Submission: is it someone's choice or their nature?

tallslenderguy​(kinky male) • Aug 15, 2025

"Submission: is it someone's choice or their nature?"

Like some others in the conversation, i'd answer: "yes" (i.e. both). i think it's a great question, but also an ongoing question we need to ask the individual we are with, because it doesn't have a static or universal answer.

There is some study evidence that indicates some traits we deem "natural" are passed down genetically. But then, there is also evidence that demonstrates neural plasticity. So i doubt there can be a simple or concise answer to this question, even if we narrow it down to one individual?

And, one doesn't have to wander the conversations and blogs on la cage for too long to realize that submission is perceived individually, that there is no one size fits all definition. Like so many labels, it's a reference point to give us directions but it doesn't constitute the contents.

i do tend to believe that part of submission involves volition, so an act of submission, it seems to me, would always involve choice, even if one feels compelled by their nature to do so. It seems to me, the inclination/desire/need/_______ to submit is nature, the resultant acts of submission are choice.

Kelpi • Aug 15, 2025

It is both. I have known people who had hard outer shells and attitudes that would make the devil back down. I have also seen them kneel and bow at the feet of someone they had just met. Men who had a reputation of being badass and unlikeable meet a woman half their size and then change like they had no choice. One man changed so much his mom wanted to know what drugs she had used so she could change her other two sons. He was as close to being a sub without being one as you could get.

I have met many female subs and learn that once they found out what a sub was there was no going back. One told me her daughter had a male friend over to the house one day. She was 8 he 9. She told him to make her a sandwich. Then she told him to make it again as he did not do it right. When it was brought back to her she told him to it the bad one. He never said a word he just did as he was told. When mom asked her about it later the girl told her that was just they did. He was told what to do and he did it. Syea it is apart of you. You sometimes need to find the one who will bring it out of you.

It could be just one person or it could just be part of your everyday life. Either way learn to live with it and love it.