Blending the D/s dynamic with the vanilla world

Blending the D/s dynamic with the vanilla world

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Feb 10, 2020

How do you blend your submission to your Master into the vanilla world you must live in? I would love to hear some more ideas on this topic. I have my sterling silver collar that never comes off and does not have a clasp. His clothing choices for me also have an impact on my mindset. Bras with the nipples cut out and crotchless panties as well as His approval of everything I happen to be wearing for the day. I have been with Master long enough that I know His preferences better than mine, so when I have to make decisions, I make them based on what He would choose to do. Obviously, when I can, I ask for His opinion. I would like to know how other submissives/slaves maintain the dynamic when they interact in the vanilla world or are they completely separate? I'm asking as a 24/7 slave.

Thanks!

Lossofalme • Feb 11, 2020

Hmm... Well, in my case, we're married, we have children, and we both work outside the home. So although our relationship is built on a framework of 24/7 D/s, it is very specific to where we are right now (our relationship doesn't look like it did 5 years ago, or 15 years ago, and it'll look different 5 or 15 years down the road).

There are things I do (body care products I use because he prefers them, texts I send at specific times to keep him appraised of my activities, etc) that connect us throughout the day... but there is also a certain sense of Independent expectation. He expects me to behave in a certain way, to serve the community, to be a model for others... but those are more guidelines than actual rules.

So during the day I do have rituals of connection, but for the most part I'm on my own with just expectations to guide me.

Misterasmodai​(dom male) • Feb 11, 2020

I have a number of ways that my subs and I maintain our dynamics and even play in public. Subtle displays of dominance and submission like how we walk (my sub walks either in front of me and just to the left or right, depending on the style of the dynamic). I do things generally seem as polite like opening doors (she is not allowed to open a door if I am with her), pulling out her chair (she is not allowed to sit until I allow her to sit), ordering her food (I control her diet as punishment and reward). My subs pay for everything (I supply the money, I just do not exchange it unless it is formally with other Doms). I drive the cars (unless I have a chauffeur sub, then they drive).
I rest my hand on my subs in particular places (lower back for softer dynamics, back of the neck for harsher).
When in public, I use a lot of remote control toys. We may go to a store and my sub may have a toy in her pussy or ass (or, I may give it to her in the store and task her with putting it in covertly), then I control it at my whim with my phone while she attempts to complete whatever menial task we are there for.
There are all sorts of ways to maintain TPE or even discretely play in public.

Ohio prime​(switch male) • Feb 20, 2020

I have always enjoyed coy signals. A tug on an ear will get that cheek kissed, rub your neck gets your glass is refilled.

This I learned when I was introduced to the Lifestyle. My Mistress would be at a party talking with girlfriends and rub her neck. From across the room i walk up with a glass of wine and hand it to her. She would say "this guy just knows what I want all the time."

Her girlfriends loved me, I felt great, she had all the power and no one knew. Talk about a win win win win

Jules

MasterBear​(other butch) • Feb 20, 2020

We are 25/7.
We blend very easily--

Mostly because we dont call attention to it. We also value consent.

The general public did not consent to be
Party to our dynamic.

Collars are fine - many times it is viewed as a fashion choice.

But - and especially because-- my beloved is African American- I will never use the word slave in a public or mixed setting.