What is one question that turns you off to a potential?

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • May 30, 2020

Oh! I thought of a bunch more:

"I'm not like OTHER girls"

Yes you are.

"You can't even HANDLE this"

Girl, there's no psychiatrist in the world qualified enough to handle you if this is your opener.

"You BETTER be able to keep up a conversation"

100% of people who say this give one word answers to questions

Dellydoodah​(neither female) • May 30, 2020

Will you be my mommy?

erm no

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • May 30, 2020

Want to live with me?

Uhhh......

No.

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • May 31, 2020

I hate that!
Can't even stop for 5 seconds to fill out your profile tells me you just lazy or a troll. Or both😎

Dom AJ​(dom male) • May 31, 2020

May I call you "Sir"? Is the one question that will turn me right off in a instant.

I realize there are many thoughts on this but for Me That is a title that is reserved of only one AND it must be earned other wise it has no honorable meaning to Me. I have standards for anyone with Me and Myself and anyone with Me should have standards as well.

With that said for Me there is only one exception that does not apply to this question but should be mentioned. If a owner instructs his to do so. I do not support a sub to defy instructions of Dom.

quiin​(sub female) • May 31, 2020

mmmmm yes lol I call everyone sir or Mr because it’s just a habit 🥺😂😰

quiin​(sub female) • May 31, 2020

This is such a habit for me lol

Taramafor​(sub male) • Jun 7, 2020

Why would I fear a question? It is the search for answers. Awareness is what keeps people safe.

How a question is answered is what factors in.

Sometimes people might ask you something to test you. Your fear of a situation. If you flee just from being asked then did you stick around to find out what their answer is? Nevermind yours. You can't be trusted if you flee that easily. Simple as.

With this in mind I ask "What are you afraid of?" Are your assumptions from a simple question accurate or did you simply assume the worst of things before there was a chance for a proper discussion?

So when I see someone clearly having trust issues I ask that question. "What are you afraid of?" One of two things will happen. Either they admit their fears or they lie to you. Either way I got my answer.

If someone clearly has trust issues I present the question. Those that admit their own insecurities can be trusted. Those that act like they're never afraid of anything despite clear evidence to the contrary will turn their backs on you easily.

Here's the irony. Some of those people will ask you what they're afraid of. Despite having quite clearly pointed out how they're projecting their past fears onto future situations with different context. If someone asks me "What am I afraid of" when they painted a bullseye on a topic that clearly concerns them and they can't even admit they're afraid of what quite clearly concerns them then I'm walking away from that delusion. Yes, "anger" and "not standing for things", but please, don't insult me by pretending there isn't a reason you're doing that.

HisHunnyBun​(sub female){Taken} • Jun 8, 2020

I always did that too until I read an article stating you shouldn't call a Dom sir until you earn their respect.
And they earned yours.

I always thought calling someone sir IS respectful!

Taramafor​(sub male) • Jun 9, 2020

What about calling someone a dom then? Is that any less respectful? Do people have "masters" before respect is earned? Is it also disrespectful to NOT put a label on someone if it's what the other person wants because they're not ready for it?

Respect is about one thing and one thing only. It's "Do what I want". No one's entitled to it. Thing is a number of people act like they are. Which in and of itself is extremely disrespectful.

The title of "sir" can also get thrown around casually enough in general. Anyone can follow orders and go "Sir, yes sir". It has more meaning when the other person has your respect already, but people will still toss it out there all too easily. There's no "should" about it. That's the situation that happens. And people will do that casually and playfully while still getting to know people before understanding each other well. Doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Can still pursue, earn and gain respect with any label. You can have any label and PUT respect inside of it. Add it. Or save it for later.

It's when respect is LOST that any title gets threatened. Be it "sir" or "pet". Or whatever else.

Way I see it there's only two reasons to hold back with putting a label on with someone. Either you're afraid you won't earn their respect or you're afraid of not being respected yourself. This indicates lack of trust and understanding though. The very act of hesitating means you yourself have yet to respect the other person. This is the point where communication is needed more then ever.

As for labels though, I quite like custom labels. "Mutt." "Dog". "Useless". Examples of ones that can apply to subs. Something more outside the box then anything that's generic. Means you put some more thought into it. Or maybe the other person likes the label more and you use it out of respect for them. If someone demands I call them "miss" though (and I like them) then I'll respect that.

I'm seeing a possible conflict though. What about when people are using two labels/titles? You want to use yours, they want to use theirs. Suppose you'll have to use both and vary it to keep things fair in that situation.