Pampering

Pampering

Bunnie • Jun 6, 2019

We often hear about the sexual aspects of service in D/s.

I’m curious about how popular another form of service I love is... pampering... giving massages, pedicures, manicures, facials, bathing, shaving etc.
I’d love to learn to use a cutthroat someday, and incorporate that into it all as well.

I’ve heard of slaves bathing their Master, which to me sounds like an absolutely beautiful and intimate ritual. Are there others who love things like this?

Dom/mes, is it something you enjoy/would enjoy from your sub?

Subs, is it something you enjoy/would enjoy doing for your Dom/me?

Do you think it’s more gender specific? For example, is this likely to be a type of service more prominent in a FemDom/malesub dynamic?

HeWhoHasNoSWITCH​(switch male) • Jun 6, 2019

I’ve been in a relationship where I’ve been pampered like you explained. It’s beautiful but was kind of humbling in a way to let her do those things to me. It was difficult because at first I didn’t get that it brought joy to her and thought she was just trying to please me. To be frank it was kind of uncomfortable being treated in like a royalty sense. Once I understood the reasoning behind it i was more comfortable and learned to enjoy it. Being bathed as a grown man is quite nice especially when she cleans my buddy really well. 🤣

I don’t know if men who do that, but I’m sure they are out there. It’s hard to get past the culture aspect of equality with women because when a woman serves me in that way I feel like I’m making her a second class citizen, but like I mentioned above understanding their heart behind it changes that dynamic.

Pumpkin29​(sub female){MrWhite} • Jun 7, 2019

I didn't realize this had a name. Thank you, Bunnie.

I love the idea of this. To me, caring for someone in this capacity has the potential to be much more intimate and bond-building than any sexual components. I enjoy the idea of it being a bit ritualized. I imagine quiet, tender moments while completing these types of tasks.

My Sir has told me parts of what you've mentioned will be incorporated into our relationship eventually. It's something I look forward to.

Mistress Maree​(dom female){Non} • Jun 7, 2019

I love a bit of pampering from my boys bathing, shaving massage, pedicure foot rubs are all nice. It part of what I expect from my boys.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 7, 2019

Good question Bunnie! You asked if I think service based tasks are more Femdom, maledom, mixed BDSM or gender specific?
For my self personally I'm going to say no (for my own relationship/s) I more base my style, in who does what, better! (easier and more efficiently) Rather any specific task being below me because I am the Domme. I don't believe tasks/services are gender specific. Besides that not subs are created equal and neither are Dom/mes. Service doesn't rock everyone's world.

.... but I do think the "service" aspect appears more predominant in Femdom orientation over Maledom. I also believe now with more current blend of FLR** thrown into what has become the melting pot of Femdom (which was traditionally BDSM based, when FLR was not), this also increases numbers to make it appear more lop sided, than I think it might actually be. Blurred lines aren't good for concise numbers.

Often but not always, If a persons view on Maledom and Femdom is formed from watching porn, then Maledom does appear to be more female orgasm count and sexual based. A lot of my Femdom friends who live the lifestyle 24/7 like myself, joke most who find Femdom via porn often get a rude awakening that unlike porn, it (femdom) doesn't all revolve around there cock (or having things done to you but rather doing things to and for others) unlike Maledom which often can seem more orgasm concentric for the female when 'first' viewed. Sex sells and it is an industry but most (men) unfortunately don't venture past "that video made me horny. I must be submissive" In addition more men purchase porn than women, so can also slant initial views and form very different fantasy opinion, than reality may offer.

As for pampering and sexual pampering within Femdom, a lot does seem to occur, to get suggested on sites such as caged (not just a caged thing). I personally don't mind the odd "treat me like princess" time or "pillow princess" time......heck who doesn't want to feel good but I do also believe its called power exchange for a reason and needs to be a balance that suits both partners. Any form of BDSM, regardless of gender, isn't a solo act. If you look at life together like bank account, you cannot keep withdrawing on the account for to long, before you need to make deposits or you face bankruptcy!



*While there is no formal definition for a female-led relationship (FLR), the FLR relationship meaning may have the woman as the authority and break the old-fashioned notion that the man should always be in charge (think reverse 1950s housewife). When a female leads a relationship, the man might be the one who primarily cooks, cleans, does housework, and stays home with the kids, while the woman goes to work and makes sure the bills are paid. In another sense, the dynamics might appear more traditional, yet the woman behaves as the primary decision maker and head of the household. **Often this style of based relationship doesn't include BDSM activities or can just contain punishment traditionally OTK or corporal and/or cuckolding.

Re: Pampering

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jun 7, 2019

opps I forgot this part....


yes! we actually have some parts of this that are almost ritualized because my primary enjoys it so much. Like MzLeatherClad, some of these, I also expect as part of service.

Azzabackam​(switch male){PawPawGirl} • Jun 7, 2019

One, what the bloody FUCK is a cutthroat and how does it figure into lovely things like massages and pampering?

Second: I was thinking about making a post similar to this, as my Dom aspects are all around this. I absolutely love both pampering and being pampered by my sub. I guess I'm a very "soft" kind of Dom: adverse to abrasiveness and punishment unless my sub needs it, and favoring a soft, gentle relationship with lots of this.

I suppose a "rough" Dom is a more popularly acted upon type because it's more visceral and kinetic, but I can confirm there's at least one "soft" type of Dom out there.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jun 10, 2019

My beloved Pampers me in so many ways. From everything she cooks to preparing my baths in the morning to genuinely being present when I am not okay. My beloved scratches my back and holds me when I fall apart. Being able to be emotionally vulnerable in a relationship is definitely a two-way street it has little to nothing to do with power exchange dynamic.


My beloved does things for me that I will not do for myself like buy me clothes.
Lol

Lexxa​(sub female) • Jun 10, 2019

A cutthroat is a type of straight razor used for shaving. Not as heinous as it sounds but when you’re that close to vital areas with a sharp razor and your hand accidentally slips well…..you get where the name comes from haha.

Lexxa​(sub female) • Jun 10, 2019

For me, service is the majority of what draws me into a relationship and keeps me motivated. ‘Acts of service’ is my primary love language and I find a lot of pleasure in serving someone, taking care of and anticipating their needs. This includes pampering. Prepping a meal in advance so they can eat once they get back from a long day, prepping a bath or a comfy spot on the couch for them and assisting in any way they may want me to really.

Someone being wowed by a dinner I made them or impressed by a fancy dessert I whipped up gives me a lot of pleasure. The quickest way to turn me off is to make everything unnecessarily sexual. If someone can’t win over my mind and inspire me to serve them first then they have zero chance of winning over my body.