Who’s here seeking dom/sub relations (online) that they’re hiding/can’t have at home?

ropefish • Dec 13, 2018

@docile damsel Well. Poly's also an option.

I feel like I could never get everything I need from just one person, no matter who they are.

Devil's damsel​(sub female)​{HandsomeDe} • Dec 13, 2018

Poly is most certainly an option. My attempt at it in the past failed miserably, but the situation was unfair and destined to fail.

As far as the husband goes, well he’s an ex now and doesn’t matter anymore really ?

I’m just sharing based on my own experiences. This is finally a subject around here I actually know something about and can share some perspective on lol

Bunnie • Dec 13, 2018

@ nawazakana, whilst I’m most definitely an advocate of poly... I’m not an advocate for using it to try to fix a damaged relationship. If you can’t do one on one well... introducing others before that is repaired, creates a nightmare.
Whilst poly is definitely a possibility... I wouldn’t say it is, until a very clear and honest line of communication has been established.

ropefish • Dec 13, 2018

@Bunnie

You are very right. You are absolutely right.

I don't know, in basically all of my relationships we'd get to a point where I wasn't getting what I needed or I was interested in someone else, and I always spoke to them openly about it and in multiple cases my partners have tried open relationships with me as a result of those conversations. It's probably not the healthiest thing, no, but to me it was always a better option than cheating on them or leaving them. I guess I tend to look at it as the least of three evils, but that's not necessarily in the best interest of the other person.

Didn't mean to get off topic with such an introspective post, but I guess it's somewhat related haha.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme)​{Allie Kat} • Dec 14, 2018

Trying to find yourself still isn't a reason to cheat.

There is /never/ a reason to cheat.

If you need to "rediscover" yourself and that involves seeing other people you need to get out of your relationship because you are no longer being loyal and that isnt fair to your partner.

Unless your partner is okay with an open relationship. Because then it isnt cheating, as you've talked and they've given consent to sleep around.

Either talk to your partner or give them the respect of leaving because you arent willing to include them in your life. Even if they arent being respectful, you need to be the bigger person and do the right thing.

Communication, communication, communication.

Cheating/never/ solves relationship problems. It only creates them. It's a selfish thing to do.

I also agree that while poly is an option they are /not/ at a place where it would work. If they're already having problems, adding in a third person will most likely not solve anything. Could it? Perhaps. But the chances are insanely slim and it shouldn't be counted on.

Alright guys

sweet november​(sub female) • Dec 14, 2018

Enough, let it go. Leave him be.

We know you are all against "cheating" so that's enough lecturing, you think?

Think it's easy, think you know, maybe you've been there in your life, well, that's your life, nobody elses.

So, unless you live with them, know the ins and outs,

I believe he was brave to ask this and bring it up


Now anyone else care to create a forum covering b their sins to be judged ummmm...I think the count is around 20 times now....

Brave enough? Or too perfect.

For the advice threads thank you, for the judging, pfffttt....

Allie Kat​(sub trans woman)​{DarkFox} • Dec 14, 2018

Nah, there is a victim. They have every right and justification to stand up for the victim. You are defending the person who is hurting the victim. You are on the wrong side.

Also, trying to shame them for standing up for the victim? It really looks like everyone here has been /really good/ about being /gentile/ toward this abuser. People aren't saying what they really want to say, in an effort to actually make the situation better. What people want to say is "hey you chuldish, selfish prick, stop abusing your wife! Grow some balls and deal with this like a man!"

Also, how dare you judge them? You have no idea what they have been through. I know personally that i have been through harder situations than what he is describing. I have also been the selfish asshole who cheated, as well as have been the victim of it. This was posted publically, i and everyone else has the /right/ and even the /responsibility/ to condemn or discourage these actions in the interest of protecting or helping a victim. Where do you get off?

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme)​{Allie Kat} • Dec 14, 2018

Not to mention, when you post in an /open forum/, you have to prepare yourself for /whatever/ happens. I've had numerous topics completely derail and I've accepted that.

And everyone here, as Wolfy said, has been posting opinions trying to help out, instead of being outright judgy. I stated numerous times what he can do instead of cheating. If he doesn't want to listen, that's on him. As for the rest of my responses, I have full rights to answer people who have talked to me/state my opinion on the conversations going on here. Pretty much everything here has been discussed to get to the bottom of the original question asked.

sweet november​(sub female) • Dec 14, 2018

Where do n you get off on being holier than thou?
Where do you get the right to say that you have been through worse things than him?
You don't know that.


You say you cheated? Well I'll go with the theme here of judging "once a cheater always a cheater"
Or is that too general and judgemental of a statement?

You opened yourself up on a forum so I can say it.

That's where I get off on trying to say how many times does a person need to be judged or berated before you are satisfied?

By the way, I didn't say everyone was judging, I also mentioned the advice was helpful or something along that line. . So I'm not sure why you are so sensitive and attacking me.
I did not attack you personally.


So get mad, get mean. I was most certainly being empathetic for another human being. And I will not apologize for it.

And I also do not know the ins and outs of the situation not trying to discredit any "victims".

And I quote "victim" because I don't know the entire situation.
And, neither do you.

However, I don't like to see people hurting, in any way. It's a sad situation all around.

Wow just realized

sweet november​(sub female) • Dec 14, 2018

[quote="Wolfy13"]Nah, there is a victim. They have every right and justification to stand up for the victim. You are defending the person who is hurting the victim. You are on the wrong side.

Also, trying to shame them for standing up for the victim? It really looks like everyone here has been /really good/ about being /gentile/ toward this abuser. People aren't saying what they really want to say, in an effort to actually make the situation better. What people want to say is "hey you chuldish, selfish prick, stop abusing your wife! Grow some balls and deal with this like a man!"




You are calling this person an abuser. Wow. And you know this... how?

You have no clue or right to say such a thing.
This is very sad..