Victim Blaming and Rape Culture in Kink

I'mME,

You're grandstanding.

I never said it was a ladies fault for being raped. I suggest you check your reading comprehension, re-read what I and others have written, slowly, word for word, out loud, several times.

I said, it was the mans responsibility to have his hard hat. An analogy to say that he is responsible for knowing how to keep himself safe and acting to keep himself safe. It is not his fault for being hurt, that blame resides with his coworker. We have the same policy in kink. Dom's keep the subs safe, but the sub is still responsible for knowing that they are being kept safe and acting to keep themselves safe. It is not a subs fault when they get hurt, but we should all be horridly ashamed of ourselves if we don't encourage and teach other people to learn and act in the interests of their own safety. This dialog that is being pushed right now, is harmful to everyone.

For these two topics threads in question...No where, anywhere has anyone said its a ladies fault for getting raped, said a topless photo is an invitation to be an asshole or even specifically defended men. These are all escalations that you and djinni have grasped without context by imputing your own bias into the discussion. I applaud djinni for taking a stand and saying rape and rape blaming are bad, because they are, but its also bad to slander others so casually. It's disservice to the people wrongly named, and a cheapening of the actual horrid acts.

You are absolutely correct that no one no knows the contents of that sweet girls message box. What you fail to grasp is you and and djinni are the only ones assuming the contents of the box. For all we know her messages are roses and chocolates, after all she left a positive review of them and nothing negative to say aside from quantity. I too believe there is a fair number of crude messages crammed in there, but it is neither my nor your right to judge the contents or what that sweet girl desired in them. Therefore there is no victim here, and there is no men to defend.

If she gets on today and say the experience is horrible, she hates it, and men are all so rude...the conversation flips. Everyone will support her. Right now there is no substance for this.

Solace


*We can also sit here and say victim blaming is a horrible thing, and in many instances it is terrible. However, a man who goes a construction site with out a hard hat on and gets injured should be blamed. As should the person who caused the accident*

Those are your words, (you contradict yourself and in such a nasty manner, insulting me as your usual behavior) and this is the words i commented back to.

I didnt make any subject up, you changed the subject in your nasty comment back to me.
When i have time i will read the rest of what i will gather is more of your BS insults to me, changing what was the actual words were.

I think it's time we all acted like adults and shut this thread down.

It has gone from a discussion over how to handle an overflowing inbox to bashing fellow members. Which is against site policy.

It is one thing to have a heated debate but a whole other ball park to attack each other.

Then you wonder why people don't write any more.

The behavior here only insures that people who want to voice an opinion or ask a question won't for fear of being attacked.