| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
I know this is going to sound judgmental on a site where judging is the only real taboo. Being a cuckold is where the line is crossed from submissive to low self esteem. To each his own, but it's no different to me than a girl with no self esteem letting her guy cheat on her repeatedly.
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
Closetedfreak wrote: I know this is going to sound judgmental on a site where judging is the only real taboo. Being a cuckold is where the line is crossed from submissive to low self esteem. To each his own, but it's no different to me than a girl with no self esteem letting her guy cheat on her repeatedly.
What I, personally, find disconcerting is that the OP used the term "FORCED bi". The idea of anyone being FORCED into performing any act they don't actually have a desire for makes me majorly uncomfortable. Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but words are damned important and should be carefully considered in any conversations but especially in a kink context. |
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: What I, personally, find disconcerting is that the OP used the term "FORCED bi". The idea of anyone being FORCED into performing any act they don't actually have a desire for makes me majorly uncomfortable. Maybe it's a matter of semantics, but words are damned important and should be carefully considered in any conversations but especially in a kink context. Agreed, it may be a matter of semantics but I have a little different attitude towards the matter of being "forced" into something. I am aroused by a dominant woman. To me, that means someone who can force me do as she wishes. I've cautiously tried to introduce vanilla girlfriends to this side of my sexuality at times and they inevitably demand I do something they know I want to do anyway (oral sex). That's all good but it really wasn't what I had fantasized about. The first true dominant I ran into demanded I use my tongue in another place. Now this is an activity I never really chose to do before, but the fact that she demanded I do it turned me on because it was clear she was not concerned with whether I wanted to do it or not, she just wanted it so she demanded it. I didn't desire to stick my tongue in her booty, had never done such a thing before, but I did desire a dominant woman. The word "forced" may be a bit strong but I could tell I had found what I fantasized about because she was prepared to force me to do as she pleased, whether I wanted to or not. Now I still have some hard limits, and if she tried to force me down that path it likely would lead to the kind of conflict that can end a relationship, but within my boundaries I prefer she use me as she wishes. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
Closetedfreak wrote: Agreed, it may be a matter of semantics but I have a little different attitude towards the matter of being "forced" into something. I am aroused by a dominant woman. To me, that means someone who can force me do as she wishes ...
The first true dominant I ran into demanded I use my tongue in another place ... it was clear she was not concerned with whether I wanted to do it or not, she just wanted it so she demanded it. I didn't desire to stick my tongue in her booty, had never done such a thing before, but I did desire a dominant woman. The word "forced" may be a bit strong but I could tell I had found what I fantasized about because she was prepared to force me to do as she pleased, whether I wanted to or not. That's fair. However, in light of this response on behalf of *yourself* and how *you* enjoy being forced to do something, I'm not sure why you expressed such a marked distaste over cuckolding. You made a very unflattering comparison about it actually. ? |
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: Closetedfreak wrote: Agreed, it may be a matter of semantics but I have a little different attitude towards the matter of being "forced" into something. I am aroused by a dominant woman. To me, that means someone who can force me do as she wishes ...
The first true dominant I ran into demanded I use my tongue in another place ... it was clear she was not concerned with whether I wanted to do it or not, she just wanted it so she demanded it. I didn't desire to stick my tongue in her booty, had never done such a thing before, but I did desire a dominant woman. The word "forced" may be a bit strong but I could tell I had found what I fantasized about because she was prepared to force me to do as she pleased, whether I wanted to or not. That's fair. However, in light of this response on behalf of *yourself* and how *you* enjoy being forced to do something, I'm not sure why you expressed such a marked distaste over cuckolding. You made a very unflattering comparison about it actually. ? I guess I see it quite differently. Like I said if it works for someone else that's their business but I don't see how anyone with any self esteem could be okay with their partner openly having sex with another. It's like those young women who are sold on the idea that it's okay for their husband to have several wives or cheat on them repeatedly. I just don't see how that works with a healthy self worth. Also if there are hopes of a prolonged relationship, (which may not be the goal for some) it's not a high percentage play. Sooner or later that pesky human nature gets in the way and it crashes and burns. Almost always. I hope you don't mind the frank discussion, some may not be in the mood and consider it preachy, which is not my intent. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
Closetedfreak wrote: I guess I see it quite differently. Like I said if it works for someone else that's their business but I don't see how anyone with any self esteem could be okay with their partner openly having sex with another. I just don't see how that works with a healthy self worth. I hope you don't mind the frank discussion, some may not be in the mood and consider it preachy, which is not my intent.
Since you don't mind frank discussions, I'll mention that a good number of people would have a hard time understanding how licking someone's butthole is a healthy expression of self esteem. Along with innumerable other things some of us do regularly as we pursue our various kinks. In short, sometimes people don't see the forest for the trees when it comes to defending their own brand while looking askance at another. My big thing is the use of the word "forced" as in - *she made me do it!* and that has been a recurrent theme in this discussion. |
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Jan 12, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: Since you don't mind frank discussions, I'll mention that a good number of people would have a hard time understanding how licking someone's butthole is a healthy expression of self esteem. Good point WytchyWoman wrote: My big thing is the use of the word "forced" as in - *she made me do it!* and that has been a recurrent theme in this discussion. [/quote] Serious question. How do you know you're really dominating someone if you don't make them do something they wouldn't otherwise want to do? If you demand I eat a cheeseburger, you have shown no control or dominance, I want to do that anyway. If you force me to eat sushi (totally overrated food stuffs), then you've shown some dominance. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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3 years ago •
Jan 13, 2022
Closetedfreak wrote: Serious question. How do you know you're really dominating someone if you don't make them do something they wouldn't otherwise want to do? If you demand I eat a cheeseburger, you have shown no control or dominance, I want to do that anyway. If you force me to eat sushi (totally overrated food stuffs), then you've shown some dominance.
Neither of my two doms ever felt the need to order me to eat a food I don't like or do anything else I find disagreeable just to prove how dominant they are. It's clear my definition of a dominant differs from your own. That's cool. |
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| Closetedfreak |
3 years ago •
Jan 13, 2022
WytchyWoman wrote: Closetedfreak wrote: Serious question. How do you know you're really dominating someone if you don't make them do something they wouldn't otherwise want to do? If you demand I eat a cheeseburger, you have shown no control or dominance, I want to do that anyway. If you force me to eat sushi (totally overrated food stuffs), then you've shown some dominance.
Neither of my two doms ever felt the need to order me to eat a food I don't like or do anything else I find disagreeable just to prove how dominant they are. It's clear my definition of a dominant differs from your own. That's cool. It was just an analogy. Making someone do something they want to do is not demonstrating any dominance. |
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Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker}
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3 years ago •
Jan 13, 2022
Closetedfreak wrote: It was just an analogy. Making someone do something they want to do is not demonstrating any dominance.
My response still stands. It's not in the least bit dominant - in MY eyes - to give an order to someone just to *prove* how much of a dom you are. It's reasonable to give someone an order to do something that needs to be done but has been neglected because they don't enjoy the task. It's reasonable to order someone to eat well, get sufficient rest and maintain proper hygiene even if they're feeling down or just lazy. It's reasonable to require that a submissive treat a dominant with respect and not talk back, cross their eyes and/or flip them off. And on and on ... |
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