SageFlame(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 23, 2021
* When I was looking:
I preferred to have a conversation before seeing a picture. An attractive physical appearance throws me off. I want to taste the meat ( the mind) of a person to determine whether I want to continue. If there is no connection in conversation I don't care to see a face. Appearance and mind are slices of the pie. There are many other attributes that make a fun, and meaningful connection. Likewise, I don't show my pictures before a good conversation. I found out quickly I don't like my ears tickled. Determining the mind if another is never a waste of time in my book. It's what matters the most! Additionally, being physically attracted to someone may create blinders early on because you want to make it work. |
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Online now
SerenityMay(masochist female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 23, 2021
Profile pictures
I feel like a hypocrite on this topic because I prefer seeing profile pictures to gauge whether or not I'm interested, but I don't do this myself.
For me it's all about privacy and safety. I don't mind sharing my picture with anyone who's established a rapport with me and has messaged for a while. That said, I think I ultimately needed this forum to realize I should at least post something. Thank you for sharing your perspective on the matter. |
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MuzzledCrown(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 23, 2021
Physical attraction is not the most important thing but it's important. According to social psychology, there are 5 main determining factors of attraction: physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity and familiarity. I personally choose to have a profile picture because I don't want it to be an issue later down the line. It's easier to not take it personally, when I'm not someone's type in the beginning then after becoming emotionally invested.
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| LoyalWolf(sub male) |
3 years ago •
Jun 23, 2021
HumiliationNeeds wrote: I think I am opposite to lots of the comments and sentiments here. As a complete exhibitionist and humiliation lover I would post as many pics of myself as possible! (But can only post 3 due to basic membership).
I would post explicit and compromising pics as well, to show my interests, but from my (very limited) use of the site so far (very new here) I feel that this might be frowned upon. Just be careful it doesn't hurt you in terms of job / career. I work in a large company and on more than one occasion I ended up running into a coworker, former employee, or someone who works in my office building. One time I ened up running into one of the people that reported directly to me. We are friends, so it wasn't that big a deal, but it could've been someone I wasn't friends with and a lot more awkward. I don't show my face on my profile, but if we are chatting then I don't have a problem showing you my face. |
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BBWbutAlsoLittle(sub female)
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3 years ago •
Jun 24, 2021
I have to agree with you, I have to be physically attracted to my partner as well. It sucks when i don't see a picture on someone's profile, but i guess i understand why people wouldn't do it. Still a little offputting though.
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DangerouslySafe(sadist male)
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3 years ago •
Jun 24, 2021
Attraction is important as well as honesty. I personally find it frustrating when there is not a pic or in many cases the pic is not a genuine pic.... Like pics that are 10 years old. Then after spending time and investing in them to find out they dont look how they represented themselves. Immediately that says they are not going to be honest with me. I can accept someone for who they are but I cant tolerate someone willing to lie. I am ok with representing yourself in the most favorable way as long as its honest. However for me attraction is not everything. Just a few months ago I had extremely beautiful woman that wanted to explore the lifestyle but after spending a little time with her I turned her down cause there was nothing there that interested me despite how attractive she was...
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Jun 18, 2022
Fornicus wrote: I feel that there must be a mutual attraction. Sometimes it’s a physical attraction. Occasionally, there is an attraction to a personality that can overcome the lack of physical desire.
I understand the desire for autonomy, but I personally prefer to see some bit of photo in a profile. It shows the ability to trust, openly and honestly. Without pictures, you’re left to judge on the merit of personality only. The downside to that is when words say one thing but the physical appearance shows another. I take pride in self care and it shows. To call that shallow is unfair. It’s a physical manifestation from years of self control and self discipline. I Dom in the same way to my sub that I do for myself. I care for all of her needs. I hold her to a realistic and obtainable standard. However, it requires a great deal of effort from her. Not everyone has that level of commitment. I understand your reasoning about a sub or potential sub physical representation matching their words. I'm a blunt person, and it sounds as if you are speaking about whether a sub is fat. You may not know that, but through talking to them you start to firm a mental image of someone who doesn't quit, tries their best, is educated , although there are many forms of education and not all are in classrooms. However just because someone is not a skinnie Minnie does not mean that all that you learned about them is a lie. There are many things in life [unless you walked that path or beside someone who is walking the path] that are left out of consideration. You can not judge a book by its cover, although that's precisely what people do every day, every minute. |
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Notely
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2 years ago •
Jun 18, 2022
Conference is sexy , leave to the imagination , be yourself. It’s how you carry yourself. Full photo’s clothes showing your frame with not just cut outs. A smile the glow. Some people are shy might have problem of insecurities not being happy the way they look but we need to embrace the beauty who we are that perfect does not exist in perfection is real. If your looking for perfect it does not exist does not last long. My first ex wanted me perfect I took him for who he was but I was looking to be molded he figure out he could treat mr like doll I’m human but two people have to grow and experience things nothing going to be rainbows and sunshine. Be happy with yourself love yourself good things around you reflect. Real attraction is a connection what is in the soul I see through the aura and eyes before I see a face I dated guy see though my eyes are souls clicked that is rare he was not after my body he wanted to evolve with me the right way nothing forced. Picture can be grand and well written profile but does it match comes to meet its two way street voice and caning. My guy friend in relationship she only thought of herself wanted bigger house a dog and kids he made good money he’d big house she was looking for mansion he took care him self treated her good but he got tired of her acting like gold digger she was willing to dress up to go out when came to sex she would not perform so he let her go to back live her parents he did tell her wanna bigger house advance your education we both get one but she did want to do anything just sit look pretty he was going to deal with lazy. You have to treat people life with respect team with bond even when comes to a relationship. Some people work can’t show photo smile picture works. Only thing does not work in that lifestyle when trust is broken and a person lies my friend meet girl online she used old photos when they went to meet she looked nothing like the photo’s he walk away. It’s good to be fully honest upfront how you look who you are when comes to meet in real your pictures don’t match or profile it’s disappointing know going to change their mind if you lie more of a turn off that they block you. You have to be honest with yourself if you wanna be honest with others. Cam and voice before you meet they lie say I don’t have cam or it’s broken that’s a scam everyone has phones with cameras on them then borrow one their know excuse people are adults if to many excuses many red flags.
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LordofPain56
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2 years ago •
Jun 19, 2022
SageFlame wrote: being physically attracted to someone may create blinders early on because you want to make it work.
Uh oh, that immediately brought something funny to my mind; If someone did see my photo, they might want to go blind! But no, I do send photos to people upon request after having traded a few messages. |
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I'mME
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2 years ago •
Jun 19, 2022
What sageflame wrote is very true. But some folks outside looks are all that matter. Pretty is as pretty does or so I was raised to hear.
Beauty fades and often some grow into their own kind of beauty the older that they get. |
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