Male Dominants & Misogyny

Male Dominants & Misogyny

Villanelle​(staff) • Apr 19, 2016

Are accusations of misogyny the straight,male dominant's cross to bear?  Just as anyone in to BDSM has had to at one time or another explain the difference between BDSM and abuse, do male dominant's often get wrongly accused of being misogynists? Guys, has this happened to you and how do you deal with it?

Sgt_J​(dom male) • May 12, 2016

Well, I think it's both. Male Doms are seen by many as misogynistic because of the dynamic but at the same time many male Doms are sexist. 

Villanelle​(staff) • May 12, 2016

@Sgt_J that's a provocative comment. I wonder if others agree. Thanks for chiming in!

Rod​(dom male) • May 13, 2016

For me this is a simple one to answer, there are misogynistic Doms and sexist Doms as well as abusive Doms.  BDSM is a microcosm of mainstream society after all so anything that exists there exists for us.  Does being a Dom make you a misogynist? Definitely not.
Many Doms, myself included, love and care for their submissive women intensely, the D/s relationship is simply another expression of love and care that to outsiders can appear to be otherwise. 
The dynamic can be very complicated of course, we have many variations within the BDSM world, Dom with female sub(s), Dom with female and male sub(s),  Dom with male sub(s), Domme with female sub(s), Domme with female and male sub(s), Domme with male sub(s), Switches with... you get the idea. So why is the focus only on the first combination "Dom with female sub", picked on? My guess is it's the most easily related to by the "vanilla" world and in "their" world men who hit women are misogynistic and abusive.
Its just another case of how misinterpreted BDSM is in the wider community. 
Has it happened to me? No, but then I tend to keep my kinky side discrete so it doesn't have a chance to come up really.