I think that switching is best.

Dunimos​(dom male) • Mar 4, 2020

Switching is not in my nature, even remotely.... handling an aggressor.. hmmm could be fun... if we are simply talking fun I've had conversations with other alpha male type and fell on some imagery that hit home for one friend.
We labeled it the King Kong scene play.
No one would argue that king Kong is not Dominate.... certainly his nature... but he is bound and subdued, only to eventually break free and re-capture his target prize.

So a creative mind could work out the great symbolism and Dominant energy in such a scene regardless if the Dom can really break free or not. I think there is a lot of room there.
However, like others have said.... it is not in my nature to be subdued by anything or anyone... ever and I am not sure I would enjoy or appreciate it very much at all.

notavanilla • Apr 20, 2020

Most people are focused on the power aspect of BDSM. OK, I know this exists. I don't necessarily subscribe to it but rather focus on the stimulus aspect of the pain/pleasure dynamic. BDSM has plenty of this available with bondage to go along with it. Plenty of space for stimulus and if satisfying and gratifying sex is a key point with you and your mate you may just want to call it training and leave the role play/mind games out of the sessions. You can do the training creatively if you have the trainer control the training. There would be little difference except when the session ends the control ends and both participants are equal.
I do have a different philosophy in that I want to be mated with a strong woman. I want to build her up because I am mated with her and by building her up I build us up collectively. I don't play protector from the world to her. She is part of the world and I together with her are unified collectively and take on life's challenges together as a team. We keep getting stronger and keep moving upwards floor by floor. We switch so we share in the training and include sex in every session. We are free to juggle the situation anytime. We could sub or dom as a couple and that opens up a lot of sexual encounters and adventures. Switching can leave a lot of possibilities open that others leave shut.
I personally could not ask my mate to do something that I would not do myself. I try to be fair and I can build trust because of it.
The thing that matters to most is trust. When you give yourself and your body to someone or mate you have to trust them. If you do then you can trust them to handle you and your body as part of a BDSM sexual session without limits. The need to degrade and demean is not needed and not present unless a mate asks for this. It seems to me that there is certainly love present in this and the overall experience.

I lost someone close to me and I have not found a new mate. It's hard but I cannot forget the experiences that were had and the dialogue what was present. Its best to have similar experiences and be able to talk about ( kicking it around ) it. I don't say this lightly. It can be the best whereas many won't touch it.

Mystery to me.
notavanilla