Anyone completely new?

Anyone completely new?

JesseKamokazi​(switch female) • Mar 4, 2019

So im new to the community as a wholw
E, im not sure what im into really but i know BDSM fascinates me! What stuff did any of you start on? How did you end up here? Im kind of reaching out for stories of when you might have been new or are new! Im in a small town so its lonely.

Amaris Ancilla​(sub female) • Mar 5, 2019

Hm...I'm not usually one to post on here, but maybe as a start since you don't really know what you're into (some people are probably going to get really mad at me for this) try the test on bdsmtest.org. It might help you get an IDEA of what you are into. Don't follow that like some sacred scripture though. It's not much, but I hope that gives you a start!

There's a lot of really experienced people on here that I'm sure will help you out!

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme)​{Allie Kat} • Mar 5, 2019

I suggest the book, "Leading and Supportive Love" by Chris M. Lyon, it's a good overview and explanation of the two positions, what they are and what they desire, and what they look for in a relationship/partner. It's a little more focused on the relationship side, not really kink, but it's the book that helped my husband to learn he was a submissive, and to better understand his wants and desires, and helped me learn I'm Dominant, and understand my love further in the process.

Other than that, the test Amar is a good baseline but kinda as she said, it's not an end-all-be-all. I mean, I've taken it several times, and depending on my mood my results change. Plus, to me, it's just a bedroom thing. And BDSM (can be/) is more than just the bedroom. I like to bottom sometimes in bed, I dont like submitting on a daily basis though. Itll be a help in figuring out what kink aspects to look into further, though. If you score high in something, start reading topics here on it, ask questions, Google, find books (I scour Amazon's marketplace a lot and get things on my kindle app on my phone. I'd prefer hardcover but, living overseas right now, it takes forever to ship to me haha).

And of course, ask questions here! I would make sure it hasn't been asked already first, but most here are pretty helpful so dont hesitate to post a forum topic like you did here, to ask more specific questions:) I'm new myself (Known about it for 5 years, only actively been a Domme for 5 months), but I have learned a lot pretty quickly, thanks to my love having been a submissive for 19 or so years (before he knew it even). So, feel free to reach out to me with questions if you wish My inbox is open, if something is a little more private.

And of course, welcome to the community!

I’m new to this site...

pefrizz45 • Mar 5, 2019

I’m new to this site but not new to BDSM; posted the earlobes fetish as proof that I’m a freak and enjoy it.

pefrizz45 • Mar 5, 2019

Are there any straight BDSM groups in America who have contacts in the Phoenix AZ area; I’m a straight, male, fetish Dom and have no desire to frequent gay men’s BDSM groups. Sincerely-Eric F

DrWakko • Mar 5, 2019

Phoenix has Bdsm events almost every day of the week. I believe they have two or three major clubs as well as several house play parties that run each weekend.

I would do an google search for “Phoenix bdsm events” And see what pops up.

MasterBear​(kinky butch) • Mar 5, 2019

Good morning and welcome !!!


See here for possible events in your area:

https://www.domsubfriends.com/cgi-local/wwwdir/db.cgi?db=org&uid=default&state=ILLINOIS&view_records=View+Records&ww=on




My love and I have been in BDSM for 17 years together. M/s 24/7 for 14.

We were all newbies at one time !!!!

I started with flogging and power exchange. Power exchange and service still give me a total lady boner!!!!!


I ended up on the cage by accident.
I was looking for places where a very dear male sub could advert for a Mistress and found the cage.


I am thrilled to be on the cage.

Welcome!!!!!

MissBonnie​(dom female)​{oz} • Mar 5, 2019

Waves! welcome to the cage. I've lived in some small rural towns so I can understand the loneliness they can hold, thank Gawd for online! Here you can create friends that are only a mouse click away. I'm on the cage because I love meeting new people for one but for two, so I dont get stuck in Femdom bubble (of my own making). I've found if you reach out to others here, they do tend to reach back. Its a good site for meeting partners, learning or just socializing/networking. Here you will get back what you put in. Its worth the 'effort'
I'm not so new to kink but we all need to start somewhere. I might be active for a few decades but I'm still learning too. I try to live by the idea "its not the destination, its the journey" I first started with an interest in rope, I'll probably die still trying to master or learn something new (to me).
Best of luck in your very personal journey.....Hope to run into you, more here

Bunnie • Mar 6, 2019

Hi @ JesseKamokazi

“What stuff did any of you start on? How did you end up here?”

Firstly, I lived in a town with a population of 100 people when I first joined the cage lol, so I can relate.

There have been people here and there throughout my life who were into bdsm, but I never knew what any of it meant.

One day I arrived here purely by accident/chance, bright eyed and bushy tailed, and as green as the hills (very naive... I often likened it to feeling like a goldfish in a shark tank). That was only around two years ago, roughly... but it feels like a lifetime. I didn’t know what a Dom or a submissive was... I just knew that it was finally time to find out who I had been hiding inside.

That’s what this journey has been about for me... peeling away the layers of who I’m not, in order to become once again, who I truly am. It has been both satisfying and difficult simultaneously. I kind of jumped into the deep end, so had a lot of experiences in a short time frame.

Although rope has been the most significant part of my experiences so far, through the help and guidance of some wonderful people both online and offline, I have grown so much... not only as a submissive, but as a person. That’s my story in a nutshell. However... it’s just the beginning

FlipSide1481​(dom male) • Mar 6, 2019

A girlfriend, twenty years ago, handed me a leash in public. I said something to the effect of "I don't think either of us know what this means".

And so I started reading the internet then later Gloria Brahme, and the Jay Wiseman books. I talked about this with all my partners and began exploring. Remember there is no rush, and no test to take. Be safe and enjoy the journey in whatever way you can.