Why Don't You Use the Forum?

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Nov 20, 2018

I agree that everyone is entitled to an opinion, but perhaps like Fab said, not advice. For example, someone with zero experience in rope shouldn’t really give advice on safety measures in rope bondage... hmmm unless maybe they read something? I’m not sure, different discussion perhaps for the answer there.

The point I was trying to make is that people MAY feel this way and that’s why they don’t respond in the forums. For instance, I noticed that when there were more games in the forums, those who don’t usually comment were getting involved. Therefore, maybe there could be more of a mixture in the forum discussion topics. Instead of it just being a place for advice, maybe there could be more interactive topics. There is one at the moment for example looking at book reviews. This is a perfect example of something that anyone can join in on.

Again, these are just my opinions on why I think the forums may be less active than blogs or chat.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Nov 20, 2018

The forums are coming along nicely. There's been a lot of progress in the last year. A few thoughts:

I'd flip the question and ask why anyone thinks a nuanced and serious discussion about kink is possible in a chat room. Chaos at a fast pace that's gone the moment you leave or get booted, people having many convos. It's silly fun, but that's about it.

The forums generate debate and discussion. Vigourous debate at times. Some people see that as conflict and would rather have a hug fest.

Debate requires language and logic skills. Some lack there. Doesn't matter if it's English as a second language or poor reading comprehension, the currency remains the same. That intimidates some people. I get that, but it's unavoidable.

Yes, new folks should speak up. "I'm new..." or "not sure if I understand..." then making a point is perfectly valid. All voices matter. No Gods, No Masters.

You can't hide from others here. No private chat rooms or Bond to share your philosophy, it's open for all to see and on the record. I think this is why some avoid it. I don't trust anyone who hides in the shadows and doesn't participate, particularly if they claim to educate, teach, guide or be a community leader. This is the community; you can't block, hide or ignore here.

Come and play, but be prepared to have your ideas and beliefs challenged. You can't shut down critical opinions here.

curiouskittyy​(sub female){GentlemanX} • Nov 20, 2018

Well I wasn’t here a year ago so I can’t comment on them coming a long way, but I agree with you that forums do elicit debate and more serious discussions. I also think that this is why people tend to shy away from participating in them.

The forum post asked why there seem to be less involvement in the forums compared to blogs and chats - maybe this is why. Variation seems like the logical thing here .. some serious discussions of course and perhaps some less serious ones. Yes, chat is the place to go for less serious chat, but not everyone is a premium member.

I also agree that debates require logic and language skills but I think they also require respect. I love the diversity on here and a good debate even among friends. However, I do think that a point should be delivered respectfully and against the point only, not the person. I, personally feel that sometimes it can be made a little personal and this causes negativity in what could of been a really a good topic.

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Nov 20, 2018

Agreed. It's a fine line to walk and not always one I follow. It's always been my opinion that the 'idea not the person's concept prevents bullying but also allows some to continue to espouse the same bad ideas over and over again unchecked. It also leads to a lot of passive agressive vague blogging and comments that get taken as slights or attacks on folks who aren't the actual target.

If anyone wonders about any of mine, my Bond and email are always open and I never block.. critical thoughts and comments welcome.

Bunnie • Nov 21, 2018

I guess I’ve always seen the forum section as the more serious area for discussion. The place where you can trust that if you ask a question, you will get a variety of serious opinions and feedback, and discussion. I see blogs as the more fluffy section where we can each share our thoughts and feelings and ideas, and I see chat as live interaction... whether for light-hearted fun, serious discussion or just chit chat. For me it seems that many prefer to just hang out in the “well-lit” areas (blogs and chat) rather than checking out the shadows (forums and podcasts). Kind of like a library... many prefer to just browse the new release section for the latest magazines, rather than going down into the back corners in the history section.
I don’t feel that there’s a “good” or “bad” way to utilise the site, and I really like that the different areas are so distinct. I find that there are different crowds hanging out in each different area... much like anywhere in life.
I don’t feel that there’s anything particularly “wrong” with the forums section, aside from the times when it does just end in people attacking each other (I tend to try to get in and get out early, before they get started lol), I just think that the people that are drawn to this section are perhaps more of a minority here, than a majority.