How to help spinning sub

silentnotes​(sub female) • Jan 11, 2025

I have similar issues, something that helps me is grounding myself, either with comfortable smells or music. Letting music or videos or something play in the background also helps. Touch can also be grounding. The main thing most of the time is to create a relaxing environment and learn how to settle down. You can always ask your partner if there's something you can do for them, that's the best thing to do.

Pablogan​(dom male) • Jan 11, 2025

Many people have shared great ideas already, but I want to add something that has worked for me. I listen to a specific type of podcast with earbuds as I go to sleep. I use an old iPod with wired earbuds to listen to old-time radio mystery and detective shows. I set the sleep timer on the iPod for 15 minutes, and I am usually out in like five.

The shows are engaging enough to take my attention away from any thoughts that might be spinning through my head, but they are not so engaging that they keep me awake. Of course, the content would be different for a different people. But the key is that it is slightly engaging, but not stress inducing, or super engaging. Perhaps you could even record your voice walking her through relaxation techniques, or reading a book.

mysterysoul​(masochist female) • Jan 12, 2025

You also have to allow the heart to grow fonder to give each other space and time limit how long you are talking late.

Turning off the phone keeping the phone away when they are sleeping or any tech stuff so it does not interrupt any sleep.
Structure and good routine going to bed at good hour taking a nice something bath or shower before bed.

Toss the mattress over every month. Clean bedding and sheets throw sheets in the dryer before bed. lavender linen spray and spray on the sheets and pillow to help go to sleep. Layered blankets help also sleep well. Putting a fan by the bed a noise putting a blanket around the head or putting another pillow under the other pillow. Sleep naked helps you sleep with confidence and also gets you out of your comfort zone.

You need to limit call time make only a few hours when the day is over but you both need a good night's rest and dimmed light. Women need more sleep good healthy food and vitamins also good exercise to help them sleep.

Invest in some sheer walk around the house like that. Keeping self busy during the day that get sleepy go to bed early. Try to keep to text for some nights not til 5 am keep to 12 am or 10 pm.

ADHD people have to use layered blankets feel like something is heavy bit on them and around the head a bit, not too much but have a face showing a blanket over their eyes like they are a bear in hibernation. Drink a small warm glass of milk before bed or warm tea and crackers. Watch some movies on the sofa til you go to sleep but lie down at some point you're going to fall asleep.


Make sure your room temperature is set right also to help you sleep. Baths for one can make person fall a asleep with lavender and epson salt and candil going with dimmed lights but if you fall asleep make sure the bath is not deep you have a timer on your phone go off not in the bath very long try to sit up a bit but til you get sleepy get out but stay in the bath sooth your body. Use a bed warmer to warm you up to help sleep. Find some kind of thing to help your bed vibrate to also help you sleep color lights help like night lights not everyone can sleep with the lights off. A stuffed animal or pillow and body pillow to help sleep. Go for a run or walk outside or go up and down the stairs a few times til you feel worn out.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Jan 12, 2025

Thank you everyone, I'm reading through all the suggestions and ideas and I'm going to talk them over with her. I hope some of them help a lot. Really appreciate your responses!

Cello Trance​{for You} • Jan 12, 2025

I don’t know if this will help and maybe it won’t. I’ve seen a reply that mentions ASMR… I am a Hypno Dom, a hypnotist, and I put her to sleep each and every night with calming words and phrases, but of course, many of these are trigger words that induce trance and calming sleep .

Of course, I also usually give her a bunch of hypnotically induced orgasms beforehand to wear her out… But again, this is a specialty that I have and not everyone has… But ASMR or a hypnotherapist may be able to help

intenseoldman​(dom male) • Jan 12, 2025

Guided sleep meditations. If her mind is racing her mind has something to focus on besides it's own thoughts. There are several guided sleep meditations you can search for, but here's and example. https://youtu.be/-40Tgg07J9A

roughandtumbler​(sub female) • Jan 12, 2025

My counselor helped me to compartmentalize anxious thoughts and spiraling anxiety. He gave me the homework assignment to make myself not think anxious thoughts for a specific time (10 minutes to begin) and to never solve problems at night. Just being given those parameters helped me to put a boundary on when I could think those thoughts and eventually I was able to move away from anxious thinking at night and I sleep much better. It takes time but it helps eventually.

A Minx • Jan 13, 2025

All excellent advice from others here and I def plan on hitting all the links people provided too (I love informational stuff!) and I completely agree about meditation, it really does help! But, at least for me it is, at times, difficult or time consuming and it takes a LOT of dedication and effort to keep a meditation routine... sometimes and for a myriad of reasons one just cannot always reap the benefits or obtain a good meditation session. Sooo, when I really have a problem trying to sleep and (for whatever reasons) just can't spend the effort, time or whatever I try doesn't work for me I use a very simple trick: I wash my feet in cold water, pat them dry and jump right into bed... it works almost every time! Washing your feet in cold water helps to calm the nervous system. Hope this helps and sweet dreams!

Shewolf • Jan 13, 2025

There are a lot of good suggestions here. One thing I would add when it comes to trying to ease the mind, especially when trying meditation, is to practice it without judgment of oneself. Meaning, if she finds her mind wandering, she can try to reset and start again without being critical of herself for not being able to be present in that moment. That was a piece of advice I found helpful. Meditation can be difficult when we are experiencing higher levels of anxiety.

Some people may also find yoga before bed helps as well. I first tried an app called Bend that I liked. I will say that I do not remember what all the free version of it has to offer. I made the decision to subscribe because I liked it so much.

Another resource I found helpful was the Huberman Lab podcast - specifically the guest series featuring Dr. Matt Walker. It focuses on sleep health. They discuss a lot of options to try.

I also think it's important to remember how everyone is different. Perhaps having a chat with her about what else she has considered or could be interested in trying would be nice. Though it seems like you are taking her comfort into consideration already. Best of luck to you both!

lambsone • Jan 13, 2025

A therapist I once had showed me how to practice mindfulness to sleep better. Once you lay down, you focus on each part of your body and if it isn't relaxing itself, relax it yourself. I found that I was actually clenching my teeth and jaw and also stiffening my body. Who could sleep like that anyway ... hahaha. Once I relaxed those areas, I fell asleep. But once I retired from that rotten job I had, then I could really sleep.

Warm milk has helped me. If white milk isn't desired then maybe chocolate. Eltryptophan is the key thing in it that induces sleep.

I've also felt calmer when my ɓedsheets were warm as though right out of the dryer.