*WELCOME to THE CAGE!* Introduce Yourself Here

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 12, 2019

If you've joined us recently we'd love to hear from you. Please say hello here.

SailorDom​(dom male) • Dec 12, 2019

44 year old, dominant male. I've been into the lifestyle for a long time now. Finding a real, full-time, actual Dom/sub relationship is something of a dream, but modern women have proven to be too diluted with feminist ideology. Barring that, I'm not looking for cybersex. Mostly just here to chat and make friends.

Dubbomale​(dom male) • Dec 14, 2019

i can help you with that

LostVanilla • Dec 14, 2019

A little over two months ago I came home to find my partner of 14.5 years, married for the last 5.5, in the fetal position on our bed, completely emotionally shut down. He told me that he has been in a relationship with another woman for the last three years. She lives in the UK and didn't know about me, either. He said that he was/is deeply in love with her. With both of us. And that he was struggling with the guilt and shame of it to the point of suicidality. He is still in love with both of us, but he ended our marriage a few days later because the magnitude of the transgression and the trauma that his infidelity has caused us both has led him to be consumed with self-hatred when he feels feelings of love toward me. And also because he is so bewildered by his own behavior over the past few years that he is having a pretty intense identity crisis.

He would like for us to be friends. However, he has decided to try to continue his relationship with her, in part because he feels the transgression there is lesser in magnitude, and because he feels that continuing their relationship will help him to overcome his suicidal thoughts. I found out a few weeks ago that a huge part of his initiating the affair is that there are a number of sexual exploration areas in the BDSM realm that she would do with him that he knew I wouldn't. He identifies as a Dom and a Daddy, and she is his little. I learned that he is apparently into all kinds of things I never knew about. He never told me. Things that I have to admit I wouldn't have explored with him. And I learned that he has in the past felt ashamed when he tried things with me and I didn't respond in the ways he was hoping. I have also felt ashamed in the past, because I couldn't do the things with him that he wanted.

He has been hiding this important part of his identity from me for years and struggling with it tremendously. He was and is convinced that we are sexually incompatible. And that his only choice is to fall out of love with me and be with her. He has also made clear that he is actively and intentionally trying to fall out of love with me, because it hurts too much to continue to feel those things towards me. I am deeply hurt by him closing that door to me and by their continued relationship and feel pulled in several different directions and incredibly confused. And concerned about his mental health. And angry.

I feel like I barely know this man. And I feel completely erased. Rejected. Cast aside. Like our love wasn't real and I have been living a lie. In the past two months I have bought a car, basically left medical school, found a new apartment, and spent nearly a quarter of my life savings. I am seeing a therapist and struggling with desperately missing my husband and best friend, fear of being alone, occasional panic attacks, and all of the intense feelings of inadequacy that come from infidelity.

But it was real. For a long time it really was real, and we loved each other deeply. I know this in my heart, and he tells me this too. I am finally starting to come to terms with the fact that we are incompatible, and we are trying to save something from this. A friendship, if we can. I am here because I want to understand him better. I am a vanilla, and I know this now. And I hope it isn't unfair to ask this, but I am hoping that the Cage community will help me to better understand him, and understand what happened between us. I still love him more than anyone in the world. We've been best friends since the day we met, and if I can have him in my life and love him as something else that I will take that over nothing at all. Thank you for listening.

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 15, 2019

Welcome to everyone who has joined us this weekend!

violet vice​(dom male) • Dec 16, 2019

Hi im new to the scene as you could guess. Excited to hear opinions from people who have been here for awhile. Would anyone be able to direct me to where i would be able to post some questions about some of the finer points about the community i wasn’t able to find by myself.

Gowl​(sub male) • Dec 16, 2019

Hello, I am Gowl. I am 22 years old at the time of writing this and I am semi-new to the world of kinks. Ever since I was 8 years old I've had interest but only recently have I acted upon some of those desires. My favorite things are bondage, and role playing.

I write a lot of erotica too. It helps me to express my desires and even go deeper to the stuff that really gets me excited but that I'd never want to happen in real life.

pipchick​(sub female){Taken} • Dec 16, 2019

Hi all - hope everyone is doing okay

I am poking around, checking the place out. It'd be nice to find some places Daddy and I can hang about online together. This may well be one of them.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Greetings

acatxtreme • Dec 16, 2019

Hello forum.
My GF and I are new. And we are reading everything we can about me being her sub.

Villanelle​(staff) • Dec 18, 2019

Welcome everyone! Thanks for joining us!