First Contact

First Contact

Flippyn • Sep 14, 2019

I have already posted 2 topics on this fourum and I'm very glad for the answers, but I have encountered another problem. It is possibly not dom-sub related, but I want to ask anyway. I tried to contact a few free subs in my area. I just asked if they wanted to go out grab some coffe and talk, or chat a little bit more on kik etc. I was ignored 90% of the time. The message was recived but without response. What should I include in my messages to recive an answer. Was I to hasty to ask for a meeting? Was I too borin Not assertive enough? Can someone give me a tip how to gain a sub attention in the first text I send to them? Because sending another text without response seems...off

MSX​(dom male) • Sep 14, 2019

Ask questions of the individuals you are seeking to know more about. Listen to them and respond accordingly. Build up their trust...

Flippyn • Sep 14, 2019

The problem is just the fact that I get no response at all basicly. I don't want to build up a wall of questions in the first text, because it seems weird

MSX​(dom male) • Sep 14, 2019

You must allow them to feel safe with you... This comes with time and paying attention to their needs.

Justme26 • Sep 14, 2019

I think (and I might be wrong) that "cold messaging" is slightly frowned upon on sites like this one. I know it's a bore, but I suggest that you plough through the personals (that way they have effectively invited you to message them). I also suggest writing a blog as a way of contacting people.

BUT: I would think that 90% no response is quite normal. You might get lucky, but this is a long leboreas process, and you get used to a lot of ongoing rejection. Good luck.

Justme26 • Sep 14, 2019

Personaly I very seldom message anyone a second time if they do not reply to me, but, until they give you a defenate no, it is up to you.

Aria Smith​(dom female) • Sep 14, 2019

I'd say if you can glance through their profile you can asking maybe 2-3 questions to get something flowing without the expectation of a meeting at first. If there is no response back I say move on. some people just don't check on the site often or just abandon their accounts for whatever reason. and like other said you may want to look through personals just so you know you are connecting with someone that is actively searching as well

Bleiz​(sub female) • Sep 15, 2019

Hi Flippyn, just to clarify, you're messaging people you don't know just because they are submissives and you're asking them to meet up with you? If this is accurate, unfortunately, you'll be rejected a lot.

For myself, I need to get to know someone for awhile before ever agreeing to meet up. I need to learn their personality, things we have in common, what makes them tick to see if there's enough of a connection to warrant a meetup.

If you are spending time getting to know these submissives before trying to meet them, then maybe they just don't feel the same connection you do. It could also just be that not enough conversation has happened for them to build a good rapport with you.

I hope you are able to sort it out and you find what you're looking for. Good luck

No Body​(dom male) • Sep 15, 2019

Just from a man's point of view send out a hello and not an invite. As Bleiz said get to know them and them you. Think of it this way would you go to a meet and greet if I asked you once without ever knowing who I was? Subs need to feel safe when they meet someone new and I am sure you understand this. So think about how you would feel if you got a "hi i'm a sub lets meet". I agree with you that you need to meet other subs but be careful on who you talk to.

Bunnie • Sep 15, 2019

Hi Flippyn,

“Was I to hasty to ask for a meeting?”

Yes, that’s pretty quick to be asking someone to chat with you on another platform, and to meet. I tend to only chat with people away from here who I would meet in person, and it takes me at least a week to even determine if I’d like to meet someone in person.

It’s difficult to determine, without knowing what you said, but that definitely could be part (or all) of the problem.

Having said that, I personally do (or I should say... did... my message systems are locked off now) still respond to all messages sent to me, even if only to let someone know I’m not available and to wish them good luck. In my opinion, this whole thing of people simply ignoring people is just rude and arrogant. It takes two seconds to explain to someone that you’re not interested and why, in a polite and respectful manner... the same way we would like to be responded to if we had the courage to approach someone.

“Can someone give me a tip how to gain a sub attention in the first text I send to them?”

Firstly, let go of those that didn’t even have the courtesy to reply... they’re not worth your time. You won’t have to chase someone if they’re interested in you.

some general tips I think could be...

People who are comfortable with being themselves and who are non-apologetic about who they are... without being arrogant, stand out to me.

Honesty and sincerity.

Maybe suggest why you chose to approach that specific person... what about their profile (apart from vicinity) stood out to you?

Communication is the basis of so much about this lifestyle... in my opinion, the best time to start working on building that with someone is from the beginning.

Good luck