Don’t really know

Don’t really know

Mikpete • Mar 13, 2019

Tbh I’m not so sure what’s going on. I am a male who is 20 years old. I go to college. I think I am looking for a dom female who is willing to tell me what to do. This is my first time on anything like this so I’m not sure what to expect. I want someone to control me to demand me to do things for them. I want to make someone happy I want to make someone feeled loved. Tell me how to make you happy

Dominus Blakesley​(dom male){Amaris Anc} • Mar 13, 2019

If you are looking for a partner specifically, Mikpete, there is the "Personals" tab you can get into and find partners that way. In general though, every Dominant has their own individual wants/needs (aside from, well, to *dominate* at the most basic level or guide in a sense) just as every submissive does. Seeing as you are new and submissive, here are some things to consider.

As a submissive, am I willing to:
1. Sacrifice for my partner.
2. Do whatever it takes to satisfy my submissive and their Dominance (while being safe, sane, and consensual)
3. Trust in my partner.
4. Trust in myself.
5. Do I know for certain I am a submissive and am willing to undertake such a role? To find myself under the guidance and care of my Dominant? (or beyond that)

Essentially, really research what you want and what *you* yourself are into/okay with, and research your potential partners as well. Try not to develop sub frenzy or automatically put every Dominant on a pedastal too (there are insta-doms on this site, unfortunately). Bottom line, take it slow and careful until you are certain of both yourself and your partner, and prosper.

Good luck, and I wish you well on your search.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Mar 13, 2019

I also advise against randomly reaching out to Dommes to ask us to Dominate you, especially without reading profiles first to see if such a message is okay. Or anyone for that matter. But, Dommes get harassed constantly by these messages. Not everyone here is looking to hook up, some are already in monogamous relationships, and it ends up looking desperate if your first message is asking for Domination. Some people like that. But In general? Try to be friends first.

You should be self-confidence and strong enough with yourself to be alone and be fine with it (maybe not like it, but be able to function and live), before you search for a relationship, imo. If you cant take care of yourself... it'll be hard to take care of someone else. No one should /need/ a relationship to be complete... that ends up causing us to be selfish.

Take your time. Do tons of research to know exactly where you stand and what you want. Try to figure things out for yourself, and maybe reach out to other subs for advice, instead of relying too much on a Domme to teach you. It's fine to do so if she is willing, but itll be much more attractive to more people if you know more already.

Since you're new, perhaps try reading, "Leading and Supportive Love" by Chris M. Lyon, itll help you to make sure you are submissive (he explains both sides really well), and help you to learn about the Dominant mind as well, what both sides want with partners and relationships. Knowing the other side so you can understand is a huge deal.

Having my submissive understand that, some days, it's too much and I want to just be lazy and do nothing because I'm already stressed from work and other outside influences, helps me so much. Understanding how my mind works helps him to better communicate and please.

Good luck, be patient, and have fun while learning. It's a beautiful lifestyle and community.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Mar 13, 2019

My standard question:


Do you masturbate to fantasies of submission?

That may help guide you in the right direction.

I.e. who are you when you think no one is looking.