MowMow wrote:
GENERALISTION ALERT! I KNOW WE ARE ALL INDIVIDUALS!
It is a cruel trick of nature that men are frontloaded so they desire greatly the event but lose interest after the climax.
Women tend to be slower to the boil but once there can run and run. Personally an orgasm is the biggest turn on for me and the beginning of the encounter not the end!
Ooo, love this observation (generalization or not, that's hard to avoid when having a group convo, eh?).
Considering this from my "individual' angle, i seem to have gotten wiring somewhere in between as a 'gay total bottom.' Physically, there is the refractory period you note, where a male often just wants to nap after climax from using His penis. i don't use mine and get my need/desire met by a Man's penetration and His orgasm/climax instead of mine. Which is not completely right, what i crave is to share His climax vs us each having our own. The physical (and frankly, psychological tension) of Him being in charge of both our orgasm, then Him penetrating me and subsequently having His orgasm inside of me is deeply satisfying for me, and i have wondered if some women experience this as well?
It's not that it does not feel good physically to have my own orgasm, it does. But it does not feel good psychologically for me. To me the tension, frustration i feel from being horny gets directed towards sharing His orgasm. For me, when the chemistry is there, i feel an intense bond, connection as a result.
i have a 'Fuck Buddy" Who's been breeding me a couple of times a week fro three years. He has never made me climax once from using my penis, but i have come close many times from being penetrated by Him. He does like to suck my penis, but not to make me climax, just to make me hornier for Him and His Cock. And i love that. Weird, eh? Took me a long time to get it right, having to get past the conditioned expectations of how sex should work to discover how it works for me, and Those Who want/need people like me.
i think the gay community generally experiences what you note as well. Common knowledge in the gay community is that bottoms are the majority and Tops a minority. One outcome of this is "cumdumps" who are focused on how many "cocks and loads" they can get when feeling randy. "Insatiable" is a common descriptor.