Leda
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7 years ago •
Nov 1, 2017
The secret to finding all good relationships in life is to stop looking and focus on yourself. The kind of people you want to partner with and submit to are stable and independent, and stable independent people stay away from unstable dependent people. So stop trying to fix the holes in your life by plugging them with another person, and focus on becoming a whole and complete person who *doesn't need* a dominant and is happy on her own.
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Online now
Ragnhildbrat(sub female)
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7 years ago •
Nov 4, 2017
Because every thing worth having has to be momentarily sought after. Like anything good you have to weed out the fakes. I mean black Friday only happens once a year. Also take time if you think it is a good Dom for you then talk. Talking after getting to know each other should come easy. It might even relax you to hear the Doms voice. Know that communication is ? to this life style. Also if your new here meaning life style don't just look for a Dom look for a mentor or trainer these things are how you learn bdsm and understand it no one just jumped into the bdsm culture and had all the answer then sat back took time to. Look at play session or the read or they had some one take them and explain diffrent item and teach them how to use them in the lifestyle as a whole. So stay kinky and practices safe sex
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Ragnhildbrat(sub female)
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7 years ago •
Nov 4, 2017
Because every thing worth having has to be momentarily sought after. Like anything good you have to weed out the fakes. I mean black Friday only happens once a year. Also take time if you think it is a good Dom for you then talk. Talking after getting to know each other should come easy. It might even relax you to hear the Doms voice. Know that communication is ? to this life style. Also if your new here meaning life style don't just look for a Dom look for a mentor or trainer these things are how you learn bdsm and understand it no one just jumped into the bdsm culture and had all the answer then sat back took time to. Look at play session or the read or they had some one take them and explain diffrent item and teach them how to use them in the lifestyle as a whole. So stay kinky and practices safe sex
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ObviousEnigma(sub female)
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7 years ago •
Nov 17, 2017
Door wrote: I think some people are tired of making decisions and deal with the consequences of their own action. It’s so much easier to just let someone else make a decision and then just following so when and if the out come of that decision goes wrong, they have some one else to blame in their head. I feel like being a Dominant could get very lonely in that regard. Having to make all the decisions on your own with someone following your foot steps and being responsible for them also. The definition of submission is very different in many people’s eyes.its very easy to be blind and not care when you just follow instead of being a team.
I’ve aleays wondered why there are so many more submissives than dominants. Still haven’t found the definite answer to it and I don’t expect to either cause I think it’s way more complicated that that. But I have a theory that human race is submissive in nature.I believe Everyone submits to what they want and to the love they think they deserve. "We accept the love we think we deserve" -Perks of Being a Wallflower. This is so honest and simply beautiful! Thank you for sharing your insight! |
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| Viking |
7 years ago •
Nov 17, 2017
Reason
I feel most men think being a dominate is about them and their own sexual needs/desires ... where as real doms are not the outspoken loudmouths who brag of sexual conquests and need to be centers of attention ... real some are like myself, quiet ...empath.. introvert even. When I am given the power over a sub I good that respect very high and most guys just don't care enough about anyone else but themselves enough to achieve that level of commitment to a babygirl/sub/slave .... yes there is taking what I want from my pets flesh ... but only when the time is right ... but then aftercare, cuddle time and little time are just as important to a balanced healthy dom/sub relationship ... ?
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Nillaw(sadist male){Mal ♡}
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7 years ago •
Nov 17, 2017
I guess we all see what is true and what is not differently. I do agree with everything written above me. But at the same time not. I do believe a connection can be formed quickly, especially if one takes in mind just how the mind does work. That's why people FALL in love. Not crawl into it.
I believe in passion. And while I do agree that yes. Trust is the key component to any relation. I don't think one can trust without exposing them self in the process. That goes both for the dom and the sub. I'm not talking about "you send me nude now" I'm not talking about primitive exposure of the body. What I mean to say is once your heart is on the line it's when you can gain something. And that is where you. Or anyone reading this should make up their own mind on how long time they need for them to be able to put their own heart up on the table, before expecting someone else's in return. So when you say. How come I haven't found any "true" dom. My question is. To whom of these have you exposed your heart?(make sure the person in question is worth that exposure) And allowed to be a dom. It's scary business. Bdsm. Just love in general really or any deep connection. So it's important to know what you're looking for. Generally I'd recommend to stop looking for a true dom on here. And instead look for a person true to you. And himself. Then if you wish for more from that person I'd recommend communication. Personally though I just hope you don't let caution kill passion. Just don't let curiosity take over good judgment. Oh. And we all can agree that. Anyone writing in any manner that is in any way disrespectful is someone you should probably stay away from. At least if it hasn't been astablished that that is what you want from that person Terribly sorry to write in a dead thread. And if this sounded strange to anyone. I'm sorry. This is just my personal opinion on the subject. |
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| MyWimpslut(sub male) |
7 years ago •
Nov 17, 2017
In society being a dominant male has become wrong and that dominance means superiority that is in some way violance against women.
It comes down to what society percieves as equality and the norm, but as someone once said, normality is a majority concept. Fair is not always 50/50, be what you are and true to yourself... it's not anyones fault and you don't have to justify yourself and neither should you be made to feel ashamed of yourself. Dominance is not about superiority and is not endowed to a specific gender, which seems to be injected into everything these days. I think people would be less afraid to embrace their dominant side if they weren't made to feel they should be ashamed of it or made the vilian. That said, for some people, just as there is a fine line between being aggresive and being assertive, there can be a fine line between being dominant and just being an asshole. |
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Hawkeye
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7 years ago •
Nov 20, 2017
I think the reason it’s so difficult to find a dominant or submissive for that matter, is that we all define/envision dominants/submissives differently. We don’t simply seek a dominant/submissive. We seek the one that fits our ideal. The one that sees the world the same way we do. On top of that many are also seeking their lobster. So yes it is indeed very difficult
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TakenLower
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7 years ago •
Nov 20, 2017
It’s not any different than dating. If you suck at dating you’re probably going to suck here too. If you have no interpersonal skills in the real world you’re definitely going to be shit out of luck here.
Stop blaming everyone else, take it upon yourself to change your point of view, your circumstances or your goals. Being linear is your worst enemy. P.S. This is not directed at any single person so don’t get all huffy. If you are huffy I probably am talking to you? |
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Hawkeye
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7 years ago •
Nov 20, 2017
“P.S. This is not directed at any single person so don’t get all huffy. If you are huffy I probably am talking to you?“
What kind of lame ass excuse is this? D/s has nothing to do with dating and is probably the single biggest mistake that “submissive “ women make |
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