Question: How can you be a good Dom at 22 years old?

Taramafor​(sub male) • Nov 26, 2020

This.

DrKrall • Nov 26, 2020

I would say a 22 years old could be a good Dom. He can have just as much knowledge as someone older, he can have an ability to understand his sub and the sub's needs. What he might lack is experience, but if a 22 year old sub has been active since 18 it would mean he has more experience than a 40 years old who just jumped into this after reading 50 Shades.

When I started out it was extremely difficult to learn about BDSM. It was a secret knowledge and if you didn't know somebody who would introduce you to the right people you had to do a very hard work to even find out what you needed to learn, then find the information. Today BDSM clubs advertise, they have signs outside. The Internet has all the information you could need and then more. What took my generation years to find out can be learnt in a couple of minutes today.

So I would say young age might say something about a Dom but again it might not.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Nov 27, 2020

trapbunniebubs​: "Maybe that's just my age talking, but I honestly think that this older generation on Cage, or even just in regular dungeons, get too caught up in gate-keeping BDSM that is viewed as "serious", or "legitimate"

You are right. Gate-keeping is prevalent, (not abundant because many experienced people wear out and walk away from the task) but it is also necessary. However, not for the sake of seriousness or legitimacy. For me it's about safety. With the Internet you can learn anything or better said, learn how to 'speak' and drop the terms and sound knowledgeable. And if you're going to do a little spanking and such maybe that is enough, but I have seen some dangerous things take place based on what I call a 'guess your best' mentality.

I've also been a resource for bottoms who were mistreated under the pretense of this is "how we do it."

Like you I am not here to save the world. I put out my perspective and have a lot of private conversations with people who need to look at things with someone more experienced, but beyond that, they must choose on their own. I think the good thing about abundant information is it helps younger people come in stronger and with more intelligence but a few things will not change and us old gate-keepers will always remind you of the reality.

Much of what we do in this life that is called BDSM is:
illegal in some states
does not automatically fall under the grace of the concept of 'consentual'
can send you to the hospital or get you killed
can send you to jail
makes you chum in the water for saavy predators
can cost you your job, marriage, and custody of your kids (if you have them)
This is also a convenient realm for damaged folks to label something 'kink' and do a lot of harm.

And sure that is all serious and some will roll their eyes. But no on has to warn you of the happy ending.
No one has to say, prepare for guessing your way through a scene and no one gets hurt.

I'll also remind you that we are not all in this for the play. For many that play is part of the relationship and the power exchange that anchors it.

I'm a huge fan of time in. I respect the investment people put into achieving a Master level in anything. Sergeant, Carpenter, Black Belt. etc I am in a Masters program at school and it is all hard. It all takes time to get there, and a good deal of sacrifice. So when a very young man approaches me as a Master, I just don't buy it. There is no time in.

It's a great time for many since we have strong learning programs out there and when the pandemic lifts there will be weekend events again where people can learn the skill of throwing a whip, playing with other toys, or learning how achieve the caliber of Dominant or Master he seeks through the mentorship of other Dominants and Masters.

Personally, I am thrilled when younger women come along and spot when things are wrong and have the strength to walk away from it. That gives me hope.

H*

Exquisite​(sub female) • Nov 27, 2020

Only in my opinion when a young man has been responsible for self growth from the ripe age of sixteen; by working, raising his siblings or taking care of his parent(s) having to exercise adult decisions when he should have been playing with video games, dating, teenage parties etc., his desire, want or need to come full circle should not be deterred by older Dom’s.

On this site my Master/husband has spoken with a few young men to guide them while making sure this community is not misused for destroying a sub/slave.

To the Dom’s and subs on this site if you would kindly answer the text from one of the new young Dom’s and introduce them to a Dom in your life your actually contributing to the safety of other subs/slaves.

Only my opinion