How to manage while in between

How to manage while in between

Delish • Jul 27, 2019

Need help with how I can still get what I crave while not in a relationship. Anyone have ideas for how to safely fulfill my desire for physical pain and discipline while on my own?

Bunnie • Jul 27, 2019

Hi @ Delish,

Join your local community, go to munches and find a group that fits well... then attend play parties. That’s a common way for kinksters to “get a fix” whilst single or doing the online thing.

Some other options for at home (of course, with some of your own research into how to do them without causing harm), could be to invest in some clothes pegs... they can be used in a plethora of ways to help with needing a pain fix. Level of intensity depends where you put them and how many you use. That can be fun.

Some people also self-spank. A hairbrush works, or your hand, or a paddle... I’m sure there are many implements that can be used. Perhaps if you’re a bit more dexterous than I am... a belt also (although, inner thighs are easy enough to reach).

My apologies, I can’t help with the self-discipline aspect because this is somewhere I fall severely short.

Overall, and for both aspects, do some research, read around on different sites. There are many, many creative ways people “entertain” themselves whilst waiting to meet their person. Same goes for the self-discipline.

Just remember to be wise in how you apply things to your body... many things if done wrong can be harmful, sometimes with permanent repercussions.

Go slow, have some fun, and good luck in finding your person

Delish • Jul 28, 2019

Thanks for taking the time with a thoughtful reply!

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jul 29, 2019

Bunnie you are AWESOME!!!


You also might want to set yourself daily goals that includes things that would be challenges for you.

Build your knowledge that you have a lot to bring to the table.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jul 30, 2019

Bunnie and MB both statrd good things . i have a blog on just this:

https://thecage.co/blog/userblog.php?postid=18512&blog_id=3305

Soulweaver​(dom male) • Jul 30, 2019

Bunnie is a rock star and obviously quite knowledgeable. She has pretty much answered the question.

The only thing I can add is this, many who are "single" or between partners, will also turn to porn. However, two points about that, first most porn is fake and even the so-called "amateur" porn is not. So be aware that much of what is depicted is fantasy and not at all representative of reality. Second, for many of us (to include me), porn only increases the longing for fulfillment. Imagine being on a strict diet, yet being forced to watch people enjoying large, delicious meals, eating everything your diet excludes. That's porn for me. And while one of my kinks is voyuerism, I prefer the live stuff!

AKittenforSir​(sub female){JohnBond} • Jul 31, 2019

Some random ideas for masochistic self play...
Super hot showers (to the point of extreme discomfort)
Nipple clamps
Wartenberg wheel
Self ties (rope bondage)
Elastic bands around your wrists or thighs that you can snap
Hot wax (only if you know what you're doing! can be very dangerous)

If you're into degradation, you can find someone online (probably here on The Cage) who would do an online only scene with you. Tell you all the disgusting an dirty things you want to hear while you play.

As far as discipline, that's much harder on your own. There are Doms here who would be willing to help you set goals and help enforce them (simply by having someone you have to answer to each day) without starting any kind of sexual or romantic relationship. It would be more like a mentor dynamic.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jul 31, 2019

In response to wat akittenforsir said " As far as discipline, that's much harder on your own. There are Doms here who would be willing to help you set goals and help enforce them (simply by having someone you have to answer to each day) without starting any kind of sexual or romantic relationship. It would be more like a mentor dynamic."

If you have a good friend kink or not they can help with that part also . although a good subbie friend would most likely work better than a vanilla one.

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Aug 1, 2019

slight hijack but still on topic.....

I know in the single male sub range many use sites like https://milovana.com/ or sites offering JOI, ther eis also a few online task generators is there a female equivalent?

LoveMyMaster​(sub female){Collared} • Aug 2, 2019

Where can I search and reference to learn about self bondage....specifically rope. I am apart from my Master for a short time and need to feel relaxed.... but, have little to no experience tying myself up. Any Rope Bunnies?

Has anybody seen the film/documentary called "Rope?" Awwww...... love it!!!! I want to be that woman!!!