to be okay with that. Blank profiles aren't hurting you, after all. Just ignore them until they flesh things out. Similarly, profiles without much on them may not tickle your fancy, but that person might be hitting their limit of revelation when you read their profile

ReanaP​(sub female){Spoken for} • Mar 17, 2024

Can I clarify, is the post aimed for blank profiles in general, or blank profiles which send messages?

GiannaRay​(sub female) • Mar 17, 2024

My reply was from the point of view -people who have sent me messages. So these frequent cases were definitely from people who weren’t here just to read.