A little help?

A little help?

Hello Max​(sub gender queer) • May 5, 2020

I have been going through a really rough time lately and I've been leaning on my partner a lot. However, he is going through a lot more than me. How can I unwind without over burdening him or anyone else?... I'm an extremely closed off person and theres no one I am willing to talk to aside from him. Any suggestions as to a personal way to emotionally cleanse?

Abyssful​(sub female) • May 6, 2020

Start keeping a two-step journal. Vent your heart out. Walk away from it for about a half hour or more. Come back and read it, then respond to yourself as you would to your partner or close friend. Give yourself advice, condolences, and sympathy.

No Body​(dom male) • May 6, 2020

Find an ear to just vent on. Try a video diary and talk to. Many times I have just went off on a friend and felt so much better after. I guess it is the same for them since I get told (often) how shitty men are. (there is more to it but I will run out of space if I put it on here). The best thing about finding someone here is we know where your coming from and we won't hold it against you.

House Talion​(dom male) • May 6, 2020

Plentynofnppl vent here. If ya wanna do more than type you could keep a tik tok journal

Thanks

Hello Max​(sub gender queer) • May 7, 2020

I appreciate the feedback. I will try it out.

My Dear{Trust} • Jul 30, 2020

Ooo... I LOVE this idea!!!
Thanks!

OP, pour your stress and worry into the physical aspects of care. Care for you. Care for your partner. Care for that annoying coworker who picks at their teeth.
Think of a way every day to do something, no matter how minor, extra-above what you would normally do-for your partner. be consistent in your care but not monotonous. In time, the act of giving to them will be seen by them, and will help them to feel loved and supported in their time of need. For now, the energy and thought you put into it will occupy you and will benefit you by giving you some time of peace.

DesertLizard​(sub female) • Jul 30, 2020

I have been in a fairly stressful situation for many years (it's job related), plus I have an anxiety disorder and have had depressive episodes in the past. Here's a few thoughts.

If you are having major emotional issues or are dealing with a major crisis in your life, don't be afraid to seek professional help from a therapist. That's what I did when things got out of hand, and I am glad I did. Ask yourself questions like the following: Do you often worry too much about even little things? Do you have obsessive negative thoughts that keep coming back and that you cannot control? Do you often have feelings of worthlessness or feel that you have let others down? Do you have trouble relaxing? Are negative thoughts or emotions interfering with your normal day to day activities, your job, or your relationships? Are you often irritable or lash out at others? Do your moods change quickly and unpredictably? Do you have trouble falling asleep or getting enough sleep? Do you have feelings of despair? Those are just a few signs that indicate that it might be a good idea to see a therapist. No one should have to deal with severe emotional issues or crisis all by themselves, and the people close to us (e.g. friend, family, partner) usually aren't trained to work with someone through depression or other mood disorders. Therapy can really help. You also never have to feel like you are being a burden on the therapist because you "whine" to them about your problems and emotions–that's their job; they want to help you.

BUT, in case things aren't that bad and you are just looking for some strategies to unwind and manage your emotions that don't put any stress on your partner, here's some suggestions: exercise. It's scientifically shown that regular exercise has a positive effect on mental well-being, including less stress, better mood, less anxiety, etc. It also works to make you feel better in the moment because the body releases endorphins during exercise. And it's also a really good distraction–for many people, their mind goes blank when they exercise. You can even use exercise to vent anger and frustration if you really power through some sets. Another thing that I find helps me (and friends have said it helps them, too): looking at cute animal pictures, memes, and videos online. I knew a woman for whom that was her major strategy for dealing with her PTSD. It may sound silly but there is just something about watching animals that makes the mind kind of peaceful. Watching funny TV shows helps me unwind and distract myself, too. I also second the journaling idea that others have already brought up.