Hi, slut

Hawkeye • Sep 30, 2018

@ChillVibes

Your grandstanding and fooling no one.

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Sep 30, 2018

@Bunnie

I don't want my comments to be misconstrued in any way, so I'm going to hopefully try and hyper-clarify here.

No one HAS to do anything, this is an argument of linguistic semantics and remains universally true of any action anyone person can decide to make.
That being said, not everyone wants to have these discussions, they are uncomfortable and there are many reasons a person may choose not to.

I am relying here on one basic premise: Some behavior is acceptable some is not. I think everyone can agree on that.

I do not believe that everyone who acts in an unacceptable manner is a bad person, I do not believe they all have hatred in their hearts and I do not believe anyone to be truly beyond redemption.

That being said, those people, regardless of intent, should not be acting in an unacceptable manner.

How is a person supposed to change if they never hear anyone tell them that what they are doing is wrong?

If calling out this behavior automatically means you're grandstanding then we have six pages of it here by a diverse group of posters. They're voices deserve to be heard!

Racism: Bad. Sexism: Bad. Ableism: Bad. Any epithets, of these or other natures, thrown at a stranger, who has not consented to the use of them, maliciously or not: Bad.

Lastly, this is a forum, a place for open discussion of topics. This is the exact use this space is intended for. So if someone's goal is to come in here and loudly disagree with the entire thread, how is that in and of itself not even more emblematic of grandstanding?

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Sep 30, 2018

I'm invested in the topic.
Most male dominants will not be a target of this behavior. That's a good thing for you. But for those who've had these experiences, the wounds are fresh and they can hurt. Recognize this as a place for those who have been hurt or offended, and don't belittle their right to vent as showmanship.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 1, 2018

@ChillVibes as you could see they dont even read the forums..
https://thecage.co/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=947

Hawkeye • Oct 1, 2018

@ChillVibes

In my reply you will see that I agreed with what you said. The issue I have with it is that you are doing exactly what you said didn’t need to be done

ChillVibes​(sub male) • Oct 2, 2018

@Hawkeye
"Shouldn't" /= "Doesn't"

That's the last I'm going to argue with you breh.

Samsea​(dom male) • Oct 24, 2018

Some interesting comments above.

Personally I would only ever use the 'screen name' when making the initial contact, certainly nothing derogatory, and interestingly I have a few months ago received a couple of replies addressed, to Sir.

I pointed out that my BDSM title (As she was not writing to me in the formal context; 'Dear Sir') is my name SAM, until such time as she felt I had earned the right to be referred to in that way. And the same applied to her.

Incidentally my current playmate asked me to call her Kitten, or refer to her as Good Girl, which as the relationship has developed into one we are both very comfortable and happy with, I am more than happy to do.

She is lovely and has become My Little Kitten, PS (she is not a 'little' by the way she just likes me to use it.

Sam

MasterBear​(other butch) • Oct 24, 2018

I do not do honorifics unless that has been negotiated.

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Oct 24, 2018

Best way it’s to read profile properly and between the line too.
I willl adress à sub with her screen name end off
But some subs adress to me Master straight away which I politely redress the balance with some advice on how to communicate carefully.
It’s up to people to learn how to behave in this world
I don’t think we need to make it more topical than it is really....
if someone call you slut or whatever just correct them politly no need to be an axe murderer

Savida​(other female) • Oct 27, 2018

@FabSeverus, Im gonna have to politely disagree with that last sentence—by calling someone a slut/whore/bitch that person is being exceptionally rude—do I really have to politely say, “hey, don’t be disrespectful towards me.”

If they saw a woman on the street and said “Hi, slut”, very few people would be upset at her for telling the guy off and some would even slap the person (although I personally avoid physical altercation at all costs).

By violating common sense boundaries, by not getting consent for what can be touchy or triggering, by being so presumptuous, they’ve sort of lost the right to that fake polite nonsense.

Say for example (AND THIS IS AN EXAMPLE I AM NOT BY ANY MEANS CALLING YOU THIS, PURELY ILLUSTRATIVE), someone walked up to you or came in your inbox and called you, I don’t know a “cock sucking mummy’s boy”, do you mean to tell me your reaction would be what you advocated for—polite?

To me and many others, “hi slut” strikes the same chord.