Turn offs in new conversations

SavannahLyn​(sub female) • Jun 14, 2024

i nearly choked laughing. Thank you for this. Considering the states of my inboxes on several platforms, while actively engaging in a search for a respectable partner.... i needed the levity.

It's the instant jump to sex, and sex driven conversation for me. Please see me as a human being first, before you try to see if i like being treated like a sex toy.... spoiler, i do not.

subbme​(sub female) • Jun 15, 2024

Ugh I can’t stand it when a Dom demands respect without earning it. I do not have any arrangement with you, nor have I agreed to be yours, at what point in your life did your head get so big that you expect every sub to give you respect? El stupido!

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 15, 2024

Toilet breath.

RoseUndressed​(sub female) • Jun 16, 2024

Oh gosh, I feel I could provide a very long list here.

But to keep it short, today's turn off is images of an elaborate display of a blow up doll in a bondage sling, covered in red roses. All this as a means of introduction without even an attempt at getting to know me ....

I guess the theme here is: assumptions. They only make an ass out of you (but on this occasion, not me).

Discordant • Jun 16, 2024

New here, but weighing in on the “Hi. How are you?” opening message.

Some of the responses have said it’s strange to have someone unknown ask that question.

My question to those people is: How do you greet a stranger in real life?

When I meet a new person in real life there is usually a handshake involved and some form of the question, “How are you?”

It may be, “How are you today?”, “How ya doing?”, “How do you do?”, “How’s it going?” or even, “What’s up?”

When I go to a store, most employees ask me how I am.

Call a business on the phone and the person answering usually asks how I am.

Even the clerks at the DMV ask me how I’m doing.

It’s a standard greeting to strangers, is my point. It seems to me that it would be more intrusive to come into someone’s inbox with a question about intimate details that are posted on a profile than a simple, “Hi. I’m Discordant. Pleased to meet you. How are you today?”

Perhaps I’m missing something, but I don’t think I am. Unless the assumption is that every person that contacts you is trying to fuck you, and that is the height of arrogance.

I'mME • Jun 16, 2024

@Discordant,

*When I meet a new person in real life there is usually a handshake involved and some form of the question, “How are you?”*

When I meet someone new, I say, ''It's a pleasure.'' Or ''It's nice to meet you.''

Speaking for myself, I dislike questions people ask but don't want to hear an answer.

Yes, People may say ''How are you?" but they keep right on talking w/o a reply.
Because it's chit chat, small talk, it's not sincere, most ppl just murmur , I'm fine, Good, Doing okay, etc.
It's no different in an message from a stranger. ,,..,They aren't looking for how that person's day is. It's a safe salutation. I'm sure that some people will share.

I don't share certain stuff w strangers..

Part of a store clerks job is to be personable.

Garv​(dom male) • Jun 16, 2024

Discordant -
No response is necessary, just a social thing, or if you want to start a conversation, you can respond with "I'm good, looks like rain" or whatever if I'm comfortable starting a conversation with them. Many times I can see in there eye a bit of discomfort, so don't judge them to harshly.
Perhaps you will meet some one interesting.

I'mME • Jun 17, 2024

Garv,

The forum was turns offs in conversations. Since we contact ppl here online, some have sad,
"How are you ?" is a turn off for them.

I would like to add, that this and how was your day ate both common things for a Dom to ask a sub.

That may or may not have something to do with the turn off factor, coming from complete strangers.

Miki​(masochist female) • Jun 17, 2024

Actually "conversations" for me involve scribbling a greeting on my whiteboard, or handing it to the other party.

I don't do "dates" except coffee bullshit when not scheduled to work on a given night.

I prefer the variation I have written before on one of these threads-- enquiring the status of a certain tool. Right or left.

Very effective when coffeeing-up some starchy-looking conservative type. But if they're having coffee with me, they know what I 'm about already.


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@roseundressed... You mean someone sent the blow-up doll image with all the trimmings by way of introduction? Good grief...

Presumptuous barely covers that shit.

If some dude opened with crap like that with me he'd receive in return either a pic of a highway "Exit" sign, or a photo of the "No Entry" sign-on-a-tee-shirt I have.

It's a cool shirt, can be worn either way:
"No Entry" lower front... or same lower back. Either way, he's the one who is screwed, not me.

Discordant • Jun 17, 2024

Yes, and it’s part of a human’s job to acknowledge when someone is being personable, however that’s neither here nor there.

What you share is your business and what turns you off is your affair. It just seems strange to me that what is probably the most common phrase when greeting a stranger is a turn off for some people, but whatever sinks your boat sinks it.

It occurred to me that I never answered the original questions.

Turn offs to a conversation include the use of text speak when writing to me as I find it lazy whenever I see it, and assumptive language. I will also look at the profile of the sender and if it’s nothing but negativity or a list of what they absolutely won’t put up with, I’m turned off. I think boundaries are a good thing, but if you sound like you hate the world, why would I want anything to do with you? People who constantly complain about dick pictures but are showing me everything God gave them on their profile go in the turn off pile too.

What makes me want to continue a conversation is a polite greeting followed by something I find interesting.